NOTHING TO SAY

Have you ever been dry? Not thirsty where you need water. Not skin thirsty so you need six different moisturizers just to feel normal or even body thirsty when you need water running over you just to feel human again. I mean brain thirsty.

The last few days I have felt like I just returned from three months of summer vacation and the fourth grade teacher has asked us to write a one page essay on our summer vacation. If we had ever done anything interesting that might have been a fun assignment, but my family did the same ting every summer. Besides, I hated writing at the time in my life. I had nothing to say. I was not interesting. And my memory sucked.

Not much has really changed. My memory still sucks, but I make up for that with a vivid imagination. But don’t pass that around. I want my stories to appear real and true with only the names being changed to protect the guilty. And they are, you know. In reality I have had nothing to say the last few days. Mom always said; if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I know that doesn’t really apply here, but it sounded intelligent at the time I wrote it.

I actually had several things to say, but by the time I got back to my room I could never remember what they were. Now that - I blame on old age. But of course, I blame nearly everything that I struggle with on old age. It’s great. At least I have a ready excuse for everything. If that doesn’t work I try memory loss – who are you? Do I know you? Where did you come from? Are you my daughter? The last one doesn’t work as well when talking to a man.

In my mind I still see myself as uninteresting. They tell me that has to do with low self esteem. What a shock – me? When I was teaching my college classes occasionally some student would say, can you repeat that? I assumed they wanted a quote. First, I was surprised anyone wanted a repeat of anything I said and second, I could never remember what I just said. Apparently my brightest moments came extemporaneously. At least they were never written down. Thankfully some other student usually wrote down that bright gem of gold I just delivered and even I was usually impressed. Not bad for thinking on my feet. Or is it not bad for under preparing. I don't know which it was.

I am trying to learn from Seinfeld. Just talk about nothing. How did it work for you today? I had fun.