NOT MINE

I loved this letter from a pastor friend. I’m going to turn my column over to him for the day. I will have my usual snide remarks the end.

“Too bad you couldn't have been with me yesterday. I had the Mennonite funeral in Elmira. I don't know if you have ever been to Elmira or St. Jacobs. They are just a few miles apart and both are tourist attractions--BIG TIME! People come from all over to see the Amish people in their buggies and colorless dress. The town is always full of tourist year round winter and summer. It was really different to be there and be a part of the normal things going on there. It was a fairly large funeral and 3/4 were old order Mennonite. We sang 3 hymns and I was told that a man who is used to leading singing in the Mennonite church would lead the hymns. When I met him before the service, he was in a black suit with a Nehru collar, and no tie. He said that he wouldn't get up and lead because that is not part of their culture. So he sat among the pallbearers and led out--his voice only--no piano, guitars or drums. Then they all joined in and it was absolutely awesome! They all sang in parts and all with no accompaniment. It would almost bring tears to your eyes.

It was surreal to look out on all these Mennonite ladies with their black bonnets; only a handful had white covers on. The men were all in black with no adornments. After the service we progressed through town out to the Mennonite cemetery on the edge of town. There is a large plain white meetinghouse with no windows, and closed doors. We drove through the horse parking lot with poles to hitch your horse, and then out into the old order section of the graveyard with all it's plain white rectangular gravestones, with names carved on them. Everyone is the same so that no one stands out. I led the graveside service with all these people around me. They all stood there speechless after my closing prayer and the casket was lowered down into the wooden box in the grave. Some come forward and look down into the hole, all with no expression or comments. Then they stand and talk to each other--no hugging or contact, just conversation. I felt like I was in a movie! There were just 8 people from non-Mennonite churches dressed as city people would. Then we went back to the funeral home and had a really nice lunch

Today I feel really wacked out. It took more out of me than I had expected. I think it was just the pressure of being so out of my element, and hoping I didn't do anything or say anything to disgrace myself. They don't like any pictures in the funeral home, or any flowers. There were 3 bouquets though which were likely from the non-Mennonites. Also a lady at from the city church set up some pictures. The deceased had lived with her and her family for 24 years. He left the old order and worked for farmers. His job came to an end and he was attending the significantly more American culture Church--actually his health gave out. He must have been late 60's at that time. So the lady from our church took him in and he became a definite part of their family. You could see that they were more in mourning that any of his relatives. We think that he was "shunned" because he left the old order church. In spite of that they turned out in good numbers. So she put up some pictures of him at their family activities. After putting it up she heard that pictures were offensive, and so were flowers. She also had a basket of flowers. One of the deceased's nephews said, "I don't care what they say I am putting in a basket of flowers for Uncle David. So she just left what she had there. Guess they just had to adjust. I didn't see any of them looking at the pictures.”

Old Order Mennonites traditions do not mix with mine. I will never say they cannot know God doing it their way. They have some pieces that I greatly admire. The churches in which I was raised and the early churches I served were extremely musical. The congregations sang. I love the beauty of congregational singing without accompaniment. Today’s music approach is to put a band up front to lead us. I have transitioned to virtually ever style of music the church has adopted. That comes with 35 years of youth work. I have accepted it all because I believe the message is in the words. But I watch congregations barely singing but being entertained by the band. A few people worship and most watch. I miss the beauty of participation.

I have always struggled with the concept of shunning. Old Oder Mennonites have a formal way to reject people. We believe we are more polite and kind about rejection. We simply ignore those we reject. We do not talk to them, accept them or include them. Which is which? I am sad when one who does not know Christ dies. I also I do not know what decisions are made in those last days of life when they know their end on earth is coming. I will not judge. But whatever their situation, I want to celebrate their life and the privilege I had of knowing them. Death is sad, but I will never understand not wanting to even look at a photo of one you loved. It is the images created through the gifts God gave His creatures that add to the beauty of His work.