POPULARITY

I wasn’t as interested in being popular in high school as I was being accepted. I had gone to grade school with basically the same kids for nine years. We knew each other as well as any kid really knows another.

I was the “drawer” and the daydreamer. If teams were being picked for anything, I was always picked near the last. I wasn’t totally uncoordinated and I wanted to be good at baseball, softball, dodge-ball football and anything else where teams were picked. I hated being near the end of the line. I couldn’t even get picked near the beginning for spelling games. I wasn’t terrible, just average.

The only organized sport I ever played was little league football. I am sure I was allowed to play because they needed one more player. No one sat or the bench — ever. I was a hero only once. We were lined up at the enemy’s goal line and they were going to try and kick their way out of a pickle. Several on my team were yelling get the ball, get the ball. I was at right tackle, a position I did not play very well. It doesn’t matter. No one believed I played any position very well. On offence I was a receiver, but I never received anything. The ball was snapped and I rushed in like I was supposed to and I was suddenly stopped dead in my tracks, and dropped to the ground holding my nose. The dust cleared and bodies unpiled and I was still on the ground. My nose is now bleeding and my team began cheering. They picked me up hoisted me on to the shoulders of a couple of guys and ran me to the sidelines. Apparently when I stopped the ball with my nose (no helmets in those days) I had also fallen on the ball for a touchdown. My nose hurt and I wanted to cry, but the guys were so happy so I tried to enjoy my one moment of football glory.

I was a “C” student in high school. I did a little better in art and mechanical drawing even though I erased a great deal. I had a choice of two high schools and chose the college prep school. Most of my classmates went to the Technical school where all my siblings attended. Told you I was different. I didn’t fit anywhere. I took a girl from grade school to the first school date. She informed me that we could dance the first song, but after that we should mingle. She mingled, I played wallflower with a few guys I had recently met who came alone and were there only to laugh at people.

My girl, and I use the term loosely, came near the end of the dance and announced she had met a senior and was going home with him. I already knew how to handle rejection. Grade school taught me that. I accepted it. A while later the guys asked if I wanted to go get a soda. It was that or leave alone. As we were leaving, she came and apologized and said she would go with me. With a nasty streak that raises its ugly head in my life occasionally, I said, no thank you. I’m going out with the guys. Can you imagine — we never spoke again! Boo, hoo, ho.

Skip to the present. I had a reasonable successful career and was generally well accepted. I had leadership positions so there was always someone who wanted me gone. But, like I said, I had been prepared for rejection.

What I was never trained for or prepared for was being the most popular guy in the crowd. I had to come to The Home get that honor. In a way it is no honor at all. There are only three guys here who will mix and socialize with the women. Of the three, I am the most outspoken and for some reason have become the class clown, a role I never played historically. Harlow has a small harem that is pretty consistent. He works puzzles in the other building with most of them. Chas has one woman in particular who is chasing him. Chas weighs over 500# and is wheelchair bound. She has been bold enough to tell him she could teach him a few sexual tricks. While he rejected that, he has not rejected her. That leaves me. I am fairly consistent about the time I go to coffee. Five to eight women show up when I do. If people want a group event or activity, I am always invited. I have become the life of the party, the jokester, the funny guy, and the one who will remove tension. I am happy with the role when it stops conflict, but mostly I just want to be the average guy that blends into the woodwork. Why did popularity have to come in The Home? Oh, I know— I have a van that seats seven.