A little of this and a little of that

I have been busy and am busy. I am working on one portrait, have another in the wings and just picked up four more. If I hit the mark immediately, I can do each one in 2-3 days, however, the “if” is big. One of the new ones has two kids on the same drawing. I have a hard time with those. If I get one right I often screw the other up. That means I start all over. But since it is only one picture in the eyes of the customer. They don’t understand why I want double. I should charge triple, but instead I only add 50% and pray for the best. Enough about my problems, they are the best ones I have had in years. I get to do what I love.

They finally approved me to drive the company bus-van. Whatever you call it. It is like one of those things that drive around airports. It holds 14 with two hookups for wheelchairs. We had our first outing on Friday for our once a month “Meal Out.” One of the residents found the nicest little bakery. Great bread. My trainer came along in case I had questions. I did have one. Where are the heat controls?

Chas has become belligerent. He claims to have done nothing wrong. In one way he is right. He bought the hall decorations and installed them, so I suppose he has the right to take them down. OK, maybe he does. Just like when he got carried away a year go with his garden. He was so angry at problems he was having with some people that he tore out all his flowers and threw them away. He hurt the feelings of more than his enemies on that one. Others missed the beauty at the front of the property. He does not believe he over reacted on this issue. He says he was called and told to remove the garland from the front of one person’s apartment. None of the communication was in anger or even demanding. It was a request. The amount to remove amounted to about two feet. He ripped out about ten feet and left the hallway looking strange. The extra eight feet were not even in front of the woman’s apartment. At least his housekeeper kept him from tearing out the whole thing – his original intent. He does not believe what he did was an over reaction. When I asked today if he thought he over reacted, he said no and wheeled away to end the conversation. He is not taking criticism from anyone. And why should he? He’s convinced he was right!

I preached last weekend and caught the bug. It had been about twelve years since I had preached. The first time (a little over a month ago), I was a nervous wreck. It went pretty well, but I had doubts I could even do it, I mean, being used of God. I was fearful of getting in the way, messing it up. I was well studied, intellectually prepared and - I thought – spiritually prepared. But something happened last weekend. First, I over prepared for Saturday. I put together enough material to teach two one hour classes and (I guess) believed I could condense it into 20-25 minutes. I was not satisfied. I went home that night and whittled it down to the barest of bones and clearly focused on one point. People fail us, but God never fails. A Romans 5:1-6 promise. The Spirit was upon me and I spoke for God on Sunday. I never believed that would ever happen again. I had failed. I was used up. I had blown it. I was finished. Everything I felt and thought convinced me that was true. I knew I had been discarded and I had accepted it. But God was not finished with me. I was shocked.

I have no idea where it goes from here, and I’m fine with that.

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR ME

To hear my message and be amazed and stimulated not to mention shocked that I spoke nearly mumble and stumble free (OK, there were some) go to:

Living Word Christian Center, Silverdale, WA

Click under the video Icon on Past Sermons Here

Go to “It’s Just Not Fair” and all three sermons are there.

I recommend 9/24/11 7:00 pm (that’s Saturday and I think it was the best.)

In case you are curious the pastor is on the back right on guitar, his wife is the back right on keyboard, his son is on the front left guitar and his daughter is in the front center as lead singer Now sing "We are a happy family." I love these people (I have to say that. He might read my blog).

Here is the link to the Saturday night Service that Clyde spoke at. It starts at the 32 minute mark.

http://ustre.am/:1bnXD - The pastor

IT IS FINISHED

Obviously I did not write Sunday night as I promised. (I must stop making promises). I under estimated how tired I would be. It was a great weekend. I was pretty relaxed. I was nervous initially, but as the day to preach got closer I had no fear of the audience. I was familiar enough with this congregation that I was completely comfortable being up front. I had study sufficiently that to fully believe I was on the right track and God was in this.

If you ask me and who else would you ask, Saturday night went the best. I stayed on track all night and while I wished for more laughter (I think I’m funny), it was clear the audience was tracking with me. I never saw a single person wandering away. I can’t remember when I have had that kind of total response. I got lost once and had to hesitate to find my place. But I managed to stay with my outline and included all I had planned.

When I got home that night I went back over the outline because I had the feeling I got lost because something was in the wrong order. Didn’t seem like it. It was also a wonderfully warm night )most likely our last of the season so Chas and I sat on the front porch talking till nearly 11:00. Seems like it was the warmest of our three-week summer.

It was cool Sunday. But not raining when I walked to church. My apartment next-door neighbor was there. She had been in the hospital and had come from recovering at her daughter’s home. It was great to see her. She looked terrific — tired, but terrific. She3 things she is coming back to The Home Tuesday.

Both Sunday services were more difficult. I had the physical energy for two services in a row, but some of the mental stamina was gone. Strangely I stumbled in the same place as Saturday night. While it looked OK, I now knew something was turned around but it was too late to fix. I just trusted God to help me get through.

I thought all was fine for that service. There were six people from The Home – all friendly faces. But I forgot my best joke — one about the poor band not being able to afford shoes. Many members of our church band play barefooted. It was my best laugh on Saturday. The hardest part about missing that joke at that service is it was the only service the band hears. I felt like my audience contact slipped a bit by this second service but there were some very encouraging comments.

I was most troubled by the last service. I got a tickle in my throat that water would not wash away. My voice slipped into mafia kingpin mode with a hoarse somewhat nasal sound. Reminded me of Marlon Brando in the Godfather. Then the coughing started. I managed getting a couple to the side away from the mic, but one was directed right into the mic. I think when I covered my mouth I caught it in my hands and hacked right into it. It sounded a bit like an explosion. I may have even deafened some people.

My family came to that last service and my grand kids would were wonderful to me. My daughter was very pound. She knew what few knew. I needed this opportunity to complete a restoration from years ministry pain. I had convinced myself that I had no place in a public ministry. That had much to do with the nervousness. While I believed the quality slipped some with each service, it was completely healing for me as it reassured me that God has blessed my ministry of the past and had not thrown me out with the garbage as some of his servants had done.

All in all I am grateful for the opportunity and that God gave me the courage to try again. Cindy is a hard workingwoman who brings a number of seniors each Sunday from a care facility and came with her boyfriend on Saturday night. I know nothing about the boyfriend but he was so focused and had a tear running down his left cheek from time to time. He was with me all the way. I really wanted to know his story. She threw her arms around me on Sunday morning and told me it was wonderful and hoped I would speak again.

I was very surprised and, glad God spoke to her and hoped the pastor didn’t hear her comment. While the opportunity was spiritual healing for me, I don’t need more. it is no longer a life goal. Admittedly it kicked a bit of new life into these weary bones. I would beg to do it often if it caused weight loss, but alas, that didn’t happen.

IMPROVED APARTMENT AND CHURCH

It’s Monday night and the public speaking assignment is now only six days away. Nerves calmed down. No real reason. U guess I just kept busy. I know the passage and I kept going over it in my mind and adding related thoughts. I rarely write things down at this point. I just want to know where I am going so well I will not really need my notes. At least it used to be that way. Who knows now?

On Friday the Housing Authority had a big garage sale across the street. A couple months back they moved from two doors down to Bremerton, now several miles away. Considering what was being sold I guess they got all new furniture. There were desk, chairs, and file cabinets galore.

Since I moved here to a much smaller space than I had ever had before I created a make shift deck. I had a board stretched across two two-drawer filing cabinets. It would have been nice had the filing cabinets been the same height. Since they weren’t I had several loose boards on top of the short one to try and even them out. It wasn’t perfect, but it was workable. The biggest problem was the board was too wide and there was lots of wasted space.

So I went to the garage sale to see if there was anything cheap that would work and improve the looks of my apartment. I found a secretaries desk with a return, I didn’t want the return so I measured its height, went home and measured my filing cabinets and one was the exact height I needed. Since I only wanted half the desk, I got the oak secretaries desk for $15.00. I disliked a stool I had for my drawing table. It was too high and gave me a sore back. So I thought (good thinking) that an adjustable secretaries desk might do the trick. I felt like I won the lottery. Picked that up for $10.00. Amazing, my living room is beginning to look like a real apartment and now I feel like a real person.

Getting those things has motivated me to straighten the whole place up. It takes a lot to motivate me to do that. I am even getting rid of books. I have no idea why I continue to buy books. I am a block and a half away from the public library. Duh! What is it about book ownership that seems so important? Today I took a pile over to The Home’s library. My daughter will come and go through the rest this weekend and that will let me remove another small bookcase that is really in the way. I am still trying to go through boxes of silly things in storage. My yearbooks go next.

We have a Bible study at The Home tomorrow and the pastor will bring his camera and we will do some kind of interview as a lead in to the service. I got connected to this church through the Bible Study. I was attending a much larger church with my family, but this little one is only two blocks away. I was hesitant to get involved, as his church is the same denomination I attended as a child. Not good memories. I attended for a year with no one speaking to me before I decided to call it my church. Involved was to tell him I was attending that church. He is a good preached and the musical talent of the church is outstanding. I had never seen that in a small church before.

Anyway, so I’m there. I am a greeter at the first two services Sunday morning. That’s a fancier work than the job. I help seniors up out steep stairs or the ramp. I move chairs to make room for wheelchairs. I help seniors get coffee, if the like. I do give out bulletins and greet most people by name, finally. I ask about their week, their job, their family whatever need the indicated the week before. I take guests to a seat, get them coffee and a donut and introduce them to several people in their age group. I didn’t like how it was being done so I took over after my predecessor was sent to prison on drug charges. Don’t ask. That’s a whole other story I will get too.

I know most of the people now. I am a strange fit for the church as there are two main groups, maybe three. The first and largest group is recovering addicts. They have a great ministry to these people. The second is young adult musicians. The pastor’s whole family is very musical and his children are all married adults. His son had several bands through high school and most come and play at the church. He plays drums, guitars, bass and keyboard. Very gifted yet very talented. His two daughters play guitars and sing beautifully. The oldest is the music director. One of the son-in-laws is also musically gifted and all these people attract others and seem to connect with musicians immediately. A new musician can attend on one Sunday and be playing on the worship team the next. I love it.

Gone are the days that anyone in this church mush prove themselves and attend here five years before they are allowed to do anything. This strange little church has several people who just get up to take the offering when the need arises. There is no schedule. I thought it was weird, but it works. This is the most laid back church I have even attended. The band plays mostly barefoot. Call the elders, get the district leadership, and get the president. This must be stopped now. Do it and I leave!

I'M BACK AND I'M NERVOUS

I have been off line for so longI’m sure a couple of you have wandered away or wondered what happened to me. IfI were you I would have abandoned me by now. I understand it has been 12 days. If the truth were to be known (and its going to be rightnow) I seriously considered writing one last posting to tell you I was givingup my blog. I am aware there are times I have very little to say — especiallysince so many tenants have calmed way down.

I have had no energy for the pastcouple of weeks (excuse #2, #1 was that I have nothing to say). I get up, eatbreakfast and want to go back to sleep right after. My doctor is quit sure Ihave sleep apnea. He wants to schedule me for a test. I resent that option. Ican’t sleep the first couple of nights in a strange bed and the thought ofsomeone watching me while I have cords attached to my head is a sure way tokeep me awake all night. Take all the junk off and sent me home and I will fallasleep almost right away. Of course, I will be wide away in an hour or twoanyway. That was excuse #3 — poor sleep.

I have been sitting here trying tothink of more excuses, but decided to tell you I will be back for 3-4 writing aweek. It just dawned on me that I will be preaching next Sunday. I will keepyou up to date on my daily fears and trepidation.

When asked to speak a few weeks inadvance, I have never had trouble saying yes. However, during the last few saysrunning up to the event I regret I said yes ever. You would think I would havelearned.

It’s time to confess that evenafter 37 years of ministry, I was never the top man or the one in charge. I wassecond or third or even so far down the list you could not figure out where Iwas in the ascension list should the top man be offed. My training was inChristian Education, a field that no longer exists. Christian Education wasfirst replaced by the study of Church Growth. When that discipline came ontothe scene, they used all the same terms CE did, but were wearing a differentovercoat. I often felt like we were saying the same thing. That discipline wasimportant because it studied how to make your church bigger and better so youcould be successful. CE was not really about bigger, just better teaching. Forthe Church Growth perspective CE apparently was about taking care of kids andkeeping youth off the streets. Hear the cynicism. If not, read that paragraphagain. Solomon was right — there is nothing new under the sun.

Now you know what I preached tothe choir for years. We were replaced. That’s OK. Even the church mustcontinually reinvent itself. Not to change the message, but update the deliverysystem. I really wish I were a video man. Alas, I can only use the overhead(that’s an old machine that set by my desk on which I laid “transparencies”that would that be projected —Huh! What are transparencies? Forget it. Read ahistory book).

All that to say, I wish I had saidno! Unlike most times past, I have plenty of time. I’m not sure if that is goodor bad. It doesn’t matter, I am still nervous. When I was first asked I wastold I would speak on the last Sunday of September. Today is only the 18^th.How can next Sunday be the last of the month? I thought I had two weeks. I feellike I’m the student in school who wants to ask for an extension. I can’tremember if it is 12 or 15 years since I have done this. All I know is that Ithought it was over.

I never gave a single speech in myhigh school communications class. I passed because of paper work. In BibleCollege I got one B and the rest were lower. The first Sunday I preached inUniversity Drive Alliance I sat on the platform staring out at the 600 peopleand making myself sweat. When I got up to preach, I was so dry and nervous thatI reached under the pulpit for the glass of water and said in my deepest most seriouspastoral voice “Let us pray” then reached for the water, needed two hands tohold it steady, then took a quick drink only the see the ushers nearly rollingon the floor in laugher out in the foyer. I’m surprised I could even speakafter that.

I always liked teaching andusually sat on a table or walked around. I’m going to ask for a table. I can’twalk. They have a live pod cast of their service with a cameraman who sleepsduring the message. It can be found at Living Word Christian Center,Silverdale, WA. Live pod casts are at 7:00 p.m. Saturdays and 930 and 11:00Sunday mornings. I’m told the services are archived, but I went to the site andcouldn’t see where they were. I’ll ask around. Someone may know. Chas just camein. The archived messages are under “Media” then “Sermon Archive.”

It’s only Sunday with a week to go.My knees are not knocking yet, but the blood pressure is rising. I’m glad Idon’t have a doctor’s appointment this week.