I HAVE COME TO AN END HERE

Well friends, I’ve considered this for a long time and things change. When I began this blog nearly two years ago, I had a very clear focus. I thought life here at The Home” was funny. In many ways I still do. No doubt some comments came across as mean spirited. That was never my intent, but all do not share my sense of humor.

“The Home” humor has now become a commonplace routine that has become boring. I have drifted away from that some time ago and moved on to whatever was on my mind. For those of you who read regularly you are aware that I had very little to nothing to say at times. I enjoyed talking about churches and government especially as it related to social security. I will stop griping about the issue if they will stop calling it an entitlement and return all the money they took from me. One of these days I am going to figure out exactly how much that was.

I have enjoyed writing and will continue to write, but I am going to base it on growing up in the 50's. The "Happy Days" from the point of view of a kid growing up in a Christian home. I had a blast and some of you will identify with those days.
Check me out at www.wildernesswandering-csw.blogspot.com

ENTITLEMENT - BALDERDASH

I received this in an email. Admittedly I have not checked the math. Not that that would help. I’m lousy at math. All I know is that this resonates with my spirit. I have said it before and I say it again. Social Security is not an entitlement program. That is my money they are still withholding I Paid social security for age 18 until age 58. I paid not social security for five years near the beginning while I was in school. I never made enough money after age 58 and began collecting social security at 62 so I could survive. So I paid into this “entitlement” program for 35 years and most of those years I paid the entire amount as no employer matched my funds. I was consider “self employed.”

They took my money with a promise the invest it and return it to me at retirement. Using the word “entitlement” is a manipulative attempt to make me and everyone else believe we are getting something for nothing. I am getting nothing for free. With my “benefits (both social security and medicare) I still do not come close to receiving the value of my investment minus any interest my money should have earned.

This is not an “entitlement,” it’s my money. The government forced me to contribute as an investment in my future retirement and now wants to steal what is left. Theives.

THE EMAIL

This is another example of what Rick Perry called "TREASON in high places"!!!

Remember, not only did you contribute to Social Security but your employer did too. It totaled 15% of your income before taxes. If you averaged only $30K over your working life, that's close to $220,500.

If you calculate the future value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer's contribution) at a simple 5% (less than what the government pays on the money that it borrows), after 49 years of working you'd have $892,919.98.

If you took out only 3% per year, you'd receive $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years (until you're 95 if you retire at age 65) and that's with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit! If you bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you'd have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month.

The folks in Washington have pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madhoff ever had.

Entitlement my butt, I paid cash for my social security insurance!!!! Just because they borrowed the money, doesn't make my benefits some kind of charity or handout!!

Congressional benefits ---- free healthcare, outrageous retirement packages, 67 paid holidays, three weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days, now that's welfare, and they have the nerve to call my social security retirement entitlements?

We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless.

In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey. And now Pakistan ......home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!

They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when it’s time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place? Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other countries.

Sad isn't it?

BIG MIRACLE AND OTHER THOUGHTS

I'm driving the BUS for The Home now. I like it. I have to pull myself up to get in the drivers seat. It is a little high. Then when I get out I have to get into position so I can drop to the ground about 8 inches. I do wish my legs were longer. We have had two successful outings with the wheelchairs going. You can’t believe how happy that makes me. We left twice before without those two as I could not get the lift to work. I cannot take the disappointment they faced. I think I have the lifts little secrets figured out now.

I got a note from My friend Brent that he and Liz, his wife, are extras in the movie Big Miracle. He was my roommate on my cruise to Alaska a few years back and then he and his wife moved to Alaska a few months later. They auditioned as extras and were accepted and appear in six or seven scenes. My whole family plans to go see Big Miracle on Tuesday as a family Valentines gift to each other. I was in Poulsbo with a group today just to look around and enjoy this quaint little tourist town so bought a few very nice chocolates for the night. We all plan to study Brent's appearance on the screen schedule so we don't miss him in the movie. I believe his longest time on screen is the restaurant scene behind Drew Barrymore. He and his wife are eating. I do wonder if they actually ate anything. We are all looking forward to it.

I preach again on this weekend. Brent sent me a note earlier talking about messy lives. I am using that as a theme for this series. No one gets through life without some mess or another. Mostly we all have several messes. No one is untouched. I will use examples from some of the great characters of Scripture: Adam and Eve (they first parents had their son kill his brother – how hard is that?), Abraham (the father of our faith told what we call a little white lie. Sarah was his sister, very far removed, but he neglected to mention she was also his wife), King David (where do we start – the man after God’s on heart was an adulterer a murderer, and a weak minded man when it came to his daughter’s rape), Peter (denied Christ three times – I have heard several people say “I would not have done that.” Really), Paul (He got so angry at Barnabas for wanting to take John Paul on a missionary trip, that it ended their team relationship, but expanded the mission), and maybe even my own life. I am starting with a clip from "Hoarders." I also took a few shots of my own apartment at it's worse, but don't know yet if I will use them. I suppose it will be a matter of whether I am willing to be embarrassed.

While I reconsidered off and on right up through Friday, I am not applying for the Resident Commissioners position with the Housing Authority. There is just way too much unknown. I have no idea what I would be getting into. While I would like to see some things changed, I like the ministry I have here. I have added driving the bus. That is enough for now.

Things are going fairly well around here. It’s calm. There were even two mortal enemies on the bus to Poulsbo today and were able to completely avoid each other so there were no conflicts. That's a step in the right direction.

I have also decided to return the PC computer I bought. Maybe I never said I bought a new computer, but I talked about it. I really cannot afford it. I will muddle along with my love-able old Mac. It may be on its last legs, but so am I. I will keep it until it dies. When that happens, I will most likely give up the newsletter I do and go back to using the Library computers for emails and blogs. When that happens I will save $50-60 on the cable line. That will be a good thing.

HOMELESS

I had every intention of writing last night, but I got so caught up in Richard LeMieux book “Breakfast at Sally’s” that I was up reading until nearly two o’clock a.m. and still didn‘t finish. So I just kept on reading this morning until I was done. What a book!

Richard gave me a whole new understanding of homelessness and the broken, depressed lives that haunt those streets. My heart began to break. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I clearly reconsidered those needy people and their struggles.

I have heard the complaints that they are lazy, dirty, stinky, disgusting excuses for human beings. They are nothing but drug addicts and alcoholics. Why don’t they get a job? Richard takes us on his year and half journey on the streets of Bremerton. He had a van to keep him dry (most of the time) and his dog Willow to keep him company. I wept for his deep depression and enormous rejection. He was a wealthy man who lost everything: his business, his wife and his children. Not him alone, but those he met.

With no home address, no phone and no bank account most essentials are blocked for them. Job applicants are told, “We’ll call you.” Apartments require first and last months rent and the present one. None have that kind of money. Richard tells the story of a physically deformed homeless man given a check for his birthday. A friend at a tire store have him $20 so he could buy a headset to listen to his country music. He was thrilled and asked if Richard would take him to the bank. They went where the signer had a bank account. They required two pieces of identification. He had one outdated bus pass. That was not good enough. I hate banks. I hate the rules had limit the needy. They had the power to see if that account had the money. But that was never considered.

I am a friend with Katrina who now lives at The Home. Before moving here she had lived in her van for nearly a year. She knows Richard and also knows all the places where to get a free warm meals. She has lived here nearly a year now and still struggles with deep depression, She has a broken down van that is not presently running and she does not have the money to have it repaired. She will not get rid of it because she fears she will be homeless again.

Katrina had a father who abused her, then a husband who repeated the horror. She ran. She was frightened and rightly so. I got to know her during the time she helped me on the bread runs. She required much of my patience. She is loud, dogmatic authoritative and a devoted democrat who is always right. She would not be making it now if it were not for government programs. In actuality, none of us in The Home would be here without government programs. I understand democrats a little better.

Katrina often runs to my apartment when she is nervous, upset or confused. Monday was one of those days. Her rent was increased by $40. She was panicked that homelessness was back in her future. The rent was raised, but she had not yet heard what her assistance would be. She can handle it for a while by cutting even more of her necessities back.

I have always known she was depressed and fearful. I am not sure I understood her fears. Her loudness comes from years of fighting and arguing with those in her life. Her desire to be accepted is so great she often jumps into conversations with very dogmatic statements and feels compelled to tell everyone how to do just about everything. That comes from her desire to be helpful. When she is instructing me about my health, good, and exercise — I listen and thank her whether it is helpful or not. She is very kind and gives to others beyond her means, She had volunteered for an extended time at The Salvation Army serving meals. She is a giver because she knows what it is to do without.

Many of the homeless view Jesus as one of them. He had no place to lay his head. He had no home and he was a wanderer not knowing from where his next meal would come. But most are angry with God. They are angry at the lack of compassion, understanding and kindness; but they mostly are angry with God for not helping them get out of their situation. God wants to help them, but He does it through people. Through me!

I am a changed person. Read the book.

A MEAL AND SALVATION

Today a group went for our monthly “Meal Out.” We went to the Airport Diner. They have the best fish and chips. I was approved to drive the company bus back in June, but this was just my second time on a trip. Finally letting me drive seemed to take forever.

The bus holds 14 people. We had fourteen sign up to go. However, we had one person drive. It ended up being a good thing. Maria is still made at me. This has been going on for nearly one year. She does not forgive and the bigger problem is that it is her fault. She had no intention of riding in the bus with me driving. I have to laugh. She acts like a child and pouts when I am around. I ran into her at the mailbox a couple of days ago and said, “Good Morning” as cheerfully as I could. She frowned and turned her head away and said nothing. I expected that. So when I left I said, “Now you have a wonderful day.” I am determined to treat her with love regardless of her responses. In fact, maybe she isn’t mad at me, but embarrassed by her own actions. I think I’ll choose to see it that way.

I have tried twice before to take wheelchairs on the bus, but the lift has never worked. Twice I have left a couple of wheelchair tenants while the rest went off. I hate that. But I have since learned all the little tricks to make that lift work. So I was very excited as Chas was able to go with us, and the Airport Diner is one of his favorite places. In fact, I was giddy. I had trouble with some of the straps that hold the chair in place. If I had two chairs, we would have had a problem. I could not find all the straps needed for two chairs.

I’m reading “Breakfast at Sally’s” by Richard LeMieux. Wish I could pronounce his last name. It is the story of a homeless man’s inspirational journey. He was homeless in Bremerton so the book is having a wonderful impact in our area.

I just finished the chapter titled “I Get Saved.” It reminded me of everything I hate about pushy overly religious churches. They over use the God word’s, which only makes me wonder if his faith is real. I was so irritated with the pastor that I wanted to go find him and punch his lights out. He owned a car dealership, repossessed cars and was a slum landlord. And he and his wife jetted all over the country for entertainment. He loved the shows in Las Vegas. I know all are not bad, but the way he talked about women I could see him going to gawk at the showgirls (my imagination). Worst was is clear distain for the poor,

Richard was asked to attend the church to meet a woman who was going to provide a dry place for him to live for a while. At the service he was called out by name to be saved. This tiny extreme Pentecostal church all ended up laying hands on him and praying for his salvation. The only way he could figure to end this was to “accept Jesus.” I didn’t blame him. I blamed the church. I know how he felt. I have had that same experience as a child. It is threatening. You come to Jesus out of fear, and rarely do it with a sincere heart.

You can’t hear my pain, anger and frustration, but emotionally I would like to put the church out of business. They call themselves Bible believing fundamentalist and I find that embarrassing. I want to find anew term to identify with. I think I’ll just call myself a God lover.

WE'RE PEOPLE TOO!

Katrina came to see me yesterday. She was confused about her February rent bill. She had made her normal monthly payment by the due date, but got a notice that she had not paid the full amount. She had contacted the office to find out why. She was told she had been sent a notice of a rent increase for an additional $40 a month. Se had not received the letter informing her of the change, so asked for a copy of the letter. She was given copies of two communications and they were both different. One was a year old. Strangely, it was the higher price. She read in one of the letters that the funding for this subsidized program would run out at the end of 2012. To even last till that point, rents had to be raised.

On the average, seniors received a social security increase of $35 a month this year. As soon as it was announced, we all wondered if we would have any more money with this increase, or would it all be taken away. The rent increase will consume it all and a little more. With the increase in income, several lost some of the food stamps money. Food had gone up. Most are literally further behind than last year.

We expected this. We were emotionally prepared for this. The rent increase is significantly higher than expected, but no one is shocked. Well, I am! Not at the rent increase that consumed the raise, but at how it is being handled. I will not be affected until November as I signed a year lease. But Katrina is the second person I know of who did not receive the notice of her rent increase and was asked to pay more, with the comment that they should have received notice. Maybe they should have, but they didn’t

Something is screwy in headquarters. We have always felt like they believed we were lucky and should be thankful that we have such a nice place to live. We are both lucky and thankful, but I believe we need to be treated as human beings — customers, not necessary evils. We are here because we need the financial assistance. That’s true, but it’s no excuse for treating us like we are a problem to them. If we left, they could fill our apartment immediately. So what. We all deserve respect, humane treatment, and kindness and dare I say love. All have suffered loss. Most are widowed. They have never been on their own before getting here. Many have never handled their finances. Many do not understand what is going on or why these things are happening and management is not telling anyone anything. “Read your contract” does not help. It may give them the right, but many don’t understand why the increase is so steep, or why no one will talk to them. This is the generation of direct and personal communication. They don‘t email and they don’t text. When they write a letter, they expect and answer. Being ignored is annoying.

I have been here three years. I have never met a board member and have not met the new hosing director or any of her immediate staff and she has been her since September, in another building of course. Our on site manager may not listen to us about any problems or concerns we have. It must be in writing so it can go to the big boys and girls. No one who has ever done that has had a response.

They are currently looking for applicants to serve on the Housings Board of Directors. They sent an application to everyone, but did not include a job description or outline of expectations. No one knows what the board does. If I believed there was even the slightest possibility of making life better for our people, I would apply even though I am “committeed” out after the hundreds I had sat in on. Too much talk and not enough action! The resident committee member is appointed. All the rest are elected. Most likely more concerned about reelection than people. I’m an old Christian education pastor and teacher. I still believe everything is about people, not programs. Regretfully we have no sense that the people here matter at all. Government — you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.

THREE TOPICS, ONE NOTE

I want to write tonight but am having a hard time focusing the right subject. Several are running through my head and none are stopping long enough for me to grab hold and go for the ride.

I mentioned that my dietician was concerned that my blood sugar readings were too low. So without consulting with my doctor I am conducting my own little experiment. I had already figured out that if I had low blood sugar numbers two hours after the evening meal, I needed to eat to keep the number high enough so as not to nearly faint. As a result I was defeating my weight loss goal. For the past few days, I have stopped taking my insulin at night and have not been eating after supper. The result is that I am not waking up in the middle of the night with low blood sugar and I am not waking up multiple times to go to the bathroom. I am also beginning to lose some weight. Minor, but a start. Also, I feel better. I have believed I have been over medicated for a long time. He and I are going to have a serious talk at my next appointment.

I blew it this morning at coffee during a discussion of what kind of fruit Adam and Eve ate. There were some interesting suggestions. All decided it was not an apple. I don’t know why they did that. Every picture I ever saw was of them eating an apple. Can all those artists be wrong? I cannot remember how the conversation shifted, but we moved on to a simple discussion of the first couple. One of our women always (yes always) expresses her opinion in a strong way with a tone that says I have spoken and that it the final word. Few ever challenge her as she will argue to the end that she is right — and she keeps getting louder and only gives up when everyone else shuts up. In her very dogmatic way she pronounced that Eve was Adam’s second wife. I was so dumbfounded I turned to her and said, “Where or earth did you ever get that absolutely ridiculous idea,” then explained the rib being taken from Adam and Eve being created. Maybe others of you have heard that second wife idea but that was a first for me and I felt that if it wasn’t challenged some would begin to wonder if it might be true. She answered my question with, “From my childhood.” This was the first time I ever heard her stop arguing. The discussion ended with everyone around the table confirming that they understood Eve was number one. I could not believe my ears and was ready to pull out the Bible and take they through Genesis 2-3.

The California Supreme courts decision this morning announcing that it was unconstitutional to have a referendum on Gay marriage so they overturned the previous decision to ban same sex marriage, mucked up my hackles – whatever those are. To me, it was just one more place where government was getting into it with the churches. I thought there was a separation of church and state. Technically, these may not be religious issue vs. the state, but it sure raises the roof in religious circles. The Catholic Church, The Mormon Church and National Association of Evangelicals have already spoken out. This may have even raised the profile of Mitt Romney, as he was very outspoken against gay marriage. It may have also sealed his fate with that voter group.

I spent a fair amount of time trying to see if scripture defines marriage. It doesn’t, but it has plenty to say about same sex relationships, and it is not supportive. In scripture all marriage in used in terms of a man and a woman. That is also true historically, culturally and politically. To me, marriage is just one more word the rainbow coalition wants to reinvent. They have already confiscated “gay,” “rainbow” and now they want marriage. I for one want them to have equal governmental rights. That would not benefit them alone, but same sex heterosexuals who share a life and home together. But I object to the term marriage being used. I don’t know what is wrong with civil union. I am sure they want to feel equal with heterosexuals. I will go along with that as soon as they produce offspring without outside help.. Leave “marriage” alone. They already have all the rights they have fought for in California. Find another word or expression like “shacking –up.”