IT'S COMPLICATED

Why oh why are cell phones so complicated. I greatly appreciate their portability. But I don't want games, the computer, or any aps for any reason. I like that it saves names and numbers. I like scrolling and calling. I have a camera for photos so I don't need a camera on my phone, do I?. I just want to make and receive calls.

I found a phone company that will cut my phone service charge in half each month. I like that. I did not like that I needed to get a new phone to have the service. It arrived today. I have spent most of the afternoon trying to figure out how to enter a "contact." There were no instructions. I guess they assume in this day and age that everyone can figure that out. WRONG! You know what assume makes: it makes an ass... Forget it. I did go on line to find more detailed instruction. There it was clear as mud. Directions on how to enter your contacts are as follows: First, select "MENU". Easy. menu is labeled. Then find contacts. Any ideas where I should look? No suggestions. I did finally find it after pushing nearly every button on the phone. Go to "names." So far so good. Then select "OPTIONS" — I'm sorry, but there was nothing that said options. I redid the approach several times. No thousands of times. Yes I'm frustrated. THERE IS NO "OPTIONS!" Once there, push "add a new contact." I would love to, but I COULDN'T GET THAT FAR. I am going to have to find a teenager to help me. Cell phones hate old people.

My instructions have multiple pages on texting, emailing, and connecting to the Internet. My plan allows for none of this. I can play games. I don't want to play games. I just want to enter some names and number, send and receive calls. OK, I don't mind people leaving a message. Is that so hard to understand. Can't someone write simple instructions for the technologically challenged?

I love it when there is plenty of bread at Wednesday bread wars. Plenty for everyone. No one got pushed, shoved, beat up stabbed or shot. What a wonderful day. That all started when we got back to The Home. A larger crowd than usual greeted us as we unloaded and took it to the table. The first comment was from one of my helpers. Where's the potato bread? I don't know. You are unpacking the boxes, not me. I would like some rye. There wasn't any today. Why? How should I know - maybe because there wasn't any. But I wanted rye. I believe they have some at the grocery store. And another, did you get any tortillas? Do you see any? We always get tortillas. Yes, usually, but there are some, but none today. After explaining that we were also missing raisin, cinnamon, and anything else you want that you cannot see on the table, the fight began. There were two loaves of Honey Winter Wheat. One lady set it aside and went to look for other bread. The bread thief got the second loaf then came and picked up the one set aside and ran for the elevator to get upstairs before she got caught. Another took the only loaf of potato bread. after she left there was a herd of cries for potato bread. WE HAVE NONE! NO, you may not take a whole box of donuts to your apartment. Those are for our coffee break. But so and so took one. Lets hunt her down, tar and feather her and then hang her from the nearest tree. Organize a possy. A new lady was trying to help sort the bread and pack a box for another complex. I watched her right in front of me take the bread our head sorter was packing and remove the bread to pack it in another identical box. That almost did me in. I had to leave or I would have burst into laughter. Maybe pulled my hair out. I went to get my hair cut. I looked like the Shaggy Dog and no one cared if I had bread.