BLACK FRIDAY

What happened to Black Friday? Where did it go and who stole it? I know the general concept is there, but when is it?

Back in the olden days (two years ago or so) it was the Friday morning after Thanksgiving, or maybe even the middle of the night. I think the big day started at 4:30 or maybe even 5:00 a.m. I’m not really sure as I was rarely up at that time of the night. Of course, with age that has changed a bit. No matter, I could never have gotten myself together enough to go out in the dark, camp out of wait in line to spend money regardless of what a great buy was waiting.

I only did it once for the experience. My daughter and I went to some big box store to get specific items. We both managed to get our hands on some of what we wanted, but the checkout was the worst experience of my life (probably an exaggeration). I was in line for one hour and twenty minutes – and the store had every register open and running. The people in front of me had so much stuff it made me wonder where they all got their money. Two items were not worth the wait.

That was then and this is now. Everything in advertizing is about Black Friday, but I swear they have no idea when Friday it or what week the particular “Black Friday” is to be held.

I have noticed several places online, notably Amazon and Groupon where I can buy items at B lack Friday prices now. Maybe this is OK for them since their plan maybe to ship it to me on Black Friday. But there was a TV ad of a store that had Black Friday prices last Friday. Just a little jump-start I guess.

K-Mart is open all day Thanksgiving. Kohl’s open’s at 12:01 a.m. Friday morning (Midnight actually). A few others have announced that same start. Target wants a jump on Kohl’s so is opening at 11:00 p.m. Thursday. I can’t remember who it is, but someone is opening at 9:00 p.m. Thursday. And of course, all grocery stores will be open all day.

Between shoppers and sales clerks cutting into so many family days, who is left to have Thanksgiving with? I know emergency services have always missed out on either Thanksgiving or Christmas. Things are so confusing that we may as well have a Thanksgiving week and a Christmas week when people can celebrate when ever it fits their schedule. Fundamentally, many families have to do that now. With that change stores could maintain their regular hours and be open all the time. In reality, there is no Black Friday any more, so let’s officially abandon it.

There is really no need for any official declaration; it looks like it is going to die a natural selfish death. So to that ancient shopping day of years gone by, I say farewell and good riddance. I for one will not miss you one bit. I hate the hype, I hate the crowds and I hate the checkout lines and most of all I prefer a newspaper devoid of a hundred or more flyers (maybe another slight exaggeration). I like your prices, but I hate what you expect of me to get those bargains. I feel like Pavlov is at work again. Yum, yum!

WHAT TO BUY?

We are all aware of the power of advertizing even if we claim not to be influenced by the money thrown at the project. I have no problem buying generic for non-edible items, but I have more hesitation when I am going to put it in my mouth. I once bought “Fred’s Split Pea” soup at Grocery Outlet. The price was terrific so I thought it was worth a try. I like split pea soup and enjoy a couple of different brands – both well known. But, of course, they cost way more than Fred’s. On, this was not a recent purchase. I did this went I had enough to buy Campbell’s.

I have no idea what Fred’s complete recipe is, but I can tell you it tasted like it was mixed in mud and I know mud. I ate mud when I was young. But Fred’s mud was bland and had added sand. I am not a picky eater but could not get even one bite down. Fred is no longer in my list of great food buys. No, I do not mean Fred Myers

I know this is ancient history, but there were several things my mother did not prepare me to handle when I left for college. She made sure I had laundry detergent, toothpaste, deodorant, soap and several other essential products for beginning life on my own. What she did not do was discuss how one selects these products is you didn’t keep the empty package or write the name down before disposal. As I ran out of the initial supplies I walked to a nearby grocery store to buy replacements. I had not idea what to buy. When I faced this mammoth aisle of laundry detergent I was overwhelmed. I could see the different prices, but had no idea what was good. I am grateful for TV as I ultimately chose Tide because it made clothes whiter than white and who wouldn’t want that. I bought Peposodent toothpaste because I wanted to wonder where the yellow went when I brushed my teeth with ——— (fill in the blank).

TV told me all I needed to know about what products to buy. I bought what I saw advertised. Maybe it came from the radio, newspaper or a magazine, I’m not sure. I do know I never bought an item I never heard of and my friends and I did not sit around discussing the value of various products compared to any others.

It took awhile to get over this. There was a time I wanted to buy my wife a portable dishwasher. Maytag was the brand I knew and therefore wanted. A salesman at Eaton’s (Canadian department store) gave me a lesson in brands. He took me through their mammoth dishwasher selection and showed me a number of brands made by Maytag. He told me to ignore the outer trappings and design, look on the inside. Yes, there were several identical on the inside and on closer inspection the dials and buttons on every one of them were placed in exactly the same place. They had different face designs, but the faces were completely interchangeable.

My wife and I toured a pretzel factory in Pennsylvania and noticed that at the end of the line the same pretzels were being packaged in different brand bags. All were for sale in their gift shop. There was a large price different between the brands that I have just seen come from the same ovens. I was told Andersons were just the baker. Anderson’s was one of the largest pretzel bakeries in the world yet there was no Anderson pretzels sold anywhere. They were sold everywhere — just under different names. There was over a $2.00 price difference amongst the various bags.

No house brands of grocery stores are made them. They taste test various options and choose the best and then suddenly Starbucks make their house brand coffee. What a devious trick.

I did some taste testing for Western Family foods several years back. I was shocked at how many Western Family brands were sitting right next to the company that packages their house brand. Guess which one was always cheaper. The deceptive little devils! Had I known this as a student I would had saved a pile of money.

BLACK FRIDAY

Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving in the United States, is historically one of the busiest retail shopping days of the year. Many consider it the "official" beginning to the holiday season. I call it the official beginning of complete hysteria. Most retailers will open very early and provide massive discounts on a select number and quantity of their products. You must be the first in line and wait all night to get the deal. The opening times vary and are complete insanity. Just tonight TV commercials reported stores opening at midnight, 3:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., 5:00 a.m., 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m. One store (I cannot remember which is opening Thanksgiving Day at 4:00 p.m. Others will be open most of the day. Soon we will have to cancel Thanksgiving so as not to interfere with the Black Friday sales.

Although Black Friday is typically the busiest shopping day of the year in terms of customer traffic, it is not typically the day with the highest sales volume. It is just the craziest day. The highest sales are usually either Christmas Eve or the last Saturday before Christmas.

The origin of the name, "Black Friday" does not come from any color or movie title by the same name. Back in the very olden days when accounting records were kept by hand, red ink indicated financial loss while black ink indicated profit, thus coining the popular fiscal terms of being "in the red," (losing money) or "in the black" (profitable). This term only dates to the 70-s and came into popular use in 2002. I guess they have been struggling all year and in this last month they make it all back and can go home to a good Christmas. Of course, the nest day they have to go back to work and take all the things back again.
Canadians don’t have to deal with all this nonsense and maniacal behaviors, lucky people, then neither so I. I don’t receive the 10 pounds of newspaper ads on Thursday so don’t wade through them. I have no reason to head out in the middle of the night to shop. Sanity and safety is more important to me than standing in a line for two hours to save a few dollars. Besides, I can’t stand that long any more.

No, I will sleep in. I will roll over about 7:00 a.m., shut my eyes again and go back to sleep. I’m in not hurry. My Christmas shopping is done. I did it last month. A habit I picked up from my wife.

LINES

I am tired of lines. I’m even more tired of being in lines behind talkers and women from another world. I don’t care if it’s a grocery store, bank or art supply store. I don’t want to be behind anyone who is personal friends with the cashier, working on dating them or becoming their best friend. All I want to do is pay for my things and leave. My patience had never been terrific and it almost disappears in lines. Haven’t they learned anything about lines from their trip to Disneyland? Keep it moving.

The talkers have their elbows on the counter are laughing and smiling and having a grand old time. They never once turn to see the crowd developing behind them. In this case I also blame the cashier. They see the line building and refuse to do a thing about it. They would be fired at Disneyland. They could tell their friend about the about the person in line who appears to be fainting because of how long they have been in the line. Then there might be understanding. But that never happens. Both of them are oblivious to anything but their own conversation. If the customer pulls out pictures of any kind, I am going to scream. When they get to the list of their relatives and how each is doing I want to tackle them out of the way. Can’t they see that steam is coming out of the top of my head?

While the talkers are the worst, the daydreamers are right up there at the top. These are the people who have no idea they will ever be asked to pay for their purchase. They watch the cashier total everything or stare off into space, see it all completely bagged and wait until the total is announced before they even begin looking for how they will pay. These are usually the women from another world. They carry purses that have everything in them including the kitchen sink. They have to unpack their suitcase and begin to look like they are preparing for a strip search to find the missing wallet or check book.

If they are paying with cash, they are going with pay with the exact amount down to the very penny. That means dumping their coins onto the counter and counting it at least twice to make sure it is correct. When the customer has completed the process of counting it out. The cashier takes over. Thankfully, she is somewhat faster.

The ones paying with their credit card are just as bad. Am I the only ones who keep my cards to a minimum? Has it not occurred to them to begin the search for the elusive card before they even left home? Is it really necessary to have a choice of 30-50 different cards? Do they not know they need both a stores discount card and a credit card? Do they not know they can’t use Safeway’s discount card at Albertsons? Don’t they know that it is the after work rush and every till is open and has a line down every aisle? Are they blind? Have they ever thought ahead about anything in their lives? Get a move on it and get out.

But the absolute worse line stopper is the one who will pay by check. They need to go to a remedial course on paying by check. I look forward to the day checks are gone for good. Find the checkbook while the cashier is checking through your items. Fill out the date, the name of the store and sign it while you are waiting. How hard is that? Do you know haw annoying you are? Do you have any idea what those behind you in line think of you? Have you completely given up being concerned about other people’s opinion of you? Maybe you have. Then think about this. Care about those behind you. Care about what you are doing with other people’s time. Care about the tantrum I am about to have. Care about the names I am about to call you. Care about the scene I am going to create because I blame you for my complete breakdown.

All right. I admit I am a very self-controlled human being. But I have bad thoughts and they are about you and your self-centered ignorant ways. You are a selfish, thoughtless sub human being and I would scream and yell and make a humongous scene if I weren’t the only one in the line that isn’t in a hurry to go anywhere. I’m retired and have all the time in the world. You are lucky I am the one right behind you. Now, just move along and get out of my way.