Some morning coffee conversations are fascinating. Today was one of those days. It was about the experiences of first surgeries. Once you get to be our age it seems that everyone has a story.
Mine came when I was seventeen. A year before the surgery I was talked into helping three other guys lift a VW bug and place it between two trees. It seemed funny at the time. We were at a weekend retreat and the director had a VW bug. Need I say more? However, the out come of my action was a hernia. The following January I was scheduled for surgery to repair the damage.
Now keep in mind that I was only seventeen and everything about my body was an embarrassment. I had to turn my head and look away when they sent in the young intern to shave my pubic hair. I asked to do it myself and I was told this was procedure. Yeah, right! The next morning I was prepped for surgery and wheeled into the operating room. The prelim shot was to make me relax. On arrival there were several people their doing their thing, whatever their thing was. When I saw all the young good-looking nurses I wanted to die from embarrassment. I knew it would not be long before long before I was stretched out like a raw slab of meat for the whole world to concentrate on my nether region. At least I was now covered.
The utensils and knives were wheeled along my left side and after a few minutes, the scurrying around stopped. I looked from side to side, raise my head to see below my feet and tipped my head back to look above my head. There was no one there. Where did they go? Why am I here alone?
It felt like and eternity before anyone returned. It was a lone nurse. I couldn’t quite get twisted to see what she was doing and I was getting more and more drowsy. Eventually I said, hello. She responded and came to my side to ask if I was comfortable. No, I was nervous. Where did everyone go? Oh, they didn’t tell you? No! Well there was an over night snowstorm and the doctor is still stuck in his driveway. He should be here in 30 minutes. WHAT! Continuing the conversation with the lone nurse I learned she was the sister of a buddy from high school. Yes, I turned completely red and hoped I would never see her again.
The best story came from Gale. Shortly after she was married she went in to have gallstones removed. She had never been in the hospital before and was a nervous wreck. The doctor informed her there would be pain, but she would come though just fine. She got ready and crawled into the bed. After the nurses were done taking her temperature, getting her blood pressure and giving her the first set of pills, she was alone with her roommate.
The roommate shared all that Gail might expect. She was told that most people die having gallstone surgery. She went on and on in very great detail about the pain before the death. By the time she was done, Gail was in tears. Her wailing brought the nurses running. Gale cried I’m going to die. No you’re not. However nothing they said would console her. The doctor was called. Gale explained what happened and he demanded she be moved to another room. There was no other room. Her bed was wheeled into the hall and she was left there crying softly with traffic passing and staring.
The surgery went fine. She was returned to her room and her husband sat with her waiting for her to wake up. When she started to recover she was weeping and saying, I died. He husband is trying to convince her that she was alive but she kept repeating the story of her death. He kissed her on the lips and asked if she felt that. She said, felt what? He kissed her again and she thought a cloud had brushed her mouth.
She was given morphine for the pain and she was loopy because of the drug. The doctor came in later and saw her reaching into the air and moving her hands around pinching the air at various places. He asked was she was doing. Popping the balloons. Where are they? There’s a blue one, up higher is a yellow one, the green one is here (got it), and the purple one is getting lower. The doctor ordered the morphine to be reduced. Nothing was clear to Gail until the next day when her husband asked if she thought she was still dead. She said she was in far too much pain to be dead.
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