TO DRAW OR NOT TO DRAW

I’m inspired to draw again. I have a shaky left hand since my heart attack and I confess to being afraid to even try and draw. I enjoy it so much it just seemed like I would rather not know if I could hold my hand steady. It seemed easier not to try than to try and find out that I can’t do it, a little fear of being disappointed. This is some sort of reverse or backward thinking I suppose, but I thought I could just quit and be happy with what I have done.

But I went to get my hair cut today and Stephanie (my barber) asked if I was ready for another show. She has some extra space in her shop and has always used it as a gallery. She never charges and if you sell something, you keep at the money. It’s a good deal. We got talking about a series I want to do. I have one Washington picture I have done. That’s of a ferry. I sell a lot of prints of that one. I have a beautiful drawing called “Above The Falls” of Silver Creek Falls in Oregon and several think it is a stream in Washington. They lose interest when I mention that it’s of Oregon. Maybe I should just tell them it’s the place they think it is. Naw! Can’t do that.

I would like to do a series of drawings of Old Town. There are quit a few historic building that are very interesting. Back in January, before my heart attack, I took a number of photos of the places that interest me. I have since thought about it a great deal and especially while getting my haircut. She is so enthusiastic about my dream that she wants to advertise and have a big opening just for me. I have never had an opening of my own. She then proceeded to tell me what buildings I should definitely include, as they would be the ones most likely to buy the originals. I haven’t sold any originals in years and would love to do that. She wants to have a note card collection of Old Town. Frankly, that is the easiest to do.

So I came home and pick up some pencils (I draw with colored pencil) and learned I can keep my hand steady if I keep it on the table. Also the longer I draw the steadier I become. This may sound strange, but I was excited. Not enough to get started, but enough to know I can try and see what happens. They won’t be awful. The best thing about my talk with Stephanie is that she suggested little things that should be included to make them special for the potential client. All were great ideas.

I ‘m finding aging very interesting. I’m not bothered or shocked by the process. I do wish I had the wisdom I have now back when it would have been more helpful. I would like to have more energy, but I am beginning to enjoy my occasional afternoon. I am no longer being pushed to try things I never wanted to try. If I say no, I am immediately left alone. I like that. I have thought about having better health, but the process of living includes deterioration. I know this sounds gross, but we really do start to fall apart. It can’t be stopped, and I’m not sure I want it to.

I would like to be a happy rotting apple leaving my seeds planted and turn the present work over to the next generation. It has always been that way. I do not understand my fellow aging apples that resist the leadership of the next generation and want to keep everything the way they like it. Things change, things that stay the same die. The biggest issue for seniors in churches is still the music. It’s OK not to like the louder music of this generation, but don’t try to stop it. Turn your hearing aid down or come to the service after the music. You can always listen to your old records, or 8 Tracks. If you have updated to CD’s or ipods you can buy the exact kind of music you like.

There I did it again. Wandered back into the church. What I see are things I would do differently. That is nothing that needs addressing. Remember the churches that feel alive have kids and youth. The glorious generational mix is a wonderfully healthy mix. On the other hand, I am tired of moving chairs, setting up tables, painting, building, cleaning, decorating. I am extremely happy to bequeath my church to the strong and mighty. They still need me. They may not always know that, but they do. I am not just a prayer warrior as we often encourage old people to do. I have the same gifts and talents I have always had and as long as I don’t lift and climb I can still do them. I’m the head greeter showing some of these kids how to be warm, friendly and start a conversation. I can do much more, but I’m going to take it one step at a time. I know I never want to sit on another committee as long as I live. I am committeed out and have added an eleventh commandment — THOU SHALT NOT COMMITTEE. Now if you want a benevolent dictator — I’m your man.