LINES

I am tired of lines. I’m even more tired of being in lines behind talkers and women from another world. I don’t care if it’s a grocery store, bank or art supply store. I don’t want to be behind anyone who is personal friends with the cashier, working on dating them or becoming their best friend. All I want to do is pay for my things and leave. My patience had never been terrific and it almost disappears in lines. Haven’t they learned anything about lines from their trip to Disneyland? Keep it moving.

The talkers have their elbows on the counter are laughing and smiling and having a grand old time. They never once turn to see the crowd developing behind them. In this case I also blame the cashier. They see the line building and refuse to do a thing about it. They would be fired at Disneyland. They could tell their friend about the about the person in line who appears to be fainting because of how long they have been in the line. Then there might be understanding. But that never happens. Both of them are oblivious to anything but their own conversation. If the customer pulls out pictures of any kind, I am going to scream. When they get to the list of their relatives and how each is doing I want to tackle them out of the way. Can’t they see that steam is coming out of the top of my head?

While the talkers are the worst, the daydreamers are right up there at the top. These are the people who have no idea they will ever be asked to pay for their purchase. They watch the cashier total everything or stare off into space, see it all completely bagged and wait until the total is announced before they even begin looking for how they will pay. These are usually the women from another world. They carry purses that have everything in them including the kitchen sink. They have to unpack their suitcase and begin to look like they are preparing for a strip search to find the missing wallet or check book.

If they are paying with cash, they are going with pay with the exact amount down to the very penny. That means dumping their coins onto the counter and counting it at least twice to make sure it is correct. When the customer has completed the process of counting it out. The cashier takes over. Thankfully, she is somewhat faster.

The ones paying with their credit card are just as bad. Am I the only ones who keep my cards to a minimum? Has it not occurred to them to begin the search for the elusive card before they even left home? Is it really necessary to have a choice of 30-50 different cards? Do they not know they need both a stores discount card and a credit card? Do they not know they can’t use Safeway’s discount card at Albertsons? Don’t they know that it is the after work rush and every till is open and has a line down every aisle? Are they blind? Have they ever thought ahead about anything in their lives? Get a move on it and get out.

But the absolute worse line stopper is the one who will pay by check. They need to go to a remedial course on paying by check. I look forward to the day checks are gone for good. Find the checkbook while the cashier is checking through your items. Fill out the date, the name of the store and sign it while you are waiting. How hard is that? Do you know haw annoying you are? Do you have any idea what those behind you in line think of you? Have you completely given up being concerned about other people’s opinion of you? Maybe you have. Then think about this. Care about those behind you. Care about what you are doing with other people’s time. Care about the tantrum I am about to have. Care about the names I am about to call you. Care about the scene I am going to create because I blame you for my complete breakdown.

All right. I admit I am a very self-controlled human being. But I have bad thoughts and they are about you and your self-centered ignorant ways. You are a selfish, thoughtless sub human being and I would scream and yell and make a humongous scene if I weren’t the only one in the line that isn’t in a hurry to go anywhere. I’m retired and have all the time in the world. You are lucky I am the one right behind you. Now, just move along and get out of my way.