AND.....

I'm beginning to hate the word "and.'' There are two residents for whom that word means, "do not interrupt me while I continue my speech until the young man falls to his death (obscure reference to the Apostle Paul's preaching where Eutychus fell from a window to his death because the sermon was so long). The only way to get into the conversation is to charge right in and tackle the speaker. Even then if you don't have duct tape for their mouth the talking will not stop.

I got caught at coffee this morning by one of those who thoroughly enjoys telling every tiny little detail of a story that you can't even figure out what the story was originally about. Of course my mind wanders in that situation. I mostly think about when they will stop, if I will live that long, or how can I escape gracefully.

I never want to interrupt with a question. That extends the speech. I try never to look real interested in hopes they they will notice my boredom and give it up. Take it from me. That never works. So I plot my departure and wait for a break. Fortunately today, a woman broke in to ask Harlow a question (another one trapped at the table). I excused myself and ran for my life. Thirty minutes was enough for me. Actually too much. It felt like three hours.

I really don't want to know the kind of boots you wore when building a state park at age 21. I don't care about the sleeping conditions or how cold it was. I already know that fighting fires is very hot work and want to know how you knew the temperature? I am not overwhelmed by the distant you can swim or how tired you were. While doing it to meet girls is mildly interesting, you had nothing to say about the only part that might have got my attention. Please tell me why you and your ilk are determined to bore the rest of us to death. Can't you see that public speaking is not the best way to make friends. I have heard those stories about you family and the horses you loved like little children. What I want is conversation. Has it ever occurred to you that you get to know people by asking them questions. It's called interaction.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't conversation a two way activity? You know, you talk, then I talk, then someone else talks and it keeps going like that. If you want to make a speech please post a notice and invite people to come listen to your lecture on how dogs evolved. That way I can lock myself in my apartment and you can talk to the wind to your hearts content.

Yeah. That was sarcastic. Can't help myself. I blame that on my family (always find someone else to blame). But to be perfectly honest I never talked that long in a single stretch when I was a college professor in the lecture hall. Give it a rest already.

Just a suggestion: Learn to ask questions of quieter people? Most people will talk about themselves. Show interest. Draw them out. You may be surprised how interesting people are. You don't have to dig anything out of me. I'll tell you, just give me room to get a word in.