The home has been decorated beautifully each year. It took longer than usual to get going because of the actions of one person last year. That person sees themselves as the keeper of the decoration and the public areas of the building. Things only go where she says they go. Bi creativity was allowed last year so no one was willing to help her this year. When she finally shut herself in her room out of anger, everyone else got together and decorated out building. And frankly, it looks better that ever.
None of this progress is evident in the main building. The resident who manages the kitchen and makes sure there is coffee every morning, appears to also be the keeper of the Christmas decorations. She is angry this year and she does not want to put up Christmas decorations yet - an so no one wants to cross her so no decorations have gone up. Her anger is stupid (but then most anger is stupid). He wants a man in her life and has decided which man (not me, thankfully). The man has told her it will never happen. HOWEVER (and this is important) he continues to treat her like the love of his life. His words and actions are in conflict. So she is taking her anger out on everyone, and everyone is letting her.
It is not beginning to look al lot like Christmas in the main building, but it is over here. But even here, bitterness has raised its ugly head. Chas decorated the hall on the first floor with garland and ornaments. It looks real nice. There is an inset in front of all our apartments and most people decorate that are their selves. Two apartments were already decorated when Chas got started so he left them alone. In fact, he bought garland to match theirs. He ran that garland everywhere except directly in front of his arch enemies place. However, he did run it around a corner into her area. The lady kindly asked her housekeeper if the garland could be removed as she wanted to decorate her own area. It was a reasonable request. The house keeper took care of the problem for Chas. When she told him what had happened, he wanted to go out and tear it all down. He was talked out of that, but went and cut a large section off that was approacher her apartment. It now looks terrible. He ruined the whole affect because of his over reaction and anger.
When he does that, which is more often than even he admits, people pull away from him and he sulks off to have his own little pity party. He never keeps that party quiet. He tells a few friends how hurt he is and that no body likes him (if no one likes him why does he tell anyone - he would likely have no friends to tell)? The point is to get some people to tell him they like him and beg him to be part of things. I for one am tired of his manipulation. And so are some others. He has a way of turning a nothing item into a huge issue. He keeps thinking he his going to be thrown out. Keep it up and he will.
I have talked to him so many times about this and he agrees while we are together, but acts as though he has no memory of it a few minutes later. This last escapade will send him into retreat in his little apartment. He wanted to go see the lights in another week and I am driving the bas just so he can go. It is likely he will be too embarrassed to go and will blame it on something else. He causes many of his own problems. Gail will tell him straight out and I am going to tell him tonight. This has got to stop.
Of course, like a two year old, I will tell him again and again until it sinks in. I pray that happens soon - for my sanity.
The lack of trust leads to seeing everything with an ulterior motive. Ever action is questioned and the sincerity is doubted. That comes from their own self hatred. They don't believe any compliment or good deed. People begin to wonder what the point is. There is an air of oppression at The home emanating from three people. That is a cancer that is infecting everything.
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