THE SEARCH FOR A NEW COMPUTER

I don’t think my computer is long for this world. It works — sorta, but it is acting up as bad as a two year old.

I have always been a Mac guy. When I got started with computers I visited a number of stores to try and get a feel for what a computer really was and what it did. More importantly, how did it work and could I work it. You would have thought I crossed the border into some foreign country. I could not understand the language and did not have a book to help me translate. I asked several times if they spoke English and all assured me they did, but then they would launch into this gobble-di-gook that had no relation to the language I knew and understood. It was even worse when they would have me sit in front of a computer and follow the steps as they attempted to explain them. Where is my sledgehammer?

I have never been good with foreign languages and it didn’t take me long to decide I did not have time to return to school and learn this new forked tongue. Frankly, I gave up on computers.

Jim Sellers was pastor of the Portland church at the time and served on the district board. He kept saying, try a Macintosh. Finally he convinced the board to let him get one and bring it in for us to try. He could not have arrived at a worse time. We were working on our district newsletter. We did it the old fashioned way with scissors and glue. Good old cut and paste.

Believe it or not, I took a course in “commercial art” (no called graphic art) at the University of Omaha. My dream was to become an architect, but I thought this would be a great backup plan. I had wanted to be an architect since I was twelve. I bought house plan books while my friend bought comic books. It was OK, I always read their comics. Wouldn’t you know it! I washed out in architecture (but meet a lot of girls in the interior decorating class -only boy in a class of 100). At the same time, the shoe store where I worked asked me to consider management training. If I did, I would have my own store in less than a year in any part of the USA I wanted. Being one who tended to take the path of least resistance, I took that path and abandoned all hope of my eight-year-old dreams.

Obviously God had other plans. Eight months later I left Omaha to experience the great white north — skiing, skating, snowmen, snow forts, etc. I could hardly wait to be in the mountains. Omaha is flat as a pancake.

Omaha is a waffle compared to Saskatchewan. I should have looked that up in some picture book. Every photo I had even seen of Canada included Mountains. I was tricked.

After a few years of confinement in the monastery for the socially ignorant, I went into church work and began using all my U of O training (without extra pay).

I do get off track, don’t I? When Jim brought the Mac in, he sat me down and stayed with me for a couple of days and we produced our Newletter on that little box of a machine. Now having some computer literacy I know I can no longer afford Mac. I want it, but we don’t always get what we want. It’s not fair. Life isn’t fair. Guess what. I have to learn a whole new language AGAIN. I have some better comprehension, but there are too many options. They say, “What components do you require?” How do I know? What can I get that I can move the hundreds of Mac photos and artwork I have on my hard drive and CD’s? Nothing. Huh! You mean it would be like starting all over and rescanning everything? I could not use any of the formats I have saved for future use? WHAT!

So, yes, I am frustrated. I have a couple of speaking engagements coming up and will be able to afford a low-end computer. But I then have to buy programs. At a minimum I need (want) Word and Photoshop. Photoshop will cost more than the computer. I’m stuck. At least I feel stuck. What happened to packing word processing programs with computers?

I am not going to give up. I am reading “Understanding Computers for Seniors”. Helpful. What I really want is for someone to do all the work for me and just tell me what to do. I know that doesn’t work. I’ll keep studying and then find a translator to go shopping with me. I already know that person does not live here. I’ll ask around church.