BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS

We were shown a great film in my Psychology 101 class where a man and woman were stilling at a bar discussing office concerns over drinks. I cannot remember anything about their words — it was a hundred years ago or so — but their intent is still clear in my mind. Their flirtatious facial moves and roaming hands over one another’s bodies were perfectly clear. They wanted to “merge” their two companies back to someone apartment or a nearby motel.

Now there is a study reflecting on the inconsistencies of memory. Most have heard that police are very suspicious when all witnesses tell the same story. But is our own memory of our own experiences even accurate?

Are there a few stories from your life that you have repeated dozens of times? Most likely! Have you repeated events from your early childhood —say, age 2-5, in that area – that you clearly remember the story?

The question to ask yourself is have you repeated the story so often that you are completely unaware of the subtle changes you have made to the story? I’m not accusing anyone of lying. Certainly not intentionally, however, it is easy to change small pieces and still maintain the essence. Have you ever played telephone? It’s an old game where people sit in a circle and a story is passed around the room by whispering to your neighbor. You know the story is often completely different. That should give us great pause relying on 3rd and 4th hand information as the absolute truth. But have you considered that your own facts on that childhood story may not be accurate? It’s true. What about the preschool memories you swear you remember. Do you really remember or is it so much a part of your history because of family members telling the story over and over?

That’s hard to know. We should probably say this story is based on actual events. Certainly there is truth in much of the tale. It would be a rare event indeed if we were to repeat an incident exactly as it happened every single time. We remember new parts, we get a better response to other parts, and we cut parts that did not go over or make sense. We change it along the way. We can become better storytellers as we learn what makes for a great story based on response. You can’t beat practice.

I don’t want to argue with anyone convinced that they remember, but consider how hard it is to get the details right on something that happened last year. Not just perceived right, but completely totally correct. Unless you recorded or tape the event, you will mess several things up — guaranteed! Our attitude, interests, views, perceptions affect what we remember.

Now personally, I cannot remember if being stung on my head by a bee in kindergarten comes from my memory or the family talking and laughing and adding their parts to the story over the years. I still have other people repeating that story and there are only two others left. That was 60 years ago. I will agree that I was stung on my head by a bee sitting in my kindergarten class an that I ran out the school, across the street to my home and mother. Yes, I was crying. But I can tell that story with great flair and details that will grab your attention, but I must admit that I should preface the story with the comment “based on actual events.” I now know it is not all true. Impossible. I remember more details now than I did when it happened. Think about it.