BOREDOM

It’s been boring around here lately. I went to coffee yesterday and there was nobody there. Well, I was there. It happened again today — and we get a delivery from the food bank today” bread and sweets, always several days old. That is the only thing that keeps me from pigging out. Maybe not the only thing. As I was leaving, one personal arrived. I kept on going. I had already been there 30 minutes.

I blew it on Sunday. I don’t consider that I’m on a diet. I don’t use that word. When I spoke about diet in the past it was only a few days before I shut my mouth because I had fallen off the wagon. When you’re not on a wagon, it is very hard to fall off. While I didn’t fall off the wagon, I changed my eating habit — temporarily I hope.

I really didn’t plan to mess up. I know there have been times in the past that I have planned to abandon all hope, but this time it came from boredom. I don’t usually eat when I’m reading. I hate getting messy fingers all over the book. It smudges the pages and makes it hard to read. That’s the same reason I don’t like to dog-ear my books. I don’t know why this matters to me; I’m really quite sloppy. I’ve got this pile of Christmas decorations still lying on the floor of my bedroom. It would take five minutes to put away, but — I guess I don’t have time.

What a joke. That’s all I do have. The main commodity of retirement is time. But if you listen around, you would never believe it. They are all busy. Everyone but me. I asked a member of the new activities committee if she wanted to ride out to Poulsbo with me to check out where we will be able to park the bus when we take a group there next month. She could not go because she had such a busy day. She had dishes in the sink and needed to clean her apartment. If I were to wash dishes everyday (I don’t), they would be done in just a few moments. For me, I want to make a big deal out of dish washing so I wait until I have no clean dishes left. That way, washing dishes is an important and meaningful task. It’s an event. I need more events in my life.

When I clean house, it is also an event. It takes time because the older I get the less the mess bothers me. I suppose there is something wrong with this picture. I am very aware that cleanliness is next to Godliness. I have been trying to figure out how clean things were in Biblical times. You know, when they lived in the open, or in tents, or houses with dirt floors. I know I have less dirt than a house with a dirt floor. At least I think I do.

Maybe you noticed that I did not finish the story about messing up, messy fingers and what I ate. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. But I made popcorn. I know, I know. Popcorn is a healthy snack. Not always. I love it with real butter and salt. The butter is less of a problem than salt. I must watch my salt intake. I was careful. I didn’t use nearly the amount of salt as in the past. But I could certainly taste it. I even rubbed the edges of the bowl with a few kernels to get every bit of salt I could. Do you know that feeling of having both guilt and joy. It was wonderful. But I will not fail again — At least not for a while.

A friend sent this little note to me and I thought I would pass it along. I liked it.

UP


Read until the end ... you’ll laugh UP a storm. 




This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is ‘ UP ’. It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].





It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is a toss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car. 





At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! 





To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with (UP to) a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP! Oh . . . one more thing:

Did that one crack you UP? Don’t screw UP. Send this link to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not . . . it’s UP to you. 



Now I’ll shut UP!

THE AFTERMATH

Why is putting up Christmas decoration so much more fun than taking them down? It takes far less time to remove them. I pitched in this morning to help take everything down and pack it in The Home’s storage space. I admit I was feeling a little tired, but I wasn’t sick. I have been dormant for nearly two weeks. I can’t do that any longer. Keep moving or freeze up. I was definitely locking up — joints not moving like they should. It was getting tired, but I stayed with the project. I needed to. My Christmas lights were on both trees.

I really hated the tree on the main floor. It was one of those where every branch had to be inserted in the trunk. We are not allowed live trees — fire hazard. Just as well. I would not have wanted to clean up the needles. I am not sure why these things come out of boxes so easily and do not seem to fit back in. We squished the branches as flat as we could and eventually got the box closed, but there is a big hump at the opening. There wasn’t much to do on the main floor. All the big ornaments standing and hangings had already been taken upstairs.

From there we went upstairs. There were only three of us working but as things came to a close and the ornaments were off the upstairs tree and the tree was laying on the floor in three sections, we sat down and began talking. Three more women joined us. It was light and fluffy stuff until it got around to my stay in the hospital. You could die. Yes, and I will — sometime.

I wish people would take the clues from the person they are discussing and stop, but all these mothers moved into Doctor Mom mode. I hate that. I was cared for in the hospital and given very clear and helpful instructions. I even have them written down. Why they felt compelled to correct and add their input is beyond me. I felt like screaming. One of them is so annoying I want to run everything I see her coming.

“How are you?” This is not a greeting type comment. It is a thorough investigation into everything about me. She always, and I mean always askes what she can do for me. Nothing, nothing, nothing! She does not get the hint. “I’m going out, is there anything I can get for you? “Yes, a new Corvette.” Slight smile – “No seriously.” “No, thank you.”

Menus were tossed around; the best types of food were discussed. They clarified that a low salt diet did not mean — no salt (I KNOW). They suggested alternative spices and assured me that each one was wonderful and that I would like them. How do they know I would like them? I almost decided to hate them just because they assured me I would like them.

My “mother” just left. She had been out and returned with chestnuts that she just knew I would love. I disappointed her. They taste like something someone else chewed and spit out. She bought them special for me. She had been to Trader Joes and brought me a list of everything in their store that was low salt. I was expected to be excited. There was so much on the list and the print was so small I needed a magnifying class to read it. When I could make out some words, I was aware that even things a normal person would assume had no salt was included. Maybe some fruit juice has added salt, but the list assured me that there was no salt added.

I don’t mind a comment or two, but when the conversation will not stop they should have figured out that I had tuned out some time ago. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that the advice was unsolicited and I DON’T CARE.