MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR

Make love, not war.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Get out of Afghanistan.
Politicians — work together
Let bygones be bygones.

We look at conflict through the world picture and many scream for a stop to world conflict. We ask why two political parties are so idealistic and will not cooperate for the peoples good. Why do corporations over charge and keep trying to find new ways to sock it to the consumer? Why doesn’t a person’s word mean anything? Why do neighbors argue over a few inches on a property line or about a tree hanging over the line? Why do parents and children refuse ever to speak to one another again?

The world, politics families and friends conflict all stem from the same source. We are selfish. We want what we want and we want it now. Only our rights matter. Only our desires are important. I have no guilt — it’s all the other persons fault. Them not me. I’m right they are wrong. I was offended I did nothing to offend them. In theological terms if it called the doctrine of perfection. I know I am not perfect, but the other person should be perfect and I will hold them to that standard no matter what happens. There is no such doctrine. And when we think there is we only apply it to the other person.

Living in a small and somewhat intimate apartment complex is just a microcosm of the world. If you think this is wrong, listen for certain key words that indicate the me focus is not there. Words such as: sorry; excuse me; forgive me; it was my fault; I didn’t mean to upset you; can we work this out; etc. Words and phrases more commonly heard begin with “you.” The derivatives of which are “he,” “she,” and “they.”

We resent the administration for (fill in the blank). They distrust us for (fill in the blank). I can never forgive or forget her because (fill in the blank). Don’t ever talk to me again because (fill in the blank). It continues with why did you (fill in the blank). What right do you have to (fill in the blank)? You did, you are, you should, I demand, I resent, I, I, I . . .

Our feelings are easily hurt. The tone of their voice was harsh, mean, or angry. They did that intentionally. We cannot talk it out because I don’t like them. I want my way and I do not want you to have your way. I want what I want and you better get out of the way of my wants. I am right and you are wrong. There is no talking it out. There is no compromise. There are no concessions.

With these attitudes we are destined to live in conflict the rest of our lives.

Do people say things that are inappropriate to one another? Yes. Do people speak with disrespectful tones? Yes. Do people do what they want without regard to others? Yes. Is there a way to correct this? Yes. Communication. A willingness to talk things out without anger. A desire to create a positive relationship. What makes that difficult is we all have been through the wringer of life but are still tender trees without a trunk strong enough to sway with the wind and bounce back straight up.

Everyone I know has something wrong. Some reason to hurt. They have experienced loss: a loved one, a job, finances, or possessions. I am not the only one. You are not the only one. We will support when it is needed, but we also want all to move into the present. See the bright side. It’s not fun to live in the gloom of winter all the time.

And finally, realize you are not a dog and you can be taught new tricks.