ITS NOT BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS

My blog makes no real contribution to life and culture. It began as one old man blabbering on and on about the humor I see in life. Some of the humor that I once saw is turning to sorrow. And from my perspective it is caused by a life without God. The inability to forgive is painful and brings pain not just to the person not being forgiven, but to the entire unit where the bitter one lives. People are afraid to move, to act, to plan, because of one persons poison.

The home has been decorated beautifully each year. It took longer than usual to get going because of the actions of one person last year. That person sees themselves as the keeper of the decoration and the public areas of the building. Things only go where she says they go. Bi creativity was allowed last year so no one was willing to help her this year. When she finally shut herself in her room out of anger, everyone else got together and decorated out building. And frankly, it looks better that ever.

None of this progress is evident in the main building. The resident who manages the kitchen and makes sure there is coffee every morning, appears to also be the keeper of the Christmas decorations. She is angry this year and she does not want to put up Christmas decorations yet - an so no one wants to cross her so no decorations have gone up. Her anger is stupid (but then most anger is stupid). He wants a man in her life and has decided which man (not me, thankfully). The man has told her it will never happen. HOWEVER (and this is important) he continues to treat her like the love of his life. His words and actions are in conflict. So she is taking her anger out on everyone, and everyone is letting her.

It is not beginning to look al lot like Christmas in the main building, but it is over here. But even here, bitterness has raised its ugly head. Chas decorated the hall on the first floor with garland and ornaments. It looks real nice. There is an inset in front of all our apartments and most people decorate that are their selves. Two apartments were already decorated when Chas got started so he left them alone. In fact, he bought garland to match theirs. He ran that garland everywhere except directly in front of his arch enemies place. However, he did run it around a corner into her area. The lady kindly asked her housekeeper if the garland could be removed as she wanted to decorate her own area. It was a reasonable request. The house keeper took care of the problem for Chas. When she told him what had happened, he wanted to go out and tear it all down. He was talked out of that, but went and cut a large section off that was approacher her apartment. It now looks terrible. He ruined the whole affect because of his over reaction and anger.

When he does that, which is more often than even he admits, people pull away from him and he sulks off to have his own little pity party. He never keeps that party quiet. He tells a few friends how hurt he is and that no body likes him (if no one likes him why does he tell anyone - he would likely have no friends to tell)? The point is to get some people to tell him they like him and beg him to be part of things. I for one am tired of his manipulation. And so are some others. He has a way of turning a nothing item into a huge issue. He keeps thinking he his going to be thrown out. Keep it up and he will.

I have talked to him so many times about this and he agrees while we are together, but acts as though he has no memory of it a few minutes later. This last escapade will send him into retreat in his little apartment. He wanted to go see the lights in another week and I am driving the bas just so he can go. It is likely he will be too embarrassed to go and will blame it on something else. He causes many of his own problems. Gail will tell him straight out and I am going to tell him tonight. This has got to stop.

Of course, like a two year old, I will tell him again and again until it sinks in. I pray that happens soon - for my sanity.

The lack of trust leads to seeing everything with an ulterior motive. Ever action is questioned and the sincerity is doubted. That comes from their own self hatred. They don't believe any compliment or good deed. People begin to wonder what the point is. There is an air of oppression at The home emanating from three people. That is a cancer that is infecting everything.

WASTING FOOD

I hadn’t anticipated the debate going on in the comments section about “Are They Really Thankful.” The posting is about perfectly good food being thrown away because it was past the expiration date. I consider that a lack of gratitude and a waste of perfectly good food.

I have debated getting back into this discussion with another post, but find the waste of food in America to be astounding. I agree that there are unsafe foods both packaged and unpackaged. But I also believe that one of the worse things foisted upon the public by the government is the “use by” date on packages. Most Americans see that as the time to get rid of it. You are free to take this with a grain of salt. I am not trained in this field at all. Everything I have to say is opinion, but opinion from experience.

I depend upon the local Food Bank. Almost everything that comes into the Food bank is past its “use by” date. The only thing that isn’t past due is fresh produce brought in by farmer and growers. What they bring is usually the gleanings. The items left over after the best has gone to market. My Food Bank had received apples, potatoes, onions, pears and even bananas – once. Nearly all have spots and bruises. I grew up in a home that had a very large backyard garden. It would be called an organic garden today. It was fertilized with chicken manure. There were no sprays – at least none that dad every used. He just did what his father did – panted his garden and trusted God for the harvest. It was an ancient approach.

Nearly everything we harvested had something wrong – bruises, spots, and parts eaten by birds or wild rabbits. You often need chemicals to keep food looking perfect. My parents were never bothered by any of these blemishes. They simply cut off the bad parts and we ate what we had.

I do the same with things I get from the Food Bank, They get a great deal of food from local grocers, but it always comes to us when the law says they can no longer keep it on their shelves. It is always passed the “use by” date. Admittedly it is not always very much past that date. It depends on how long it has been stored before we get it. We get bread delivered to The Home from the Food Bank on Tuesdays. The “use by” date has passed. We pick up bread on Wednesdays from Oroweat. The due date has passed. I used to go to the outlets of bakeries to buy at a cheaper price what they called day old bread. It wasn’t all that unusual to see a little mold on some parts of the bread before it can all be used. I say, pick the mold off. The rest is good. Shocking isn’t it.

Back in the ancient of days when I taught in a Bible college in Canada, one student was the night manager at a local McDonalds. As part of closing he was required to throw everything away that had already been cooked. He was not to give it away – only throw it away. There were times he brought it back to give away to students. He could have lost his job for that act.

The homeless know the restaurants that throw food away and do what they can to dumpster dive for that food. To keep them from getting it most dumpsters are locked away from the public. Those establishments are required to throw it away rather than give it to someone who needs it. That is waste.

I have and will continue to eat many items that are passed their “use by” date. Bad food has a smell or a taste. That is the warning. not when some government agency has decided we should not eat it any longer.

I liked this quote from an article referred to me by Cartoon Character.

“British households throw away 8.3 million tons of food and drink a year, with an estimated five million tons of that amount still being perfectly edible. Every day, 1.3million unopened yogurt pots are dumped, as well as five million potatoes, a million loaves of bread, a million slices of ham, and 440,000 ready meals.”

I am not trying to sway anyone from his or her eating practice. I want to acknowledge the waste we create by law that only Food Banks are permitted to redistribute. If it is bad for Americans to eat, then why are we distributing it to the poor? It must be part of a plan to eliminate the poor. My days are number — but then whose isn’t.

THANKSGIVING DAY

I did not get sick from Resers frozen foods. In fact, I have had some of it twice more. I think there was some wasted food when some many women threw it out.

Thanksgiving afternoon I got in the car with my family and went to Seattle to spend the day with my son-in-laws family. I have been doing that for a number of years. It is easier and more fun for the grand kids. There were nine grand kids and things changed this year. The five oldest sat at a table and played games. It was reasonably calm and controlled. I loved that. The four youngest continued the tradition of running and screaming and bouncing all over the place. Grandma and grandpa have a basement that they have set up as a play area for the kids. Fortunately, they spent a great deal of time there.

My hearing is beginning to go and when there is a lot of noise and mass confusion I cannot focus on any conversation. I missed some of the discussion. I have had my hearing checked and there is some loss. They tried to sell me a miracle ear for $3,000 for each ear. After picking myself up off the floor the salesman (I think I am suppose to call him the technician) set me up with a credit card that specializes in somewhat lower payments. I was interested in what they would do. But when the card arrived, I had to pick myself up off the floor again. The interest was nearly 27%, highway robbery. The card I have has a significantly lower interest rate, but I am still paying off the debt I retired with and decided I would not add anything to that card until the old debt was paid off and I may not use it after that. It is going to be a while before tat bill is paid.

The meal was terrific as usual and somehow I managed to not over eat. I wanted some pumpkin pie but when we got around to pie, I chose apple pie instead. Go figure. It just looked too good and there will be a lot more pumpkin before the end of the season.

I sure debated about going to Seattle, as my back was still hurting. Fortunately it did not get any worse but when I got home I was completely wiped out. I am beginning to feel my age.

I was to set up for the art show on Saturday, but passed because of my back. I will do it on Tuesday. I look forward to the show and would love to have a sale or two. We will see what wills happen.

I need to get going on the two portrait orders, but first — a good nights sleep. See you later.

I will write tomorrow about the expiration date debate in the comments section. Very interesting.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

ARE THEY REALLY THANKFUL?

I was trying to get out and loosen up my hip and back. I just walked the hall. It wasn’t too bad. I am working to keep things relaxed. How does work and relax fit in the same sentence? Duh!

On one of my little hikes I heard voices upstairs so hopped on the elevator to see what was happening (I can be nosey, I guess). I was thinking I might get a conversation going about thankfulness. That didn’t happen but I think I picked up a few items of thankfulness.

We each received Thanksgiving food baskets on Monday. Some were thankful to get them and others were thankful for the freedom to throw them away. The “use by” date is January 2010 on the frozen food provided by Reser’s. They provided frozen mashed potatoes, frozen stuffing and frozen gravy. Some residents were thankful that they could be horrified something like that would even be given to us poor starving people (not).

They were also thankful they could take their complaint to the coordinator from housing that made arrangements to deliver the food. They were thankful they could drive her to frustration and tears as she was the dispenser of the food here and therefore it was her fault and how dare she even think she could dump this old food on us, of all people. No one considered blaming the food bank, the storage facility or Reser’s or the economy or themselves for not donating. Our messenger was responsible and therefore should have been thankful she was being set straight. Not one person considered that the food might still is useable, nor did they try to find out. Not one person considered returning it to the food back so it could be given to someone who really needed it.

As I am writing you, I have the gravy and stuffing in the microwave. To the horror of many I plan to try it and see what it tastes like. If I am sick later – it probably wasn’t very good. If I don’t write before Monday, maybe I died from some kind of poisoning. I think it is worth a try. I used to eat dirt and that didn’t kill me.

The stuffing and Gravy is finished so I added some veggies to try it out. It all tastes pretty good. Of course, it is too early to see if I get sick. The stuffing is a little spicier than I like, but still good. But remember, I ate dirt so may not be the best judge.

The food group was especially thankful that we got a small chicken with some freezer burn. Never mind their yelling about where the turkey was even though the paper commented on the food bank shortage of food for atl east the past week. They also announced that fewer turkeys would be available. No matter! “Where is my turkey?”

A group of ten will be here with no other place to go. No one seemed to be thankful that they had the money to go and buy all fresh ingredients for their own little turkey feast. I spoke to one organizer this morning asking if I did not go to Seattle, could I join them. “Of course, there is plenty of food.” Later in our conversation it was mentioned that one person from our building wanted to invite her friend from the other building and was told, “No, we can’t feed everyone.” The one our resident wanted to invite eats like a bird.

Well, I now have one more thing for which to be thankful. I am thankful I can leave all these “thankful” people and go to Seattle. I pray my back is better.

I just finished eating everything and am thankful I got the food. I am grateful for a food bank and those who contribute to the food bank. I am also thankful for Reser’s donation. I’m sorry the “use by” date was so offensive. I need the help.

Praise God from whom all blessing flow. If you are able, you would bless me by contributing to your local food bank. It is needed now more than ever.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

I plan to spend Turkey Day with my son-in-law’s family. I have done that nearly every year since my wife passed away. They have been exceptionally kind to me all these years. I also spent Christmas with them. This developed after a few holidays were spent in Oregon with just the three of us: Rhonda, Chris (her husband) and me. Boring! Holiday celebrations are best enjoyed with a larger group,

I enjoy sitting down and considering many of the things for which I am thankful, so let me share some of those with you this year.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.

I love where I live. I am thankful I am here. The Home is beautiful and the setting is terrific. Also I am close to family – about 20 minutes.

I am thankful for most of the people In The Home. Of course, there are a few whose necks I would like to break, but they gave life to this blog. One of the exceptional people is my upstairs neighbor. My back is bothering me today and I am struggling to walk. She went out in this cold miserable weather to get my insulin. I wouldn’t have asked, but she said she was going out anyway. She lied. She wasn’t going outside at all. She did it because I needed help. She is also the organizer of a Thanksgiving meal being held in our building for the 8 or 9 people who have no place to go, and she not really much of a cook. Cool, eh!

I am thankful for a van that still runs. It has its little problems: a door that rattles and a window I have taped so it won’t fall out. I suspect it will be my last car and I’m glad to have it. While I could get around without it, a vehicle means freedom for a senior as much as it does for a teen. The difference is that we drive only if we have to and rarely after dark.

Of course I am thankful for my family. My only immediate family is my daughter, son-in-law and the three grandkids. There are a lot of thing I have missed with my wife gone and one is touch. My grandkids never fail to hug me when they see me and hug me again at departure. Yeah!

I cannot forget Chris’ family as they have included me on special holidays for years. It is always fun to be with them. There are nine children running around yelling and screaming. I may have a headache at the end but it beats silence.

I am thankful for health. Mine is not perfect. Today my back is making it difficult to walk, but rest will cure that. It’s from the physical strain of the weekend. I could go through a list of things that are breaking down, but like it or not we are all moving toward the end and that process usually includes things not working like they used to. It’s part of the pattern. I am thankful for what I do have.

In regard to health, I am thankful I can still draw. After my last heart attack I developed a mild shaking in my left hand (my drawing hand). I was fearful I could no longer draw and went through a time of deciding I would rather not try and then learn I could not draw. So I decided to give it up. God is still allowing me that little pleasure. By the way, I went on line yesterday and found an art consignment site. I am in the process of signing up. Shocked, aren’t you.

I am thankful that God helped me learn that cooking was an art and not an exact science. Once I understood that simple fact, I have feed myself some pretty good food – when I want to. I am still waiting for Rachel Ray’s cookbook for 10-minute meals. I nuke much of what I eat because I don’t like waiting. I can’t imagine having to hunt down or gather my food, then building a fire to cook it. That’s an all day project, maybe even an all week challenge. We have come a long way since the pilgrims — and I am very thankful for that. I really do prefer hunting my food at the butchers.

I am thankful for your who comment from time to time. You challenge me to be better and do better. You encourage and motivate me to keep writing. You are helpful and often funny. I love humor. I try to incorporate it into my blog much of the time. I am completely aware that there are times that I am the only one who thinks I funny, but thankfully you allow the illusion to continue.

Enjoy Thanksgiving. I'll be back on Friday. I might as well. You will never again find me out shopping on Black Friday. I don;t need anything they are selling that bad. I hate crowds.

MY ART

I greatly appreciate all the suggestions I have received about marketing my art, but I think I have left a wrong impression. While I would like to sell some of my art for a little extra cash, I am not sufficiently motivated, interested, skilled or whatever to do the work necessary. What I need is a middle person so I can just draw and not give any thought to marketing.

Marketing is the reason my graphic business failed. I loved the design work, but hated the sales side. All of business requires a “sales” side. That’s why what I do now is a hobby. I only hope I sell something. I do not work at it seriously. It’s a lot like a God relationship. Many people only hope to go to heaven, they do nothing about it.

I appreciate the concern many of you have for me. If it will make you fell any better these shows are often only good for contacts. Two follow-ups have lead to two commissioned portraits. That combined with filling the pulpit in a couple of weeks will give me a really good Christmas. And because I am a doting old man who would do anything for his daughter and grandkids, they will also have a good Christmas. I don’t need much to live on. I can and have lived on less that $10 from as early as the tenth of the month to the end of the month. When you are retired, have a place to live and food to eat, it is amazing what you can do. I don’t go anywhere and I don’t do anything that will cost money. If I run out of something, I just wait until I can afford it. It is no big deal. I can’t say that about past days of my life, but at this stage —it is not hard at all. I not longer live on credit

Art is and expression of joy for me. While it is nice when other people like it, I love it when I like it. And that is not always true. While I do not consider myself a perfectionist, that blood courses through my veins. I have had my stomach in a knot in the past because of a glitch no one else would ever notice. That is pretty much a thing of the past. Every drawing I have done lately has multiple errors in the process. Now I either incorporate those into the drawing or cover them up as best I can. My medium is colored pencil. Prismacolor is a wax-based pencil. You do not erase wax. You can lift some off, but if you have already layered it in too heavily, it’s going to stay. It helps if you work lightly and gradually build up the color intensity.

When I decided to take my sabbatical in 1990 and take an art class, I knew I wanted to create something that could hang on the wall. I had spent all my life working on signs and brochures that pass on information. No matter how pretty, interesting or artist they were (and plenty were not), they were used” and discarded. That was their purpose. So when it came time to decide what I would do I gravitated toward colored pencil because it was a dry medium. I have laid this left hand down in more wet projects than I can count. I usually smear the project at some point. I have tried working from right to left. I even did big banners from right to left and often leave out a letter in way too many projects. The beauty of wax (for me) is that I can lay my hand on top of it and nothing changes. Yeah!

I have toyed with putting things on the web. I’m not sure I want to deal with my own web site. I would like to find a consignment art dealer on the web — so if you know of one, I welcome that direction.

In many ways I just like people to see it. And, by the way – most of my prints sell for $20 in 5x7 and 8x10 both matted. I also make then into cards for $2. I’m happy with that. Any lower and I don’t even cover the cost of pencils, paper and ink.

(Caryn: if you read this write me at cswalker42@yahoo.com. I would like to write you directly)