WON THE PRICE IS RIGHT

Life is hoppin’ around here. I got to see and feel Maria rejection first hand. As far as I knew, we were good. I went to the upstairs lounge this afternoon to work on the puzzle. Maria and Gail were playing dominos. Things were pretty quiet. I greeted them both and then got out of their way.

There was a new clock by the puzzle table. I asked Maria if she bought it. No, it came from the apartment of the lady who just passed away. Then Gail asked if she got the TV. Yes, and several others things. She began through the list: shelving, a stool, kitchen items, the clock, a chair and A couple of others things if I remember right. Gail asked where she was going to put all these things. The TV is 48” so is sitting on a long credenza in the living room. She said she moved the other TV into her bedroom with her little one. She has two eyes so maybe she plans to watch a different station with each eye while going to sleep. Good luck.

She assured everyone that she had the perfect place for everything. I wanted to know what she did with her 36” TV case, but didn’t ask. Gail pushed a bit and told her she was clearing out things so there wouldn’t be so much for her daughter to have to take care of, Maria was shocked by that. It’s not your problem. Who cares what happens after you die. Her philosophy was very clear.

I heard part of her comments about helping clean the apartment over the weekend and how generous they were to offer her anything she wanted. It wasn’t quite like that. Another helper had a completely different story.

Then Olivia arrived and walked over to Maria. The domino games ended, Gail came over to the puzzle table and Olivia and Maria we talking very secretively. The irony is that they were mortal enemies three months ago. I would love to know what changed. Maria does not forgive. Maria must thing she is the only one who will take her to the casino.

I have suspected for sometime that we had another tenant who was wearing on everyone’s nerves. This lady took over my spot getting the free bread on Wednesday mornings. She cannot stop telling the leader of the team what to do and how to do it. She needed help hanging some pictures in her apartment today so the head bread lady went to help. The control was exhausting. That relationship is about to fall apart. The problem I face is at our monthly “Meal Out” event. Once a month we go to a restaurant. She always comes, but no one wants to sit near her and I have been asked by several to talk to her. I have been avoiding the inevitable. She complains about many things, calls the waiter and gets up from the table to go and tell the waited she is waiting for water. People feel embarrassed. They don’t want her to come. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. You see I don’t want her to come either. I may cancel the open call to eat out and invite a small group — that ought to get a lot of people mad. Better not!

Whoa is me, for I am undone — or I will be before this week is out. I need to talk to the bread lady and also attend the large group-counseling meeting for Chas and Olivia. I think I’ll go back to bed and be sick the day of the big meetings. I used to physically be able to make my self sick in grade school.

LET THERE BE PEACE

The weekends are often rather uneventful. It’s usually my own fault — I stay in my room. I clean things up, sleep a little extra and read — mostly. Today I spent time on a picky little job. I am grateful for the food and other items one can get at the food bank, but sometimes the hygiene bags, which are grab bags – no peaking, just picking – are a mixed bag. They try to provide shampoo, conditioner and toothpaste every time. It’s great I love to get whatever I can. All large bottles are only half full. They divide the contents for two people. But the tiny little travel bottles do get annoying. So today I emptied all those little bottles into large bottles and ended up throwing away a half a brown grocery bag full of empties. I had not more room in my storage space.

But tonight, Gail came to update me on the Maria situation. She said Maria is ignoring us. Could be. It has been so peaceful I hadn’t really noticed. This issue goes back to a few weeks ago when Kiki asked Lulu to cook a turkey she had. Maria tends to think of Kiki as her personal property. She orders her around and tells her what to do, when to do it and how to do it. She frequently calls her stupid, ignorant, idiot and other such endearing names. This time and for the first time, Kiki has stayed away from Maria. Maria already has little to do with me, Gail and Chas. Alice stays out of her way and has done so for a very long time. She played cards with her in the past but got tired of Maria’s attitude. When she lost all these people, three who had cars, she turned to Lulu to take her places.

She talked Lulu into taking her to 7-11 for their grand opening and the free hot dogs. Lulu had another errand she needed to run and it was agreed that would be all right. So Maria, Kiki and Lulu were off to 7-11. Maria directed Lulu all the way. I may be helpful to know that 7-11 is 8 blocks from here with one turn. She treated Lulu like she knew nothing. Lulu has lived in this area all her life.

They got their hotdogs and Maria wanted to know where they would eat. Lulu suggested the car. There is no place to sit inside 7-11 and the car wasn’t acceptable. They left the 7-11 parking lot without a clear decision. Lulu planned to head to her next errand. But the directions began to fly. Turn left. Lulu turned right without comment. There is no left turn coming out of the 7-11 parking lot. She was directed to cut through the banks lot to get back on track. Lulu turned the opposite way. Corrective instructions continued. Finally Lulu simply brought them back to the Home. They were not happy, but Lulu let Maria know she would never offer her a ride again. She was demanding, controlling and mean to Kiki. I am assuming that did not sit well

There is only one driver left in our building that will take her, a new lady without history. The rest of us are being boycotted. No one is disappointed in the least. Maria has also taken up with one from the other building who has a car. She has also hooked up again with Olivia. So she now hates Chas. It’s not that Chas has done anything to Maria, but one way to find friends is to dislike the same people. As long as you have common enemy’s life is good.

I don’t know what to do. I only have friends. I have no enemies. What a dilemma

ARE YOU MY GIRLFRIEND?

Gail and I were sitting in the upstairs lounge picking away at a new puzzle. She likes doing the edge and I like working on a big splash of a single color, red this time. We were talking about where in the area it was snowing. There was a warning of snow all over our area but it was still dry here. That’s what happens when you are almost at sea level. We both have daughters and their families living in the foothills of the Olympic Mountains. We wondered if they had snow yet. They always get it when we don’t.

We were interrupted when Clint came and ask if we knew if Sylvia was his girlfriend. We nearly choked to death in an attempt to keep from laughing. Clint is different and I really don’t want to mock him. He has difficulty understanding and cannot interpret meaning when it comes to women. While he will tell you he has had a lot of girlfriends, his interpretation of that phrase is any girl who looks at him. He thinks the cleaning lady the agency sent over is one of his girlfriends. I doubt she know that.

He is nice enough, lives in his own world, but is very anxious for female companionship. He is in his 50’s but has never had that experience.

He knew enough to know that we would not be able to tell him how Sylvia felt so asked where she was. With some fear we told him she was down the hall, last room on the right.
Go and asked, Gail said. Can I? Sure! That way you will know for sure. Sylvia is a strong woman and not easily intimidated and we were sure she could handle the question. He went and knocked. She answered and he asked, are you my girlfriend? No Clint, I’m not. He turned and walked away without further adieu.

He returned and sat back down near the puzzle table. He asked Gail her name. She hesitated and I knew she didn’t want to say. So I said, her name is George and she is my girlfriend. Oh! Gail picked up the clue and said, please excuse me. I must go make our supper now. She left, Clint then said she’s nice! Yes she is. But she is my girl so leave her alone. OK! Then he wandered off.

In just a few minutes Sylvia came down the hall laughing which encouraged the rest of us to laugh. Do you know what Clint did? Yes, we sent him down to ask the question? What did you do to encourage him? I was just trying to be nice to him. Very few people talk to him so I was just trying to be nice. That will teach you. Stop the niceness.

We left her with the assurance that we will happily tell everyone we see about her new relationship with Clint. She laughed. It will get around, won’t it? You betcha!

LOST WORK

It’s been a few days since I wrote. The bad news is that I had a few rough days physically and barely left my room. As a result, I didn’t talk to anyone over the long weekend so do not know what is going on. Well, I don’t know much.

I was back at it and had a great walk to the park this morning only to return and watch the heavy hail that arrived 30 minutes later. It got dark and gloomy. Had to open my blinds fully just to get enough light in my place. When my walking group left about 10:30 the sun was shining and the wind was still. Now they are warning us about a major snowstorm headed our way over night. Since we are only about 20’ above sea level and in some sort of low spot — but we could be missed all together. I will never figure out the weather patterns on the coast.

I broke my own heart today. The March newsletter is due at the head office by the end of the day Wednesday. No problem. There wasn’t much to do to finish it up. I just needed to finish a profile article on my next-door neighbor. I wanted to add a cartoon to the front page as well. I found what I wanted, cleaned it up and pasted it on the front. As I usually have to do, I retyped the caption so the words would be large enough to read. When I was finished I needed to make lunch so I would be ready for my Bible study group at 1:00. I closed the newssheet and then closed the cartoon. At the time, I thought I was closing the newssheet and it asked if I wanted to replace the old one. I said yes and it closed. As soon as I did it I realized I had replaced the entire newssheet with a cartoon. I lost it all. Since I work on the paper from the beginning of the month, I am not exactly sure of what I lost. So instead of eating I started over with what I remembered.

I knew there were four announcements. I could remember three. Not too bad. There were three files expanding on calendar dates. I knew all of those and there was a cartoon. I still had that on file. Column three was the first thing I did at the beginning of the month. It was jokes about proofreading. Everyone knows that is one of my many weaknesses. I have no idea where I found it or where to find it. I will have to find something new for that column.

Also, I decided I didn’t like the cartoon chosen for the cover. I have a lot to do tomorrow.

There was a day when I loved these rush deadlines. I admit to loving the pressure, the need for instant creativity, and the satisfaction of meeting the deadline. I usually have a month for my one creative project and this is the first time I feel the old adrenalin rush to meet a deadline. It’s fun. I don’t want it all the time, but knowing I have no time to waste is a kick.

I know that sounds strange. But for years I really enjoyed working 60+ hours a week with deadline upon deadline. Not everything was to the standard I liked, But I loved that something had to be done by —. I don’t miss those days at all, but I remember them fondly.

HAIR

Women get their hair done everyday. While at coffee this morning one left near the beginning to walk across the street to get the do. Shortly there after another returned with her hair done. When these women returned there were plenty of sweet and kind comments about how nice it looked, how beautiful!

I got my hair cut on Wednesday. It was cut to close on the upper sides. I generally wear my hair combed back and swept to the left. This is a far cry from my youth years when I changed my hairstyle more often than my underwear. That was one of the joys of having very think hair that would do just about anything. I had all the specialties cuts of the day. I don’t remember them all but some of my favorites were a crew cut, flattop, ducktails, and a college cut. Loved the ducktails. The college cut made me look like a professional. Professional what, I don’t know.

With my hair short on the sides and near the top, both sides stuck out like the pinfeathers of a freshly plucked chicken. I wore it that way yesterday and it looked like I just crawled out of bed. So today I combed it all forward and waxed a few strands straight up on the crown. If I could have added a few bold freckles I would have looked like Alfalfa from the Our Gang series of short films from the 30’s and 40’s. Do I get compliments? No. What happened to your hair? I changed the style? Why? You look like that kid from the movies. Alfalfa? Yea, him! That was the look I was going for. It looks weird. But you thought her new look was nice. Why isn’t mine nice? You’re kidding, right? It makes you look like a kid. That should be a good thing. Naw — it’s not. You’re old. I know. Don’t remind me. At least I still have most of my hair. Wish it were white, but it's just salt and pepper.

I guess that’s it for my hair acceptance. If I go back to the old style it will slick out on the sides. It’s just too short to do anything with it. Tomorrow is Saturday. I won’t comb it at all. I most likely won’t even leave my apartment. My place needs to be cleaned up anyway. I haven’t figure out what I will do on Sunday. I may just put a lot of gooey, sticky, stiff stuff in it and pull it up in funky little spikes. Its all the rage with the under 20 crowd and it looks more mature than the Alfalfa look. But Monday, I’m going to comb it all forward and grease it straight up in the front for the Beaver look. Actually, I liked Wally better. Didn’t care much for the Beav. He was weird. I wanted Wally to be my brother. He was cool.

TYPICAL COFFEE TALK

I figure it is time to get real. If you have followed my blog for a while you need to know that life at The Home if more than gossip and infighting. It is certainly more than my moments of inspiration to wax wise about some philosophical thing. I confess, some are written to fill space as nothing exciting happened. But here comes the truth.

On a typical non-gossipy and non-fighting morning there is a routine that precedes the interesting talk. There are typically 3-5 arriving for coffee from my building to the commons room (dining room) of the larger building. The general conversation begins the same with each of us. Its cold out there! You see in general conversation it is always best to start with the weather and as of late it has been cold here. Since a small group from that building is already present, they will hear this conversation 3-5 times. They may even finish the comment. Then there are times when each new arrival will be egged on to repeat what everyone already knows. Someone will probably say, how’s the weather out there? Needless to say, this goes on longer than necessary. Two of the women who come will comment on how cold it is out there until temperatures reach the 80’s.

When the sun comes out there is great discussion about what it is, where it came from, should we report the bright light in the sky or should we hid. Someone will say it is the sun and others will ask what that is. It’s an important part of old people humor. We always laugh (but it is getting harder). Wind is also a discussion point and lately we have talked about snow. We get our news from the other side of the largest inlet. They have been warning of snow all week. So we talk about whether we will get snow. We have had snow, but it is exceedingly rare. We are about five feet above sea level. The other side is mostly hills and mountains.

Weather talk moves on to water. You see, there is a body of water across the street in clear view of our commons room. We are at the end of a large inlet. Its ocean water that comes from a larger inlet and that from one even larger and finally from the largest inlet that gets its water from the Pacific Ocean (have you got it yet-get a map and you might be able to find me). The talk initially centers on the smoothness of the water or the height of the waves. It may include whether the tide is in or out. From there we talk about the quantity of the ducks and whether they are local or just visiting during their migration one way or the other. Any stranger in the water is noted and discussed endlessly. Finally one asks if anyone has seen our eagle. He lives in the giant evergreen across the street and you can see him fishing from time to time.

Conversations then switch to the empty lot next to us. Usually it is about the squirrels running the fence or looking for food. In the summer the lot will be filled with blackberries. It should be a good crop this summer since the owner chopped them all down to the ground at then end of this past season — a county legal enforcement.

One time we watched a mama raccoon and two babies playing right at the fence. The area where they had their home had been cleared away so they were off to find a new place but were having one last romp before departing. They were a kick. We talked about them for weeks.

At the fence line is a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Its root is right under the chain link fence. When it is windy the tree is nearly flat to the ground. It stands straighter on calm and patriotic days. Many have talked about “we should tie it up” but no one does it. Volunteers you know. There are none. Someone else should do it. I don’t have string so don’t ask me.

The last normal items are health reports. Some residents are asked about and new illnesses are reported and then there is a round of personal health reports. Of those gathered I have had the worst time lately so the focus has been on me. I can hardly wait for that to end. I’m fine. Yes I’m really fine. Yes I would tell you if I wasn’t. Yes, I’m wearing my ankle brace. Yes, I’m taking my medicine. Yes, I avoid salt (I just finished my bacon today). Yes I’m losing weight (I doubt anyone can really notice but I did wear a larger sweatshirt today). No, no, I am really OK. I see the doctor again today. They will eventually check up on the habits and practices of all that are present. The mother doctors are in full attack mode. Since I am a helpless man who cannot take care of himself I really need their help. Lord, deliver me.

HIGH COUNCIL

I went to a pre-counseling session yesterday with the goal to be part of a team that moderates a healing between Olivia and Chas. I was nervous as soon as I saw the group and had limited expectation of anything of significance being accomplished.

I have never been a fan of this approach to problem solving. While the members present have all listened to one or the other central member, it is safe to say we all have a bias against one the other.

We were informed that each additional meeting of the group would grow. The two professional coordinators of this conflict resolution group were present. One did all the talking and the other all the note taking. In addition, Olivia and Chas each invited two people.

The content of the meeting will use a Rogerian approach. Carl Rogers is considered the father of "client-centered therapy," Rogers has said that the counselor is to be "nondirective" in the sessions--his job is to reflect the counselee's responses back to him and, thus, set up a catalytic atmosphere of acceptance. Such an environment is supposed to allow the client to get in touch with the innate resources within him for successfully dealing with life and developing self-esteem.

This approach takes forever and accomplishes very little (in my humble opinion). It works this way: I can’t stand Olivia touching my things. Do I hear you saying you can’t stand Olivia touching your things? You bet your sweet bibby (old Laugh-in comment not actually said).

We had barely got through introductions when Karen launched into her fear and ager with Chas. Gertrude joined the condemnation round and the counselor let is go on for 45 minutes. Gail tried to interrupt a couple of times with some degree of success. I listened, fascinated by the anger. I saw no way this group would facilitate a healing when two of them could see no fault on the part of Olivia.

The counselor finally turned to me and asked what I was thinking. With reluctance I reiterated why I believed we were here and went back to the straw that broke the camels back.

One afternoon Chas was sitting by the fireplace drinking coffee and eating a role. He left to help clean up a bit in the kitchen. In doing so, he left an empty paper plate. A few moments later Olivia was bringing his empty place to the garbage. Chas was coming out of the kitchen, saw was she was doing and asked if that was his plate. It was, she said and he attacked her demanding that she never touch his things.

Here’s what none of us know for sure. What was Olivia’s motivation? Was she being helpful, or was she angry and hoped to annoy him. Her defendants believe she was being helpful. I hope that was her motivation, but past experience says she might have been trying to annoy him. But I do not know for sure any more than they do. We do not know who spoke first – Olivia or Chas. We do not know specifically what she said. We do know that neither likes the other and I would not put it past either one for wanting to start a fight.

Karen and Gertie could not believe Olivia would ever do that, so Gail and I regaled them with a list of the old antics she has done in our building and her denial only later to admit she was the guilty one. Frankly they are both guilty.

When asked did we want to continue with future meetings, I hesitated. I believe the session could turn into a bash Chas hate fest. He has changed. Few see it or believe it. I do not believe he has the emotional capacity to cope with a couple hours of condemnation and attacks.

This led to another 35 minutes of what would be accomplished and everyone agreed this would not be a bash Chas session. I still do not believe that as the group will grow by four more people and another four will be included at the following session.

I could not believe that. Every time new people are added, old ground needs to be covered. I was assured this works and he has years of experience to support that. I still have doubts but I will go to the meetings to help prevent the stabbing of Caesar by Brutus and others of the senate. I suspect several will exit with blood on their hands, but I will try to at least keep him alive.