IT IS FINISHED

Obviously I did not write Sunday night as I promised. (I must stop making promises). I under estimated how tired I would be. It was a great weekend. I was pretty relaxed. I was nervous initially, but as the day to preach got closer I had no fear of the audience. I was familiar enough with this congregation that I was completely comfortable being up front. I had study sufficiently that to fully believe I was on the right track and God was in this.

If you ask me and who else would you ask, Saturday night went the best. I stayed on track all night and while I wished for more laughter (I think I’m funny), it was clear the audience was tracking with me. I never saw a single person wandering away. I can’t remember when I have had that kind of total response. I got lost once and had to hesitate to find my place. But I managed to stay with my outline and included all I had planned.

When I got home that night I went back over the outline because I had the feeling I got lost because something was in the wrong order. Didn’t seem like it. It was also a wonderfully warm night )most likely our last of the season so Chas and I sat on the front porch talking till nearly 11:00. Seems like it was the warmest of our three-week summer.

It was cool Sunday. But not raining when I walked to church. My apartment next-door neighbor was there. She had been in the hospital and had come from recovering at her daughter’s home. It was great to see her. She looked terrific — tired, but terrific. She3 things she is coming back to The Home Tuesday.

Both Sunday services were more difficult. I had the physical energy for two services in a row, but some of the mental stamina was gone. Strangely I stumbled in the same place as Saturday night. While it looked OK, I now knew something was turned around but it was too late to fix. I just trusted God to help me get through.

I thought all was fine for that service. There were six people from The Home – all friendly faces. But I forgot my best joke — one about the poor band not being able to afford shoes. Many members of our church band play barefooted. It was my best laugh on Saturday. The hardest part about missing that joke at that service is it was the only service the band hears. I felt like my audience contact slipped a bit by this second service but there were some very encouraging comments.

I was most troubled by the last service. I got a tickle in my throat that water would not wash away. My voice slipped into mafia kingpin mode with a hoarse somewhat nasal sound. Reminded me of Marlon Brando in the Godfather. Then the coughing started. I managed getting a couple to the side away from the mic, but one was directed right into the mic. I think when I covered my mouth I caught it in my hands and hacked right into it. It sounded a bit like an explosion. I may have even deafened some people.

My family came to that last service and my grand kids would were wonderful to me. My daughter was very pound. She knew what few knew. I needed this opportunity to complete a restoration from years ministry pain. I had convinced myself that I had no place in a public ministry. That had much to do with the nervousness. While I believed the quality slipped some with each service, it was completely healing for me as it reassured me that God has blessed my ministry of the past and had not thrown me out with the garbage as some of his servants had done.

All in all I am grateful for the opportunity and that God gave me the courage to try again. Cindy is a hard workingwoman who brings a number of seniors each Sunday from a care facility and came with her boyfriend on Saturday night. I know nothing about the boyfriend but he was so focused and had a tear running down his left cheek from time to time. He was with me all the way. I really wanted to know his story. She threw her arms around me on Sunday morning and told me it was wonderful and hoped I would speak again.

I was very surprised and, glad God spoke to her and hoped the pastor didn’t hear her comment. While the opportunity was spiritual healing for me, I don’t need more. it is no longer a life goal. Admittedly it kicked a bit of new life into these weary bones. I would beg to do it often if it caused weight loss, but alas, that didn’t happen.