I’m very interested in contradiction. It’s necessity, it’s function, and it’s purpose. There seems to be a lot of that going on around here.
I had my finished newsletter at coffee yesterday to ask a friend to proof it before I sent it off. My primary proofreader was away on vacation. My spelling of ukulele was brought into question. The proofreader wondered if it should be spelled with an “e” as in ukelele. I commented that I ran it through Spell-check, as I was unsure myself. After that, a comment was voice from across the room, “You cannot trust Spell-check. It is often wrong. The word is spelled with an “e”. There was a confidence in the voice and a sternness of tone. If I didn’t know better I was have felt talked down to. Of course, The Home is full of loving, compassionate and extremely helpful people. Whatever! I never take these things for granted, I checked again and Spell-check was correct. It is spelled with a “U.” Knowing that I always have the kind, loving and gracious response I wanted to march down the hall, knock on her door and tell her she was wrong. I didn’t, but I wanted to.
My emotional response had everything to do with tone and nothing to do with the words. I have talked to this same person on several occasions about her tone. It is judgmental and harsh. When I was coaching The Portrait Players there was a little acting exercise where a few simple sentences were given as a quote and the actors were to change the meaning without changing the words. It’s easy. Try it. This was all done to prove that tone is almost more important than the words.
Even when I am sure I am right, I don’t fight these “superior” people. I’ve learned my lesson.
I got in a huge vocal battle with a lady here over the use of the word only. For me it began as a joke. For her it seemed to be a matter of pride. She was frustrated that we only get one TV choice at The Home. It’s cable, and we do not get anon-cable option. Take what they give and what they charge or do without TV. She commented that she hated this town because that one option is no option. While that is true for The Home, it is not true for the town or area. We had been talking and laughing about the situation. Satellite is much cheaper in our area. But the owners make cable our only option. They do not want those big ugly dishes on the roof.
She kept up the argument about no options in the area so I, like a helpful fellow apartment dweller, attempted to set her strait. And prove to her they were options in the area, just not in out building. When I realize she was angry, I calmed down a bit, but did not let go. She was wrong and I was going to prove it.
The outcome of this insignificant issue was that she did not speak to me for a year. I guess I won. I was right. But is a stupid argument. The purpose of correction her began as a joke and ended in bitterness.
I guess I’ve been schooled in frivolous correction. She knew what she meant, I knew what she meant, but we fought anyway.
