MUSICALLY CHALLENGED

I love it. Our little park down the road is hopping today. I was coming back home from a Doctors appointment (typical outing for t=folks at The Home) and hit a snag when I came off the freeway. From freeway to The Home is typically a trip of 5 minutes. Today it was 22 minutes. It was so bad I was sure there just had to be a horrible accident. It was backed up on the exit road. When I got on that road it was backed up at the curve. When I came around the curve the straightaway was jammed. How bad was this accident. When I finally reach my right hand turn that would head me to The Home and pass the park, it is packed with teens. An end of the year get out of school party sponsored by a group of area churches was well under way.

While I am a nosey old man, I did not stop nor have I walked down to check it out. I just asked those around here of some who are nosier (is that a word?) than I. There are plenty around. The event began at noon and will last until 8:00 tonight. While the park is four blocks away, it is not necessary for me to go down to hear the music. As with most concerts as the park, all I can really hear is the beat. I wouldn’t even know they existed without the drums. There are booths of all kinds, food, music, and the bay of course, but it’s way to cold to go in the water unless you are a Canadian. They’re nuts about glacier fed lakes. I shiver thinking about it.

The traffic coming and going past my apartment is massive. I know there are more than a hundred. One Know-It-All (I mean that in the kindest way) said they are expecting a thousand or more teens. I know there are at least seven more kids on their way. They just walked by my window. The present singer I can hear. However, I have never cared for singers (I use that word liberally) who shout the words with no key even in mind. I think the music (again I use the word Liberally) is supposed to carry the melody. I didn’t know that drums could ever carry the melody, but I was never a music major.

I did take a conducting class once. I apparently needed two more credits in something or other and the only thing that would fit my schedule was choral conducting. It wasn’t a bad class. Yes, I am a little musically challenged, but got to listen to music of all types and practice waving my arms to the beat. I grasp the idea pretty good, but actually working with a choir would be a killer. We had to conduct the Hallelujah Chorus with the school choir as guinea pigs. They were not to come in if I did not bring them in. I was counting on them being such good singer who knew the piece so well they would sing even If my conducting was, shall we say, off key. Wrong. They had a great deal of self-control. There were several silent moments. So much for their help! I decided a “C” grade was not good enough to become a choir director. But I really liked waving my arms to the beat of the music. So much that even now when I really enjoy a piece on the radio or CD, I conduct it by myself. I guess I’m pretty good. These groups are always right on.

My new bride convinced me to sing a duet with her in her home church. I was young and foolish. I don’t understand it, but I was never asked again. She sang in several different groups after our debut. But not being asked hurt my feelings. I couldn’t understand why they would not want a slightly off key, shaky legged guy perspiring profusely to sing for them. I really didn’t ever want to do it again. I can’t believe I ever did it in the first place, but it would still have been nice to be asked.

I could try out for American Idol, but I’ve noticed they are prejudiced against old people. Age discrimination. I don’t understand why they choose they ones they do. I mean, I can scream and sing off key. I had kids and picked up screaming naturally. Also, I am off key naturally. At least I could compete in the park. I guess I’m just too old.