STRESS FOR CHRISTMAS

I have known theoretically that a person can have stress and not recognize they have it. We may even know the signs of stress and not accept them as stress. I prefer the kind of stress you feel. You know, good old-fashioned aches and pains, even diarrhea or constipation or chest pain and a rapid heartbeat. While I don’t enjoy any of these (and who would) they at least make me wonder if I might be stressed. When my shoulders tighten up and I can’t shake that off, it is stress. For me, it is always stress. It may start in the shoulders, but it reaches my stomach in no time.

What I don’t always get are some of the intellectual responses. I can’t say I ever considered that memory problems may be a sign of stress. My neurosurgeon suggested that might be a connection. I would tell you everything he said, but I can’t remember.

Inability to concentrate is another one he suggested. That may explain the flitting around of the past weeks. The inability to stay focused. I jump from one task to another often not finishing any of them in a timely manner. The only thing I remember sticking with was a James Patterson novel I had to know what was happening. I’m about 3-4 chapters from finishing off another J.A. Jance novel. I actually fell asleep, in bed, reading last night. I jerked awake when the book fell out of my hands to the floor. I have got to finish that today.

While books are a relaxation for me, I have a drawing I must finish for two reasons. The man wants it before Christmas and I need the money. I van only stay at the drawing board so long before concentration wanes. That is usually when I it a spot I am struggling with or is not coming together right. The drawing is a portrait of a couple. I always start with the eyes, nose and mouth. If those are not right, the drawing is not right. I captured the guy right away. I am having trouble with the woman’s right eye, more accurately the space between the eye and eyebrow. It actually does help to step away awhile. I know how to fix it this morning – just haven’t started yet.

I know I have felt somewhat overwhelmed. I had a lot going on beginning in November. It seems worse now. I was going to surprise my daughter by having her stove repaired for Christmas. I had it all worked out. I met a repairman at her house while all were at work. Guess what? It can’t be repaired. She needs a new stove. That is not going to happen. Since she is hosting a Christmas Eve gathering of the family Saturday night, we have been trying to figure out how to put this off. I can prepare anything needing cooked in the oven. Her stovetop still works. But I can’t stop trying to figure out how to keep everything warm and be there for the early part of the evening.

Yes, stress has slowed me down. When I finish the one drawing I have left, I will begin the slow down stage. I will welcome that with open arms. Retirement is suppose to be stress free. Maybe I should retire. Maybe I should just not stress out so much. I have never figured out how to get my body to cooperate with my mind. Please do not give me advise on how to accomplish that. It will just give me more stress.

If I have not yet built some stress up in you, you are a well-developed and emotionally healthy person. Congratulations! That’s what I want for Christmas. I already have my two front teeth.