Have you ever done what you believed you were suppose to do, what you believed God wanted you to do, and everything just got worse. I did. I was sure I was to apologize to Maria for setting her up to take a shot at her bitterness and unforgiving attitude. I didn’t mention specifically why I was apologizing just that I was sorry for being so confrontational. Even though I did not accuse her of anything and accepted full responsibility for our argument, she is angrier now than before. She believed I was apologizing to attach her further for not forgiving me or anyone else she hates.
I guess the positive side of this is that I will not likely get in another argument with her. I also will never have another conversation with her. Neither of these situations is especially troubling. My life will go on much the same. She seems to always have someone she hates bitterly. I have been on that list and while not completely off, she as least spoke at times. We talked about the amount of time I could handle.
Don’t misunderstand. I do not believe a single thing she said about the conflict between Chas and CW. Chas did not start anything. I asked several people about what they remembered of the confrontation from the BBQ night. No other person remembers Chas saying anything. Nothing at all. Naturally, that makes me even more furious about the lies she told. That did not give me the right to attack her, even thought it was kind of fun – but wrong. It was wrong. Yes, it was! O will certainly have more peace.
I don’t know if I will be able to deal with the second issue. I have had great compassion for CW. Don’t get me wrong. I think he needs to go to a place where he will get the kind of help he needs. I do wish that had been found instead of simply evicting him. That is like Pilate washing his hands of any responsibility for Jesus. It’s fishy.
On Sunday night I saw him loading things into a pickup truck. I don’t know if tat means he has left or not. No one has seen him.
That’s my update. It hasn’t taken care of my emotional overload. Maybe it’s hormones. Maybe it just that time in the month (never had it before, but . . .)
2 comments:
Been there - I have also tried to make reconciliation and it just blew up the situation in my face. All we can do is leave the mess in God's hands to deal with as only He can. May you know His peace and renewal as a result of your obedience. - lew
I have found that when you day your sorry to s person who is mean to you it heaps coals upon them and they are sooo angry because they see that their anger isn't working on you and that you are not angry in return. It really ticks them off when you show pity and compassion!!! I love that part!!
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