I have been busy and am busy. I am working on one portrait, have another in the wings and just picked up four more. If I hit the mark immediately, I can do each one in 2-3 days, however, the “if” is big. One of the new ones has two kids on the same drawing. I have a hard time with those. If I get one right I often screw the other up. That means I start all over. But since it is only one picture in the eyes of the customer. They don’t understand why I want double. I should charge triple, but instead I only add 50% and pray for the best. Enough about my problems, they are the best ones I have had in years. I get to do what I love.
They finally approved me to drive the company bus-van. Whatever you call it. It is like one of those things that drive around airports. It holds 14 with two hookups for wheelchairs. We had our first outing on Friday for our once a month “Meal Out.” One of the residents found the nicest little bakery. Great bread. My trainer came along in case I had questions. I did have one. Where are the heat controls?
Chas has become belligerent. He claims to have done nothing wrong. In one way he is right. He bought the hall decorations and installed them, so I suppose he has the right to take them down. OK, maybe he does. Just like when he got carried away a year go with his garden. He was so angry at problems he was having with some people that he tore out all his flowers and threw them away. He hurt the feelings of more than his enemies on that one. Others missed the beauty at the front of the property. He does not believe he over reacted on this issue. He says he was called and told to remove the garland from the front of one person’s apartment. None of the communication was in anger or even demanding. It was a request. The amount to remove amounted to about two feet. He ripped out about ten feet and left the hallway looking strange. The extra eight feet were not even in front of the woman’s apartment. At least his housekeeper kept him from tearing out the whole thing – his original intent. He does not believe what he did was an over reaction. When I asked today if he thought he over reacted, he said no and wheeled away to end the conversation. He is not taking criticism from anyone. And why should he? He’s convinced he was right!
I preached last weekend and caught the bug. It had been about twelve years since I had preached. The first time (a little over a month ago), I was a nervous wreck. It went pretty well, but I had doubts I could even do it, I mean, being used of God. I was fearful of getting in the way, messing it up. I was well studied, intellectually prepared and - I thought – spiritually prepared. But something happened last weekend. First, I over prepared for Saturday. I put together enough material to teach two one hour classes and (I guess) believed I could condense it into 20-25 minutes. I was not satisfied. I went home that night and whittled it down to the barest of bones and clearly focused on one point. People fail us, but God never fails. A Romans 5:1-6 promise. The Spirit was upon me and I spoke for God on Sunday. I never believed that would ever happen again. I had failed. I was used up. I had blown it. I was finished. Everything I felt and thought convinced me that was true. I knew I had been discarded and I had accepted it. But God was not finished with me. I was shocked.
I have no idea where it goes from here, and I’m fine with that.
2 comments:
Wonderful! (about your speaking)
"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven!"
I used to work at a place where a few would infect the rest with negativity. I prayed lots and made it my goal to do the opposite--infect the rest with hope and joy. I can picture that you do the same there!
So thrilled to read of your preaching! YES! Our God uses the weak, the un-noble, the foolish, and the despised... and I think, the discarded people of this world, too! I think I qualify... lol.
But then, He gets all the glory when He uses broken vessels that are willing to admit they are broken. And we learn again, that Christ is our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Incredible!
As a gardener, what matters is that the grafted branch 'takes' to the graft cut into the vine... and then, that it has no blockage within its hollow veins. To 'take', we keep it 'glued in' with wraps and even tar. But only the branch knows if it has blockages.
As I age, I see how aging 'glues' me closer to Christ. And, I see how my own reliance on His mercy keeps the blockages of pride, status, and power at bay.
Keep 'glued' in, Clyde, lol.. I think there is no other choice ... and just continue to rely on Him. I am doing more for His Kingdom now, than ever. You can do more now than ever, too.
Much love in Christ always and unconditionally; Caryn
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