Sunday, May 8, 2011

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

HAPPY MOTHER DAYS! On this special Hallmark day I thought I would take the time to honor the mothers of my life.

There is first of all, my birth mother. The mother I surprised by coming along nine years after what she believed would be her last child. She is the woman that held me, cuddled me, wiped my nose and my ass. She was the one who kissed my boo-boos and/or smeared them with iodine or Mercurochrome. Either way they left big red splotches all over my body – mostly knees and elbows. One always knew when a classmate had been hurt because of the red spots.

She was the one I ran home to when a bee stung the top of my head while I was drawing in kindergarten. She was the one I cried for when the rocks dug into my skin from a fall on the school playground. She was the one who made my meals, cleaned our house and my room, and worked a part time job so I would have school clothes. She was the one who put me first in life.

My mother was a descent cook. I always tell the story of the one item she would often cook until it was good and dead. Green Beans. She would get up early in the morning and cook them all day for the supper meal. I kept telling the story because it got a laugh. It, however, was not how the bulk of our meals were prepared. I loved her chicken (sometimes rabbit without me knowing) and meatloaf. Dad was meat and potatoes physical laborer all is life and she cooked for him.

In my teen years, she was usually sitting in her rocker in the dark waiting up until I got home. Naturally I resented it. Truthfully it was a sign of her deep love.

I cannot ignore the genuine issues she faced and laid on her family, but when I see them in light of her own history, they make sense. She had fears of abandonment. It goes back to her childhood in Kentucky when her two older and favorite brothers and their horses were killed when hit by a train in a blinding snowstorm. She had a strong need to hang on to everyone she loved. She did not want any of her adult children to move far from her. She needed to be near the grandkids. In that regard, I was a failure. I never lived near her.

My spiritual mother in my teens was the mother of my best friend. Mrs. Pugh talked about God and growing up and trusting and having faith. While I decided to follow God countless times in high school, it was Mrs. Pugh who helped me understand what it meant to follow Christ.

My own wife was the greatest mother. She did all that my mother did but added being courteous, polite, hospitable, and gracious. She was a terrific cook. I followed in my dad’s footsteps as a meat and potatoes man, but she stretched my taste buds to wonderful and unique meals. My wife was a mother and a lady. She was the perfect hostess a great housekeeper and the woman who extended “our” ministry to one of hospitality. She kept track of my schedule for the home and where the kids needed to be. She ran them back and forth to swim practice and got them to meets when I was away. I loved her so deeply I never had a negative word to ever say about her. She was and remains, the love of my life.

Mrs. Rose was the pastor’s wife of my wife’s youth. They followed to her college town and eventually joined the college as the Dean of Students and the Dean of Men. She got us both through one of the toughest times of our life. She was our counselor and model of hospitality. There was always coffee tea and sweets every time we visited and we did that often as college stud students, and again as a young married couple and finally when we moved back to the city so I could join the college staff.

It is a joy to observe my daughter as the mother of my three grand kids. She is firm, yet loving. She is more of a taxi driver than my wife ever was. She manages her home, her children, and her job and mammoth transportation since they live in a rural place that requires driving to everywhere they go. She also manages to get three soccer players (her kids) to three different games at different locations and different times during the season, plus everything else they do. She seems to keep this all in her head. I swear she could manage a staff of dozens and keep them all on track.

And finally my expression of love and appreciation to my son-in-laws mother whom now the wonderful mother to my daughter. She accepts her as one of her own and is the only grandmother my grand kids will ever know. I am eternally grateful to her.

Today I bless the mothers of this world and take to mind Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and mother so that you'll live a long time in the land that God, your God, is giving you.” This is the only command with a promise, and why not — we owe them our lives.

2 comments:

Boomer said...

I remember Mr. & Mrs. Rose too! They were so nice to me, and Mr. Rose spent a lot of time just listening to my heart aches and offering such quiet advise. A wonderful couple and very special people.

Clyde said...

Indeed they were. They were grandparents to my children by choice