ANSWERS

YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT THE HOME ANSWERED

ARE WE GETTING A MANAGER?
No! We are getting a warden with power to lock us up when necessary.
WHY ARE THERE BROWN SPOTS ON THE LAWN?
The massive heat wave blanketing the nation and pushing temperatures into the 100’s has affected it. Now take your sweatshirt off.
WILL WE BE USING THE BUS TO GET AROUND?
No. But a red wagon will be delivered soon and we can pull each other around to various destinations.
WHY IS THERE A GAS SMELL IN THE GARAGE?
We believe it is terrorists who want to get rid of old people first because we know the most.
WILL THE GOSSIP STOP?
No. It is the only real entertainment we have. Try to think of is as a replacement for TV’s soap operas. As on TV, everything is greatly exaggerated.
WILL THE FIGHTING STOP?
No! It is our version of the Saturday night fights. We just don’t know the final results until Monday morning.
WHO PUT YOU IN CHARGE?
A divine act. As a descendant of royalty is seems to be my birthright, and I humbly accept this great gift of responsibility.
WHEN WILL THE NEW ELECTRIC DOORS BE INSTALLED?
How much time do you have?
CAN I GET ASSISTANCE TO PAY FOR MY MEAL AT THE BISTRO?
What! No, absolutely not. Friends are already paying for the limousine ride. How generous do you thing we are? We’re on a fixed income also.
WILL WE GET A NEW EXECUTVE DIRECTOR FOR OUR ORGANIZATION?
No. This is the punishment on earth you get for the life you have lived. It does not bode well for your future.
WHY DIDN’T SOCIAL SECURITY GIVE US A RAISE THIS YEAR?
I’m sorry, but the money was needed for our starving members of congress. And as you know, we get too much as it is.
WHY HAS THE WEATHER BEEN SO COLD THIS SUMMER?
With apologies to the rest of our country, it has averaged only a couple degrees lower than other years. Right, and I have a bridge to sell you. Now, where’s my winter coat?
WHY DOES THE GARBAGE MAN COME SO EARLY?
That is the wrong question. It should be why does he constantly drop the dumpster at 5:30 a.m.? I don’t know, but am organizing a group to fork his lawn. However, I cannot participate as once I get down, I cannot get up.

I hope you now have a better understanding of issues we face at The Home.