THERE'S MOVEMENT

There had to be some movement sooner or later. The initial apparent stalemate is beginning to crumble. The feeling was that the only change that would occur would be one sided, but both parties have agreed to mediation. Chas and Olivia will both meet together with a reconciliation leadership team organized by two professionals on February 14th. Each party was offered the opportunity to have two members from The Home who they believed would be open to both parties. Gail and I will come on behalf of Chas and Liz will come for Olivia. While Gail, Liz and I will talk to all parties, Liz has had her own issues with Chas. She was the flower lady who kept moving his potted plants so she could water and for some reason, never put them back and considered it his problem.

Personally I do not see any resolution. If we get to people to forgive and let go I will refer this team to churches for help. Every major interpersonal church conflict I have ever seen only ends when one party or the other moves. That may only mean leaving the church. In this case one may need to leave The Home to bring and end to his conflict. Neither one really likes the other. Both have agitated the other. Both appear to look for ways to take offence.

When you look back at the straw that broke this camel’s back the conflict seems to really relate to who they are, not the actual action. Taking this step by step.

Chas left the area by the fireplace to see if help was needed in the kitchen. Good choice. He left an empty paper place and his glass cup on a table, Olivia, picked up the paper plate and took it to the garbage. The cup was still in her hand. Now it gets sticky. Why did she pick these up? This activity happens often. It is usually assumed that someone forgot the plate and it is thrown away through kindness. But why did Olivia pick up the plate? Was it kindness or was it part of a plan to attack Chas? We will never know because Chas spoke first. What are you doing with that plate? Throwing it away. Don’t touch my things? Why do you just leave them lying around instead of throwing them away in the first place? I am not throwing my cup away. Then put it where it belongs. And it goes on and on until Olivia threatens to get a restraining order against him. Nice follow through. She filed the order.

Normal people would have thanked the one picking up after them and the one doing the picking up says its no problem, I was going to the garbage anyway. That would be the end of things. Over, done, finished never to be addressed again. But there is history here. Both look for offense. The bitterness and hatred flows from their beings. So a minor, insignificant issue begins an all out war with sides being chosen, uniforms sewn and battle plans drawn over garbage. It really grew over three years of growing animosity.

I have no idea how many meetings are planned for the reconciliation group. I do believe Chas has the capacity to forgive and let go. Olivia does not appear to have that ability. Her control and manipulation radar will likely kick in and cause her to breath fire. It should be fun to watch. I’m glad I get a front row seat.