GRANDSON DAY

Today was grandson day. I loved it as much as he did. Usually he spends the morning with his sisters while mom is at work, but both girls had other activities going on this morning. So I drug myself out of bed at 6:30 this morning to be there at 7:30. I am not normally getting up that early. It is usually a couple of hours later.

It was cooler this morning that I expected. I knew I wasn’t going to need it most of the day, but I should have worn a sweatshirt for the trip. So when I got there I crawled under a blanket for a while and Morgan joined me. He is a wonderfully loving kid and likes snuggling. After mom and the girls left and we launched our own day. He loves Candy Land. I don’t know why, but he has never beaten me and he is anxious to change that. I won the first one to keep my streak alive, but he destroyed me in round two.

I like to play with the Wii. I seem to always get a little exercise so we began with baseball. I have to use this as an excuse, but I hadn’t played for a very long time. He got eight runs off me in the fist inning. When up to bat, I felt like a beginning hitter. I swung to early or too late. When I did it I popped up a foul ball. He skunked me. I ended up with a great big goose egg.

He wanted me to come out and play badminton. I can’t even remember the last time I played badminton. There was no way I could move fast enough to even hit a slow moving birdie. I was doomed. Ten minutes into the running more than I have run since — well, it is so far back I can’t even remember the last time I ran. I had to go sit down. We went in, turned on the TV and began watching The Search for Noah’s Ark on the history channel and I promptly fee asleep. I guess I was only out for about ten minutes. At least that’s what he said.

He jumped in my van and headed for Toys R Us. His birthday is in a couple of weeks so we went to take pictures of toys he likes. I swear there is nothing in that story he does not like. Everything was awesome. But to his credit, we ended up taking pictures of only ten things. He loved doing that and I managed to stay on my feet walking around for an hour. I haven’t done that in awhile. I was happy.

He wore out and we left to McDonalds where we met his dad for lunch. I blew my controlled eating plan to shreds. As they were leaving to return home, he thanked me for a wonderful day. I also enjoyed it. As I was refilling my cup with a second helping of Toot Beer, Another man at the pop machine said, that was nice to hear. He is so polite. He is — always, and I was proud as punch of the good job my daughter was doing raising all the kids. Of course the oldest is a teenager and now had her teenager moments. Yuck.

Later that day my daughter took me shopping to help me get a new pair of shoes. I didn’t was to struggle getting the new ones on. Surprisingly it took about fifteen minutes. I’m not that hard to please.

Whaling Days began today and several of up went across the street to out secret hiding place to watch the fireworks. It was a terrific display tonight with several new ones. I loved the white ones that looked in waterfalls clinging to the dark of the sky and disappearing into a pool behind some bushes.

It was a terrific day and all is well with the world. I will get up tomorrow and go to the parade where my middle granddaughter will ride a unicycle with her class. I still can’t believe they teach that in her PE class. She loves it got her own unicycle for Christmas. She’s a hoot to watch. I guess I can go to bed tonight. I’m very happy.

I GOING TO BEAT YOU TO A PULP

One of our mentally challenged men shares my initials CW. I can usually stand his conversation, but he was something else this morning. Much of his behavior was fairly typical it was just too much. He usually starts his conversations by calling some one by name to try and get their full attention. I was the nig winner today. “You know Clyde, I just wish I could wiggle my nose,” a very common part if his daily speech. He is enamored with Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie.

This morning he was calling Samantha from Bewitched Sam. Few knew whom he was talking about. This agitated him more than usual. He continued to say, “You know, Sam, Sam, Sam!” One of the ladies figured it out and tried to explain it was a TV show. Everyone there should have figured it out since he either wants to twitch his nose or snap his fingers to have his apartment cleaned. We know he won’t use elbow grease.

That was only the beginning. He interrupted four more times with the same thoughts and called my name each time. It was getting hard to focus. He paid no attention to the rest of the conversation. He quickly moved on to explaining the bus schedule by route number ones which ones have changed their stops. Everyone at the table drives their own car. He then moved on to taking about Johnny. Understand now, all his comments were interruptions of an on going conversation of how and why our maintenance man was fired. This interested all of us busybodies. We all wanted CW to just be quiet.

When he brought up Johnny he put me over the edge. I admit my breakdown was somewhat premature. I can usually last longer but he was picking on me and I could not follow the conversation I wanted to follow.

“No one cares about Johnny and his truck. I cannot follow the other conversation. Do you even know that there is another conversation?”

“But Johnny is going to come by with his truck and take me over to Sally Ann (Salvation Army) for lunch. I’m going to ride in the back of the pickup.”

“You are?”

“Do you know that it is illegal to ride in the back of a pickup?"

“Yes, I do so why are you going to ride there?”

“Johnny says it OK.

“Johnny is wrong.”

“He’s going to help me get a girlfriend.”

“CW, could you be quiet awhile so we can have an uninterrupted conversation.”

That comment did not stop a thing. He kept going and going and going. The Energizer bunny! I finally left and believed that was it for the day.

We had our first outdoor BBQ on Thursday night.

In the process of eating, Chas decided to go to the other building it see if anyone was on the dining room. We had been eating there for the past two months. He got half way to the other building when CW jumped out of a chairs and started yelling obscenities and threatening that he was going to beat Chas ass to a pulp. That would be a lot of pulp. Chas is big.

It was clear CW was off his meds. I went to try and get him to stop screaming. He said Chas was interfering with him getting a girlfriend. He was sitting on the porch trying to pick up a passing girl. Fortunately, none were passing. Lucky them!

MARRIAGE

I was thinking about my childhood yesterday and laughing about how things change. Also wondering if there was a story. Not that I want to do anything but write short stories – like in this blog. I doubt I could hold a book together.

Around here I am a confirmed bachelor. This is not prideful (I hope) but that’s heartbreak to more than one woman. That’s just a reality. It has everything to do with the men to women ratio. And even more to do with the number of acceptable men. I suppose this is bragging, pride or stupid, but I am about the most acceptable man here. Admittedly most of the women look for someone who is alive and walks. No very high standards. I guess I surpass the minimum standard.

I make them made because I think its funny. I can’t help myself. I flirt with a fair number of them. They love it and I get a kick out of it. That’s when I feel like I’m in high school. Have fun, enjoy, but don’t touch. And I don’t want to either. I suppose this is a little too romantic, but I have never wanted a woman other than my wife. I know I am free to move on. But I’m also pretty set in my ways. I’m not sure I want my way of life disrupted. When I first moved after Della died, people commented on the house reminding them so much of Della. That’s because I always did the decorating. What the appearance did was remind them of me, but they didn’t know that. I was a workaholic when she passed and I was free to work 7-80 hours a week and totally invest myself in what I was called to do. I liked that.

Scriptures talks about the wife of our youth, and I have though a lot about that. I was 24 and Della 23 when we married. We had no concept of what it took to merge two lived together. We just did it. I have always said we grew up together and we liked what each other liked, or we merged out preferences. We talked about every little thing and came to an agreement on what we liked and how we would live.

We are from a previous generation and held many of the same values as our parents. There was a fairly distinct understanding of male and female roles in marriage. We bought into most of them. I had responsibility for the yard and car; she had responsibility for the house. There were a couple of differences. She insisted that I be part of meal preparation and cleanup. I was sure that was not my job, but relented. I set and cleared the table and helped with the dishes. I also helped with food preparation and did what I was told. It took a while to come to enjoy that.

I was expected to be responsible for household repairs. My dad tried to teach me some of that, but I resisted. I did not like dealing with plumbing, electricity, mechanical things or hammer and saw repairs. Unfortunately, Della’s dad liked that stuff and did it quickly. I had to stew over it, doubt myself and build up courage to tackle most of those things. She was not happy with my delays. I always believed God created repairmen for a purpose — to rescue people like me. The hard part was we rarely had the money to take advantage of people like that. There were times friends helped out. I always felt like I was using them and didn’t like the feeling. It is amazing how much I learned about household care of the years. One of my favorite things about this place is that I can call the repair line and someone else comes and fixes things. Yeah!

I like my life. I am comfortable with who I am and where I am. I have no objection to others getting married at any old age. It’s just not for me. The men here are dull. They hide out and rarely enter into conversations. The raised my value significantly. If I do anything around her it is done with women. I’m fine with that. I would rather be with emotionally healthy women than terrified me. I have no intention of marrying any of them. I have always said that the only woman for me other than the wife I had would be one in her late 90’s, not very healthy, who has not family and is extremely wealthy. Every one deserves a little love and tenderness in their last days. No one seemed to ever think that was funny. I did. That only proves I am weird enough to remain alone to the end. But I’m never really alone. None of us really are.

WHALING DAYS

We’ve had summer – I guess. It reached 82 on Sunday. It’s 56 today. Naturally we aren’t jealous of those of you in 100+ degree weather. No north westerner could handle it. This weekend is our big area celebration – “Whaling Days.” Don’t ask. I have no idea why they call it that. While a whale might be able to make it into our inlet, it is highly unlikely. They do come down into Puget Sound, but it would take a number of turns t find their way into our inlet. However, people say they have made it before.

The event takes place in our little park. It is the nicest park in the area. The advantage of having this event so close is our area gets spruced up at least once a year. Friday night there was an awful roar outside my window. It went on so long I finally got up to see what was happening. It appeared that some country workers had taken a lunch or coffee break in the parking lot across the street and left their piece of machinery running. It was a striper. They were putting down nice fresh yellow lines on the roads leading to the park.

My pastor said it was called Whaling Days because we were suppose to have a whale of a good time. Right! If you like large crowds, traveling carnival rides, overpriced fair food, and no place to sit — it’s perfect. I do admit to enjoying the walking traffic past out building. People watching is wonderful. I do hope it is warm enough to stay on the porch. I’m taking my camera this year.

The Saturday morning parade passes two blocks away. I have to go. My granddaughter is riding her unicycle this year. I will take my chair early and find a shady part — unless it is cold and then I’ll sit in the sun.

There will not be a parking spot in the area. Two of the largest lots are next to our building. The sheriff will park his car outside my window and that street will be blocked. He is usually as bored with his job as the people here are with the event. Most hate the traffic, the noise. I say it is only one weekend – deal with it.

Admittedly when they are still making noise at one or two in the morning, the fun disappears. Two years ago, a group of kids sat at our corner and argued with each other. You know how arguments go – louder and louder until my upstairs neighbor told them she was trying to sleep. They left, but they did not stop arguing.

Out former maintenance man has moved on. He took his last load out this morning. No one knows where he is going or what he is going to do. He has both a brother and a sister in the area. His mother is here from Georgia. He mentioned in the past that he could not stay with his brother. He never said why. While his past and his lies have caught up with him, but I hope he has a place to stay. He is a former drunk. Some ting he has still not given up the bottle. It seems like he has told so many lies he doesn’t know the truth from the stories. He has always confused people because his storied constantly change. He cannot keep them straight. His most laughable habit was to tell is stories or a small group or one person and make them promise they will not tell anyone. Later you would hear him telling another group the same story and asking them to make the same promise. Then he would get made because so many people knew his “secret.” Duh! He probably told them all.

The administration has moved downtown leaving the former office building empty. It sits next to our property. They are trying to sell it to lower their debt. Some bad financial mistakes were made a few years back and they are still trying to get out from under the burden. The building has been for sale for the past two years and the current realtor believes it will sell better if it is empty. Maybe. I think it is not selling because they want too much and the economy here is not that good.

Well, that catches you up with my life. Boring, isn’t it.

MY FAMILY

I pretty well stayed in my apartment today. I did not want to hear any more speculation about Rocky. No one has seen his truck since supper yesterday and they think he has already left. Probably. He had been getting rid of possession for the past few weeks. He could not have had that much left. The game at the moment is trying to determine what he told us that were lies and what might have been the truth – if there was anything.

I spent most of the day curled up with another J. A. Jance book. She writes to my tastes. Excellent mysteries.

I got a call from my niece, Wanda. She lives in Missouri. We don’t talk often, but she calls from time to time. She still is my favorite niece. We are only seven years apart in age. Because I was a surprise baby to my parents, my older siblings were married and having children while I was still a kid. Wanda is not the oldest of the grand kids. The oldest one is only two years younger than I am and one year older than my younger brother. Life is strange.

Wanda’s mother was my favorite sister. She was eighteen years older, but had me over to her place for many weekends when I was still young. They had moved out of town by the time I began high school and those overnight visits stopped.

I have a neat picture my younger brother and me sitting on a pony. There was this man going door-to-door with his pony offering to take photos of kids sitting on his horse. He had hats and chaps and did all he could to make us feel like real cowboys. She paid for that.

Of all my siblings, Doris was the farmer. She always had a small garden and animals when possible. I was in kindergarten when she assigned me to collect the eggs the mornings I was there. I was scared. They would flap their wings and, run around my feet and jump at me. Then there was the rooster. He chased me and pecked at my legs. His peck hurt, but the rooster was the worst. He attacked me every chance he got. If I didn’t have the rooster after me it was the billy goat. He wasn’t a very big goat. He had to lower his head to get me in the rear. He could really make me fly. While I didn’t like him any better than the rooster, his push was more like a shove. Doris said he knew I was little and didn’t want to hurt me. Right.

Doris was the first of my siblings to pass away. She died of a blood clot hitting her heart. She was resting peacefully on the sofa on a Sunday afternoon. I had been married and was living in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when she died. I arrived on the day of the funeral. A gathering after the grace side was held for the family at her home. The reception ended up being a hostile environment. The hostess just happened to be her husband’s mistress. I spent most of my time trying to keep my two older brothers from taking him to the woodshed to beat him to a pulp. I wanted to join them, but not with the kids ages 10-16 around.

Diana, the first born, was the first to run away. She was angry. Her dad married the woman within a month of my sister’s death. The girls hated the idea. She quickly married and has shocked me that she is still married to the same man 46 years later, they have thirteen children. Wanda was next. It took three years before she ran, but by that time came she no longer hated the new wife. She just didn’t want to be around any longer. She got pregnant; married had the baby and got divorced. Seems like she has been living with different men ever since.

My sister was a godly woman and greatly influenced her children. She married the son of a minister, but not a godly man apparently. They all stopped going to church. Wanda often calls me for clarification of something she read in the Bible. She continues to seek God, but is wandering.

I have ached for this family since my sister died in 1968. My sister’s dreams for her children were shattered.

THEY COME, THEY GO

I feel swamped. It seems like I have been talking nonstop with people since Wednesday morning, maybe even since Monday evening.

Chas had a meeting with the administration Tuesday morning. He was frightened it had something to do with the last residents meeting when he got into it with Rocky. One of our mentally challenged men was trying to talk to Rocky in the course of the meeting. While it is true that he rarely makes sense and is always off topic, he did have the attention of Rocky. Chas was very annoyed so he interrupted to put his two cents in which included a subtle put down of our friend. Rocky addressed Chas and clarified that he had interrupted. Good ole’ Chas pulled his “I’m hurt stunt” and wheeled out of the room to one on the side where he could hear what was going on, but was hard to see. That was Gail’s view of the story, and a couple of others.

Knowing he was called in by the administration, Chas visited me on Monday night to tell me about the meeting and get his fears off his chest. Now while I had heard about the residents meeting, I wasn’t there. I had a doctor’s appointment. So I backed the story up to get his point of view. It was certainly different than what I had been hearing. He felt like he had simply asked a questioned and Rocky would not let him talk. I asked if anything else was happening at the time of your question. Nothing, he said. Were others talking? No. Why did you think he shut you down? I don’t know. It didn’t make sense.

I could not get him to acknowledge any responsibility on his part. He was innocent. But he wasn’t.

He had the meeting on Tuesday and I was busy working on the August newsletter so I could meet today’s deadline. That night I confirmed the story with Gail. I was concerned that he had plans to lie to the administration.

Wednesday morning I skipped coffee to work on the newsletter when the lady across the hall from Chas knocked on my door. I could see she was distressed before she said how upset she was. Do you want to talk about it? Yes. Have a seat. What did you think about the letter we got this morning? What letter? The one taped to our door. I haven’t been out so have not seen the letter. She retrieved the letter and I read that Rocky was no longer employed at The Home effective immediately. It was blunt, to the point and (to my eyes) looked like he had been fired.

She was crushed. In her way of seeing things he was the only one who would stand up to her archenemy and put her in her place. I will agree with that. Why is he leaving? That was an absurd question to put to me. How would I know? It looked like he was fired, but I wasn’t going to pass that on. I listened and tried to explain things in as tender a way as I could. I did not want to rile her up. He is having health problems, he is not able to work 40 hours a week, maybe he was being going to jail for the on going court case he was facing. It was all speculation.

I got a call while she was talking and put it off until afternoon. The woman in my apartment needs lots of encouragement and support. I knew if I could not get her calmed down she would fly off the handle and say things she would regret to anyone in hearing distance. She liked the guy while others did not. No one knew why we were getting the letter and we likely never will.

Rockys' sudden departure was the talk of the buildings. Apparently he began work Wednesday morning (getting ready to paint) was taken into the office by his immediate boss and never returned to work. We had the note within minutes of that little talk.

OK, I admit I am interesting in the scuttlebutt. I hung around open spaces to see if anyone actually knew anything. No one seemed to suspect he had been fired. Shortly before noon on Thursday I saw Chas. Gail and I were upstairs working on her life story for the newsletter. I do a profile story on a resident each month.

It was obvious Chas wanted to talk. Gail excused herself to go get something to eat and Chas let go. Do you think anything I said caused his departure? You mean you think he was fired? Yes. What did you say?

He repeated the Resident meeting conflict so I asked if everything he said was correct and he said yes. I confronted that and told him what I knew. He then acknowledged that he had interrupted. Rocky and Chas have the same cleaning lady. Apparently Rocky asked the woman’s 18-year-old daughter to total his truck. He would pay her $600. He wanted the insurance money and the payments topped. He mentioned that and that his mother was here. Both were unknown to the administration. Who knows what else he said or how true it all was. He was mad and wanted the bosses to know he was mad.

So did he have anything to do with the departure? Maybe. I wasn’t about to let him off the hook completely since he was speaking out of anger and may have lied about some, most or even all of the stories he passed along. Anyway, Rocky no longer works here. Speculation continues. I just finished the newsletter and got it off. Chas has some guilt but will not acknowledge that nay have helped that along. There were other issues and they have been building. Something he may have said may have pushed the decision over the line, but he never started the man’s problems.

DIETICIAN, CHURCH, COMMITTEES, DEPARTURES

I had an appointment with a dietician on Monday and came away convinced that I should to do this at least every other year. Everything I knew about managing diabetes has changed. Go figure. I have always watched sugar. Admittedly there were times I could have cared less, but now I am supposed to count crabs. Ugh? I didn't even know how to do that. And I got away without asking how many crabs I should have.

So she tells me - sugar is not the issue if I don’t get carried away. Keep the count low, but some sugar is acceptable. Who knew? You have no idea how happy that made me. I went right home and have 1/2 gallon of ice cream. No I didn't that was a joke.

I also learned that I am taking four medications for diabetes and that can be reduced to one that I only take once a day instead of twice a day. I would be way more consistent just taking things in the morning. I never knew I was to take my insulin every eight hours. I was told take them morning and night. So I have taken them when I get up and when I go to bed. No wonder my morning numbers are always good.

Anyway, I learned a lot and since we are taking this with one direction at a time (think instructing 2 year olds) I believe I can manage it. So besides counting crabs, she wants me to eat vegetables everyday. I don't hate veggies; I just don't eat them very often. After my heart attack I was warned so often with so many threats I became fearful of leafy greens. Watch that vitamin K. I have never even heard of that one before let along knowing that since I have heart problems it could kill me. Maybe that is an over statement. But rather than being inconsistent, I just gave them up all together. No, no, no! She said. If I eat only occasionally, just don't eat too much. That's good. I actually like broccoli. I know that is not leafy, but it was on the list. Boy I hate lists.

Anyway, we will see what happens. I just got tired of losing my mobility and with the addition of serious hip problems I cannot longer manage the weight. It has got to go. Yes, it will take a long time. I just hope I can stay on track.

I went to a church meeting last night to hear about a vision and passion the pastor has to take over another church in another town and nurture it to health. Admittedly that was something I promised myself I would never do again. I can’t even begin to tell you how tired of was of church meetings and committees. The eleventh commandment should be "Thou shalt not committee." Most would not agree with me, but I am much more fond of a benevolent dictator. I am more than willing to listen to what others want, but leave me alone to make the decision. The administration at The Home felt like we should have an activities committee here and they wanted me to chair the committee. A committee may be a very good idea, but I told them in no uncertain terms that I did not want to have any part of a committee. I even encouraged them to do it, but begged off the committee. That is almost a year ago and nothing has happened. I guess they like it the way it is.

The church meeting was fine. I had my say and since I am not a member, I will have no say in the final decision. I am fine about that. Besides, there is no real opposition and it is just a matter of time before it happens. More power to them. He has the greatest family. He has is very involved and active wife have four adult married children. They are all-musical and pay multiple instruments. The family could run (and do) a powerful and terrific music ministry anywhere. Besides the three services they do at our church, they all plan to help dad start this other church and therefore will add a fourth service that will be in another town. They are also doing at least three satellite home churches. They already broadcast three live services as well as record them for future use and three other locations have picked up the feed and started home churches that they want to grow into bigger churches. It's a very interesting concept. Only time will tell. But this all comes from the pastor. Very creative!

Got interrupted by visitors wanting to discuss a staff change. We had notices on out doors today announcing that our maintenance man no longer works for The Home and that he will be moved out within the next seven days. That seems abrupt. Naturally that kicked off the tumor mill. It is operating hot and heavy. This one lasted nine months. The last one was six months and we were one year between each of them. Yeah! We get to be without again. Critical needs are handles by their roaming crew. But there will be lots that will not be done. This will divide The Home once again. Some will rejoice, others will cry. A couple of witches will gloat and take credit for his departure. Yuck!

Because he is done today and we just got the note today the strong speculation is that he was fired. Could be. We will likely never know the truth. He has both health and legal problems and has been unable to put in a full days work for several weeks. He says the termination is mutual. I hope so. He also has legal problems that he fears may put him in jail. That may also be happening. He was previously told that he would be terminated if he goes to jail. They cannot keep someone on the payroll that will not be able to do the work. Again no one knows, but the rumors with authority are already being shared. I have hand one visit and one call. There actually is one more leaving at the end of the month, the top dog is moving on to another job. She has been the heavy hand. There will be rejoicing in her departure. Too bad! She actually accomplished her job - Get this company back on a solid financial ground. She is off to do that for another company.

One of the few things we always have with us is change. Things they are a changing. We all might as well adjust.

IT'S ONLY 3%

I am not averse to living on a tighter budget. I know I can do it. I still have money to eat out a couple times a month, see a movie, or buy a little something extra. I don’t feel poor or deprived. I have never believed life was fair or even that it should be fair. And I do not want to see something taken from one and given to another just to even the score. In other words, I do not hold to the political philosophy of an even distribution of wealth. I actually hold to a much more Biblical approach of meeting the needs of people.

I’m not sure when the government originally decided to take care of us all. I seems that a fair amount of it came to pass in the 30’s and 40’s. But whenever it happened, they have us now. We are told that Social Security was never meant to care for us in our old age. At least that is what they are saying today. But that is not my memory of what was said when I wanted to opt out of the program back in the 60’s.

I am not going to go back and whine about all their promises. I have done plenty of that and will likely do it again. But not today!

What I struggle with is the wealthy making the decision that I should receive less to help meet the national budget. Like I said, I am certainly willing to do without a little more. What I do want is for them to make the same decision for themselves. Today’s headlines suggest that congress is considering lowing seniors income by 3%. It’s not as clearly marked as that. They have some fancy bookwork to make it look better than that, but that is all gobbled gook. Since they have little doubt that we can manage on so much less, what reduction are they planning for themselves? The answer is none.

Two years ago when they decided to freeze Social Security for two years, congress voted them an increase in their pay. They needed more money. I don’t know why? They already have a pile of freebees including health care. I would do a lot better with free health care, but there are way to many of us. Health care is not for everyone. Got it.

Look gang, we made a very big mistake in the 40’s and 50’s. Too many of us decided to be born around the same time and now we are paying the price. Certainly our loving and kindly national leaders would never have mismanaged “our” money or borrowed from “our” fund to finance a teapot museum that was a dream of some local yokel. Neither would our benevolent leaders think of giving money to some enemy country while their own people were hurting. God bless you Pakistan. They love us way too much.

If you need my money take it. I might as well say that since you will do as you want anyway, but ask yourselves not what your senior citizens can do for you, but what can you also give up. And no, I will not vote for you again. It is not always some others states congressional leaders, it is each of our states.

AGING CAN BE THE PITS

I met with my doctor for the second time this week. The first meeting was a general check up on my diabetes and heart condition. Then I added some extra concerns concerns. I asked for a referral to a dietician. I have attended five classes on eating the right food. I did pretty well the first couple of classes. I learned to cook after my wife’s passing and enjoyed cooking when there were others to cook for. When I had the proctor kids they had no idea they were eating healthy. I also had a YMCA membership at the time and took my boys there to play for a couple of hours three times a week. I didn’t waste my time. I worked out and played racquetball even teaching some of the boys. I also walked the track. Running seemed to hurt my leg.

I suppose you wonder why I could play racquetball and not be able to run. If you didn’t wonder, you should have. As you get older and experienced, you play smarter. I ran some in racquetball, but in short spurts. I learned to play the middle and calculate each attempt for the ball as get or miss. I learned to let the ones I knew was going to miss and not waste my energy. Because I usually played younger guys, they went for everything and were often pretty beat up and exhausted by the end of the game. My only attempt at rubbing it in was “Do you want to go again?”

Besides the dietician I asked about the problems with my hip. I was having a hard time walking and experiencing increasingly great pain. He sent me for x-rays.

Today I learned the results. I know you think all old people do is talk about their diseases and compare mediation. Now you know that is actually true. But we also spend time complaining about the government and their plans to build furnaces for a quick retirement plan. Bad joke. I admit it and also in very poor taste, but it got a very big laugh a The Home.

Well I have osteoarthritis arthritis in both hips, but the worst is in the right hip. The cartilage is nearly gone and I am close to walking bone on bone. He confirmed what I already knew — I also have it in my lower back. It makes bending over a chore. I feel fatter than I am. Not true. I feel fat.

We always have multiple ways to respond to any situation. I went to grab a bite to eat and think and pray. I decided I have handled far worse things than this. I considered the options presented and rejected one – therapy. He said it would help. I said I could never afford it. Medicare pays very little for therapy. That would be a long-term commitment and more than I could handle. I then thought, this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice in it. And I would work the other suggestions.

I came home barbecued for our Thursday night BBQ – had a sausage dog and some ice tea. Cleaned up the grill, came home, got out my bag of cherries, dug into my book picked away at twelve of those magnificent juicy things, checked my blood sugar a couple of hours later and it was the highest it has ever been 267. I was somewhat shocked, so did it again and it came down only ten points. But I ended my night by saying. “I loved those cherries.” This too will pass,

THE END OF THE WORLD

“President Obama warned Tuesday that retirees might not receive their Social Security checks next month if lawmakers fail to reach an agreement on how to reduce the federal debt.

"I cannot guarantee that those checks go out on Aug. 3rd if we haven't resolved this issue. Because there may simply not be the money in the coffers to do it," Obama told CBS's Scott Pelley in an interview set to air tonight on the CBS Evening News.”

Surprise, surprise! The president can’t get his recommendation for the budget increase so someone must be threatened. This time he did not threaten teachers, law enforcement or the firemen so why not go after the old people. What are they going to do anyway — riot? March down the street naked? (Please, no!). Why doesn’t he ever threaten congress? Why not threaten all the uppity ups that protected themselves from not getting paid. No — go after us. After all, who does that effect?

Here are a few who will suffer. Senior housing. If we don’t get paid, we cannot pay our rent or mortgage. We may also be unable to pay utilities, their phones, or buy groceries. I suppose it can be argued that we don’t need electricity. Have you ever been around the odor of old people? We are decaying, rotting. Add to that dirt the unwashed to decay and rot of aging. Not a pretty smell. Notice there are no perfumes recreating that smell. We need hot water.

The entire healthcare industry would take a hit. We would not be able pay the doctors, hospitals, or any of those to whom we are referred. Then they cannot pay for their BMW’s or country club fees. That would lead to expensive restaurants with less customers and cooks, bus boys and dishwashers being unemployed. You think unemployment is bad now. Wait until the unemployed, low wage earners supporting the senior’s population will look for jobs. Ten percent unemployment will be a drop in the bucket. Make that 20% unemployment (just a wild guess).

Yes, some of that money starts with the government, but unlike many others, very little of our money goes into savings. All of our money goes into survival. Our survival pumps a large part of the economy. Withhold money from us and the economy may completely collapse. Do you see where this is going? The world may come to an end. The end will no longer be October 22; it will be August 3 when we can no longer pay our bills.

Not to be overly dramatic, but if we can’t pay our bills, even the little we do pay, the entire world will come to an end. It will take time of course, Maybe October 22 is the right date for the end of the world. I hope it isn’t August 3. I have a drawing I am trying to complete and I know I cannot finish it by August 3rd.

POLICE WERE HERE

Friday night around 4:00 am there were two police cars sitting in our front circle with their lights flashing. They did not arrive with sirens blaring. Who knows what that could mean? We have often seen them in the mall across the street with one cap in our circle. They have stopped there to confer in the past. When Gail asked me on Saturday morning when I went to do my laundry if I knew anything about them. Her and I rarely know what goes on at the other end of the building in the middle of the night. We are too far away.

Some speculation was brandish around but it was all guesses. We gave that up and worked on the puzzle while my laundry was going. I later when back to my apartment, fished the book I was reading and fell asleep. There was still a trace of whatever I had still hanging on.

Gail showed back up about 5:30 and asked if I had supper yet. I had not. She had some lamb and wanted to share it. She had got it at the food back. In fact, several of us made a big haul at the food Bank on Friday. They had so much they were almost pushing in on us. We have a new Trader Joes in town and they passed a great deal along to the food bank. I was so shocked that I called a few people who had not yet made their monthly trip and told them to drop everything and go now. We are typically allowed to eats and this is the first time they ever gave us five meats. When they opened the freezers for me to choose the freezers were packed and I was told the back up freezers in the back were just as full. Most of his had come from Trader Joes. The selection was incredible.

When Gail returned with the lamb cooked to perfection, I had fixed some potatoes and vegetables to go with it and was looking forward to the meal. She stat down to talk awhile and told me she had called our walking talking newspaper to see what she knew but the police cars from last night. Our gossip in residence believed they were inside her building to go through one of the mentally challenged residents apartments. She was pretty sure they were looking for pornography.

I’m sorry. But I nearly came unglued at that point and asked what does she mean by saying “I am pretty sure.” She had better be dark sure if she is going to pass that little piece of gossip around. This man has enough difficulty fitting in here without a vicious rumor like that floating around if it is not true. She knows he has lots of videotapes in his apartment. He says he does. He has collected old TV shows of I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched, and many more. He talks often about having his own personal genie. What he says and what she says are contradictory. People have seen stacks of videos and he often comes back after a day out with bags full of things. No one is sure what is in those bags or the title of any of his videos.

The only pornography they would have come after him for would be child pornography and primarily only if he were using the US mail to buy and sell. Whatever they did and why ever they were hear, the man is still here and the gossip is going around. Much of the gossip here rarely does serious damage, but this is destructive. To the best of my knowledge no one really even knows if the police were in the building.

This man is already disliked. This will have him shunned and get letters written to the office to move him out of the building. There was a man who lived her a few years ago who bought and sold child porn on the Internet. His apartment was raided and he was taken to jail immediately. No one every saw him again.

So far, I have only had the opportunity to tell two people to keep their mouth shit unless they know these rumors are true. They will destroy a man’s life.

Then this morning in church our family life pastor resigned. When he learned he was not going to be recommended for a senior pastor position, he quit. He makes a wonderful assistant, but should never be the lead pastor. He just doesn't have the skills. I suspect he will go looking for a pastoral job, but it's not a good idea.

IT WENT DOWN HILL

We’ve all had them. They are unavoidable. You know, those days when it feels like everything is happening at once. Friday was the heaviest, but it has continued through today and I hope it has ended — at least for a while. I was sick Thursday night and that kept me running to the bathroom so often I was considering making my bed up in the tub. Since I was up so often I read off an on and it was after 5:00 a.m. when I finally completely dropped off. I know there was some dozing before that.

Thursday began with the ranting of Rocky. He is feeling so put out by the residents who knock on his door whenever they need anything instead of going through channels. They are expected to call in their requests so the office can track them. He was so angry with a couple of residents that he changed his personal phone number and doesn’t want anyone calling him. He is monitoring his personal calls and not taking any from residents and he is not answering his door. Chas is the worst. He calls him at least twice a day about every little thing, even the rumors he hears.

He no sooner left before some residents were thinking it was time to set up a pool to guess his potential departure. We all know the job sucks, but he makes it worse. He was so pleased to get the job and said loud and often that he just wanted to help seniors, but that passion has gone. He hates (maybe too strong — dislikes many of our wonderful people).

The debate was back on about how we are going to pay our rent. I have no idea why a few people are so worked up about this. It comes up every few days and is brought up by the same people. There is no way we will get to August without clear instructions. No business forgets to collect their money due. But that discussion went on for 40 minutes or so. I have tried to shut that down so often I just let them go on and read the paper while they debated the subject.

I took Maria to get her medication and had some errands to run while we were in the area. I haven’t hung out with her in quite awhile. I don’t know why I offered on Friday. It will never happen again. I asked if she wanted to come. She certainly did. I got some cash from the bank, no problem. I needed ink for my computer. She went to the store next door. When she got in my van she took my bag, looked for the receipt and berated me for the cost of the ink like I could change that. I came close to throwing her out on her ear.

Next we went to Target. I had a small gift certificate and I had a certain jar opener I wanted to buy. I need help with some jars. She said she had to get some things herself. Rather than doing her thing she followed me. I was ahead of her and didn’t notice until she called to me that I was going the wrong way. So I pointed to the Kitchen Wares sign in front of me and asked what that was, then told her that because of the expansion in the food department, may things have been moved around. When we got to the gadgets she crowded in front of me making it hard to see. I swept along the shelving and announced they did not have it. She wanted to keep looking. She would not stop. I called for assistance to convince her they didn’t have it. She argued with the sales clerk until I just walked away.

I also wanted to go to Barnes and Noble across the street. I barely walked in and immediately felt ill. She went to the store next door. I went back to my van to read my book. When she came back, she had bought a jar opener like I wanted. I should have been happy, but instead I was annoyed. I managed to keep that feeling to myself. I would have been less upset if it were a gift. It wasn’t. Fork over the money! I hate lime green.

She hounded me about what was wrong and at that point I didn’t know. She wanted to play doctor, but I was not taking my clothes off (a little joke).

I went home and progressively got worse. I lay down and slept. After I ate supper the runs began and went all night. There were times I would just get up, leave the bathroom and need to return immediately. I was exhausted and my rear end was raw. Yeah. I also thought that was funny. Ha, ha.

I was not hungry for breakfast so just watched some news and fell asleep in my chair. When I woke up I went to bed. I felt better about 4:00 so went to the puzzle room to see who was there. Gale was hot to trot because of her cable bill. Did you get this letter from Wave? I don’t know. Haven’t picked up my mail yet. They are dropping seven stations but not the price (who’s surprised). I could not understand, as it seemed like we had the same coverage. I was paying a couple dollars less and had the digital box she did not. My bill should have been higher — I thought. It was the old deflation of the American language trick. Bump in a new meaning to an old world and reduce the value. I don’t know if any remember the first cup size change at fast food places. Small medium and large became medium, large and extra-large with no change in cup size. Very tricky! However, the plan has worked. We now by 64 oz. Big Gulps and drink it ourselves. When I was a kid (don’t you love it when old people start with that phrase) pop (soda) came in 6 oz. bottles. I was satisfied. Maybe that was because of lack of choice.

Tomorrow I will write about the big issue from Friday night. The cops were here at 4:00 a.m. with their lights flashing.

UP TO DATE

It was movie morning with the two youngest grand kids again today. It will be every movie day every Wednesday for the rest of the summer. Tale of Despereaux was on our plate. Being the cheap grandfather that I am. These are $1 movies at Regal (summer schedule only). Gracie brought her own money and planned to spring for some candy, but the price even shocked her. So I also coughed up the cash for the candy. I’m a soft touch for these kids. I lost track of how many times Morgan told me “I love this movie” as he sat beside me. Love is a strong word, but I liked it.

The drive time discussion on the way to the movie was about driving a car. Ten year old Morgan is the most anxious to drive. He can hardly wait. I did all I could to explain to him how expensive a car is, but he could care less. His dad will pay. Probably. He plans to just drive around. I’m glad I’m not the parent. I could never afford the car insurance with three teen drivers.

Went over for the Bingo lunch at 3:30. They usually have a wonderful homemade soup. They did today, but they also had a wonderful fruit salad. I pigged out on the fruit and passed on the soup. The pineapple was exceptionally sweet. After the snack I told the caller that I was going to play the next game and I would pay for my cards if I won. Would believe the crowd booed me? What were they thinking? And I know this will be harder even harder to believe, but I actually won. I got my Bingo seven calls before anyone else. I screamed Bingo, got up and jumped up and down and was booed again. They hate me. They also wanted proof that I had paid. And since I had not paid they would not declare me the winner. Spoiled sports. Go figure.

We were told the new washer and dryers would be delivered today. We have only waited sin May 13^th. Yes, they did arrive — 5:30 p.m. They look great. They are going to cost more per load, but each machine holds larger loads. Hope it’s as great as it looks. There was no timer on our old machines. You kind of had to guess when it would all be done. Everything is now up to date in The Home. Well, not everything. These have digital timers. Yeah! Sorry. Guess I should not get too excited about a washer and dryer, but frankly and with great sincerity, the old ones were awful. Maybe these will actually clean your clothes. That would be different. Maybe clothes will actually get dry in one cycle. Another innovation. Wow!

THE DAY AFTER

Today appears to be the calm after the storm. I heard nothing about any serious destruction so I guess the major targets were all missed. Pt. Orchard is still standing, the Naval ships are still floating and I fell asleep during the bombing. I guess that wasn’t the great apocalypse. Hang on, Never fear some fanatic will project a new date for the end of the world. I believe the next declaration is for October 22. I doubt I will hold my breath.

The complaining at the BBQ began last night and I will soon go to coffee and will hear the continuation of the whining. Too many people are looking at the splinters in others and missing the logs in their own eyes. The biggest beef, as usual, was over the amount of food eaten by our two mentally challenged men. Exhausting. Leave them alone. Who cares! There seems to always be plenty of food and there certainly was plenty yesterday.

But that’s only the standard complaints. A few women sat at a table located in the sun and slightly apart from the porch. All the others sat on the porch in the shade. They were called isolationists, separatists, and anti-social. In reality a couple of them were cold. Leave them alone. One of them did not want to be near a particularly loud loudmouth.

OK, there may be some legitimacy about this next one. One lady came with several empty snap lid containers that she filled before leaving. She just worked her way down the smorgasbord table and filled her five containers for future meals (or a later snack). Having watched this woman fill up her plates (yes plural) at other potlucks I know she can put away more than anyone else here. The indignation of the observers reached monumental proportions. I’m sure I was told about it with the hope, or belief, that I should do something about it. My response is, “have you asked her about the practice?” The answer is always no. Maybe she has a good reason. There is no reason for that. Maybe she would take that clarification from you. That usually causes them to walk away.

We seem to always have more food than we need. Why should I care what three or four people eat or take away from the meal? Who am I — the food monitor?

I just returned from coffee. There was no more complaining about the people at yesterdays BBQ.

There are days I love what happens there. Rocky (maintenance man) joined us this morning and announced that if we are going to do laundry (that is in our building) we needed to do it today and not tomorrow since they are going to change out the washing machines tomorrow. I have a rotten side that I enjoy letting out to breath at times. This morning was one of those times.

So I say, Are you saying that because there will be no machines in the laundry room tomorrow that we should not try to do your laundry tomorrow? Well, there won’t be any machines. So I guess the answer to my question is yes. Yes, I cannot do laundry or no, I cannot do laundry. Which is it? That caused him to explain it all again. Now let me clarify this just to be sure. No laundry on Wednesday. That’s right. But what if I need to do laundry on Wednesday. Then get a rock and go to the stream and pound them out and use a scrub board. Will the Housing Authority be providing the scrub boards with clear instructions on how to use them including the potential dangers and possible side effects? Oh Lord, take me out of here now. I can’t take any more of this. Does that mean you will be going to the creek and should I come now for instructions? At that point he threw his hands up, got up and left. That was a good thing as I had way more questions to ask.

BOMBS BURSTING IN AIR

There are no official firework displays in our general area this Fourth of July. Out town has scheduled them during Whaling Days. That will occur in three to four weeks. But not having an official fireworks display does not mean there are no fireworks. Tonight in our area we began to see what Francis Scott Keys saw when he penned the words to the Start Spangled Banner. We live at the end of an inlet. Our neighbors are out in force shooting fireworks as big as any community display. Because of the reverberation off the water and the huge number of explosions going on it not only looks like a war if smells and sounds like a war. There are very large pockets of smoke all over the area.

There are three or four groups who have taken over our little park and are shooting very large displays out over the bay. These appear to be the largest in the area but we may only feel that way because they are the closest to us. So much is going off that the air is white with the smell of sulfur. I’m not exactly sure of the length of our inlet but I would guess it to be about 20 miles. It looks like the length and width of the beach are being destroyed. There is another round of re-enforcements a hundred feet or so up the hill behind the troops on the beach. More are located on top of the hill. You can see the explosions over the hill on all sides. The Navel base is located to the south over a hill and it looks like they are under extremely serious attack. There are so many explosions on that side that I will be surprised if any ships are left floating. We can see the explosions at Pt. Orchard across the bay from the navel base. They appear to be nearly smashed to smithereens. I expect nothing but ashes tomorrow. I hope some area paper will be published tomorrow and I can read about the horrid destruction of the entire area. I really don’t care that much for Pt. Orchard.

The bombing began around 9:00. A few of us walked across the street to the restaurants dock to watch and try to determine where all the shooting was coming from and about how many troops there are. I suspect there are hundreds. You can see the bombs bursting in air in every direction. The attacks at the park were the closest to us. I feel safe here. It is 11:00 and the explosions seem to be dying down. I do not know if I will feel really safe until the fighting completely stops, but I suspect there will be minor skirmishes throughout the night. If they are at a great distance, I may be able to sleep.

It was warm here today, but the night is cool. I could see fires around the beach where troops were warming themselves drinking hot chocolate and eating Smore’s. Between the bombing, the troops are quiet. I suppose it takes time to reload the cannons and muskets. There are machine guns and AK47’s these days, but they do not sound like there are being used. I guess this is a more civil war, or a more independent war.

British are coming, the British are coming. Two to be exact. Prince William and Princess Kate will be in California later this week. I expect they will see parts of the war, especially if they visit Disneyland. They are bombed every night at 10:00. I recommend the Fantasmic show before the rockets red glare begins. It is beautiful and unique how they show movies on water spray. I believe this is a distraction to make you feel good before they start shooting. There is also the parade with all the Disney princesses. That will make Kate feel right at home. Maybe they can have tea together,

Well, like Paul Revere said, or was that Longfellow writing about Paul's deed of being a messenger to the boys in Lexington and Concord during his midnight ride — The British are coming. I hope they have a nice time. I loved their wedding. And are you just dying to know what Kate is wearing and who the designers are? Me either.

HAPPY FOURTH

I missed an announcement for Canada Day so I included the red in white in this post to make up for it. OK, bad joke. It's a fully day here and the sun is shining and is looks to be a beautiful day. Yeah. We haven't had a lot of those. The saying goes that the rain ends on July 4 and starts again on Labor Day (first Monday of September). I hope not, but I'm glad it is turning nice.

Have a wonderful day. The Eagle sure beats Benjamin Franklins suggestion doe a national bird — A turkey. What a turkey.

WHICH DAY IS IT

Have you ever made a mistake and argued that you did not make the mistake only to have it clearly pointed out to you that it looks like mistake? Did that make sense? Well I think I just did. Of course, I didn’t make the mistake everyone thinks I did make, but I will admit it looks like a mistake — or at least it looks confusing. There’s a simple explanation — I believe.

I design the monthly calendar in color but the residents get it in black and white. The only calendar printed in color is posted on the bulleting boards. I was expecting to be with my family on July Fourth. On Wednesday they called to change the date for our BBQ to Sunday.

We have traditionally had a BBQ on the fourth at The Home, but it seems like it cannot happen without me. You see I’m as very important person around The Home. I started the BBQ a couple of years back but when I announced that I would not be here people were stunned. They didn’t know what to do. The Home was in total mass confusion. Some predicted the end of the world. I, on the other hand, told them they could go ahead without me. That was unbelievable. People said it was impossible. It could not happen, No one else could do it but me. What were they going to do? How would they survive? Did I really expect them to sit around on the porch and twiddle their thumbs?

Well, no — I expected someone to say they would pull the BBQ out of the garage and turn it on and do the cooking or at a minimum make it possible for everyone to cook their own. No. Never. Only the great BBQ guru could possibly cook for 30-35 people. I appreciate the honor and the sentiments and while I agree with their sentiments, I had serious doubts that I was the only one who could do it. On the other hand, maybe… No, impossible.

When my daughter changed the date, I was available to rescue The Home from a barbecueless Fourth of July. But now I was pressed for time. The newsletter was finished and I needed to get the announcement in and sent it to the office for printing. In my opinion (and that is the only one that really counts) I had a beautiful graphic on the fourth. I did not want to remove it only to fill it with words. I have made this correction before with no problem. I put an arrow on the Sunday block partially dragging into the Monday date and gave the details. Now people are all over my back with “is it Sunday or Monday? It looks like it is Sunday.” No it’s Monday that’s why I called it the Fourth of July BBQ and not the day before the Fourth of July BBQ. Notice the big arrow pointing to Monday.

OK, I will concede that it is more obvious in color than it is in black and white. I will also admit there are no color calendars posted anywhere because they did not print any for me. The calendar is in 8.5x17 format. My printer will not hold anything that large. Soooo… there are no color calendars posted anywhere.

This is early for me. It is not even 6:00 a.m. and here I am worrying about a silly concern that I think should be obvious. OK, maybe it is a slight problem. I did make the point of the arrow red and in Black and white it looks black and the graphic on the fourth is a beautiful red, white and blue and in black and white looks black. So shoot me already. Can’t anyone read my mind?

Anyway, I am printing the calendar in two parts and will tape them together and get them up before more people get out of bed. There does that make them happy? I doubt it. Yes, I added "ON JULY 4" to post on the color calendar. I wanted to clarify the date.

FORGIVE ME AS I FORGIVE

Why does anger rise to the surface like Old Faithful in some people. It comes fast and shoots high. It seems to me that people should have figured out by old age that it doesn’t do much good. Maybe have, but we still have several hot heads around here.

I don’t know who is the worst, but if there is a worst it’s a tight race and crowded at the top. I’d like to kick a few butts and thin things out.

Let’s talk Maria today. Of all of them, she can hold a grudge longer than anyone I have ever met. It doesn’t take much for someone to become her mortal enemy. There are times it is her reaction that blackmails them and has nothing to do with anything they did. Take Darla for instance. Darla has had a difficult life. As a result she is defensive, guarded and angry herself. I heard about her and Maria’s conflict when I first arrived. Darla was willing (so she said) to forgive and forget. Not Maria. Maria will walk out of a room is Darla sits down in the same room. If Maria attempts to stay longer she will hold up her hand so she cannot see Darla. It is so phony and fake that people who know nothing of their conflict, gasp and want to know what just happened.

Maria attempted to develop and on going feud with me when I finally told her I did not like the way she treated Kiki or that she had accused and attacked me for something she did. (She was late to go for bread on morning and she blames me for not calling or knocking on her door - not my responsibility, She went after me publically. I reminded her it was her responsibility to be at the meeting place) I knew my comments would cross her and was prepared to lose her friendship if necessary. I let her pull her silly stunts, walk out of rooms I entered and put her hand up to block her view of me for 3-4 weeks. Then I knocked on her door and confronted that stupid behavior. I told her that of course she was free to act any way she choose in spite of my belief that it was childish. However, if she wanted to play her games she needed to be prepared to keep her hand up or stop going to most activities. I intended to be at almost every event The Home had and in fact may be in charge of many of them. It took time, but she got over it and tried to move back to the friendship we had before. She became exceptionally nice to me when she wanted a ride someplace.

She announced a few days ago that she despised Chas and could never forgive him. Chas cannot handle these conflicts. He drops into a funk and hides out in his apartment for a few days waiting for someone to come and tell him he is OK and that he should ignore her as plenty of people like him. He needs to get out, go where he wants and do the things he wants to do. I did all I could to stop people from attempting to rescue him as he and I have talked many times about ignoring these slights. After all, he is not what they call him so there is no reason to go off pouting.

I think I was successful in keeping people from the big rescue gig and he came out of his cave sooner than usual. He talked to me today about what happened. He assumed I knew nothing but forgets hope quickly gossip flies around here. I faked stupidity (I think) and let him tell me from his point of view. I kept asking him what he was going to do. I did not hug him physically or emotionally. I did not give him any advise. I kept turning everything he complained about back to him so he would have to make a decision. I was very happy. Ultimately he decided to do everything I would have told him. I affirmed the wisdom of his decisions.

I have talked with Maria, a Catholic now returning to regular church, about the Lords Prayer. Yes, they say it nearly every Sunday. Does she remember the prayer? Yes. What does she think of the phrase, “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” But you don’t you what he/she did to me. Oh, but I do. I can never forgive them. That is your choice, but do you believe you are doing enough to get to heaven or are you just hoping you will. The Lord’s Prayer mentions how God is going to forgive us. You might want to forgive those who you believe have wronged you. I can’t. Yes, you can, but you won’t. That is your choice, but stop considering heaven as an option for you.