MR. BIG

From 11-4, Mr. Big and his minions are meeting to decide theirs and our fat. They have invaded our common room, the only place large enough for them that is free. Naturally, we are not invited. The previous Mr. Big (lets call them old and new Big) gambled millions of dollars of corporate money on some fancy condos at the ferry terminal. It may have worked out had the economy not fallen into a black hole. As it turned out, the condos have not sold as expected and the corporation in debt 42 million. I suspect in some big business that’s a drop in the bucket. Here it is tragic, and especially since the sole goal of the corporation is to provide subsidized housing for senior citizens. The condos were not built for us, but to earn a profit. Big mistake.

As you can imagine, when anyone loses 42 million their tenure is short lived. The county had to assume the debt and everything is tight as a hornet trying to get through the eye of a needle (camel would be a major exaggeration). So a new Mr. Big is here fighting with the county board of directors who want them to move downtown into a smaller, but less expensive building. No one wants to leave here.

Years before the old Mr. Big, and back to a few Mr. Bigs of the past, they purchased a downtown building that has more stipulations as to who can rent than Carter has pills (never really knew how many pills Carter has). It must be rented to only government agencies or non-profits. They have been trying to rent the unrented remaining space for 2-3 years with no success. Who knows when (maybe 10-14 years ago) these buildings went up, they build a new and larger office next to our “Home Sweet Home.” They love that building, and why not! It faces the inlet, has free parking and space for them all. PROBLEM: They own more money on it than the one downtown. So the bigger powers than Mr. Big want them to move downtown and sell the one they are in. PROBLEM: No buyers or renters for either building are forth coming AND no one wants to leave the beautiful spot by the bay. Me either.

They were ordered to move by March 30. That failed. Then it was April 30, that also has failed. May 31 was the next absolute board deadline decision. Now it is July 1. They can’t even evict themselves, but if we were told to be out the Sherriff would be on our door putting our things in the street.

The residents are pretty safe. The Feds are protecting us and we all know how helpful that is. Should I be afraid, very afraid? We are assured none of this affects our homes. I’ve heard that just before everything falls apart. They forget we have been through all this stuff before.

The meeting has just got under way and Chas is at my door to see if I want to get a listen in by sitting in a nearby room. Of course I do. Be back in a few hours.

Well never went. Four hours to sit through 10 minutes of information is silly. We will find out in time. Employees will be unhappy about something and will whine to someone around here. Either that or someone will simply start a rumor that all will believe and past on as truth with their own twists and turns added. You have to love the gossip line. Beats any soap opera, plus its like a stage performance and I like live theater.

WHO EVER HEARD OF BLUE INDIANS

Hardly have time to get out and connect this week. Art show comes in 3 ½ weeks. Wanted eight new drawings, but may have six if I keep plugging away. I will have four portraits. Been working on this. Think I’ve gotten better. Must get the eyes right or the whole picture is off. The next most important is the mouth, with the nose third. When I’m on a roll, I love portraits. I will offer 8x10 head drawing at $200 matted but not framed. Larger ones with more of the body will go up from there. I’m not ready for multiple people yet. It’s a big challenge, but…

Granddaughter #2 is done and I’m beginning on my grandson. Got an order here in the building for a baby granddaughter. Looks fun.

I watched parts of Avatar last night. The special effects were great. But the story was a laugh. Really now – blue Indians who can defeat modern weapons with bows and arrows. They could not have done it without the animals. Since went has any animal but Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin come to the aid of people. Sure, Trigger came when he was called. So did Silver. Arnold the pig was OK to have around, but what did he ever do to help his owners? He was just a big joke. I have nothing against pets. Have even had some. We can teach some a few tricks, but the whole forest coming together to help blue Indians? HA! They would have turned on one another just for a quick snack.

The worst thing Avatar has done for the movies were to raise the price. So many went to see Avatar that the big new trend will be 3-D movies for everything. So get ready. The price is about to take another big leap. Yuck. I’m going to have to go back to drawing cartoons on the edge of my school textbooks just so I can afford a moving picture.

Went to see my best friend yesterday. He gave me another pill to take and charged me for our time together. Lousy friend. I need a friend who is not a doctor.

I LOVE MOVIES

I love movies, especially ones based on actual events or man against nature. I’m not limited to those alone. Give me action. Car chases, explosions, chases, fights – violence. Yes, I really am a very loving, sweet, tender and gentle guy. I could go on, but I digress. This “like” undoubtedly has some sort of deep psychological meaning. Like maybe, I’m one sick puppy. I can do without the ones marked “Adult,” or “Sexual Situations,” which I hope means I have some redeeming value.

I’ve seen two movies in the last two weeks. Iron Man 2 and Robin Hood. I was ticked at the ticket (ha ha) window when purchasing my ticket for Iron Man to discover my beloved senior citizens discount was raised from $5 to $6. It sure beats the evening price, which is all over $10 in my area. Even that is probably cheap compared to other places. I am sure $6 is still a good deal, but I’m still ticked. I’m also addicted to popcorn. I can no longer afford movie popcorn so I must eat before I go to the theater. Why, or why must I suffer like this?

I have a theater card that gives me some free items (hardly ever) and discounted items. I had to laugh at the great discount offered when I purchased my ticket for Robin Hood. Save 25¢ on a combo. What? They cost $12 and up. That’s not even tempting. If they want me hooked, raise the discount to 50%. No don’t. I don’t want to spend any more money than I already do.

I am not super-critical of my movies. I do not over analyze. If they hit me right, I like them, If they don’t I complain about them. I don’t even mind shedding a tear or two, sitting on the edge of my seat, or laughing at something terribly funny (preferably situational humor). I liked both movies. Robert Downey Jr. seemed born to play Iron Man. His attitude was perfect. The franchise will continue. Robin Hood was the first movie I saw that I could actually see the pitch to the money people. Robin Hood meets Gladiator meets Saving Private Ryan. When the French land on the shore of England the scene feels identical to the Normandy landing of Saving Private Ryan. I laughed out loud when the attack boat dropped the front and the soldiers could run to the shore. I was looking for Tom Hanks. Couldn’t find him. By the way, there will be a sequel.

Would love to see Prince of Persia when it opens, but my budget is two movies a month (or less). Will have to wait until Tuesday of the next week for senior’s day. I’m still ticked off about the price. I would boycott the theater if I weren’t addicted to movies.

WHAT MAKES ME LAUGH

I love comedians because I love to laugh. The question we have at The Home is where did they all go. It all started with a question of who planned to watch the Last Comic Standing. As you might expect — no one! That led to a few blasts at contemporary so called comedians. All the ones we could remember took a beating. Admittedly we couldn’t remember that many. It was interesting that even the ones whose own language is a little salty had the same frustration. Too blue! When trying to think of a comic show, sketch or movie that didn’t have something suggestive or just plane vile. And the language! If you have been to the theater lately you already know what we are talking about.

As we were talking there are one-liners right after the other. Naturally we all thought we were funnier that those being paid to be funny. We have no illusions. Not one of could sustain five mf the stage alone. But we have a question for those who are: Don’t you have any family friendly material?

As conversations usually go, memories were pooled. All agreed that The Carol Burnett was out favorite and that Tim Conway made the show. He constantly tried to make Harvey Corman and Carol breakup. He made us all crack up. That was must see TV, and most everyone did. We know there were only three choices a night, but it was always talked about the next day. We each had a different favorite episode. I loved that Gone With Wind take off when Carol came down the stairs in a curtain with the rod in her shoulders. It became even funnier when I learned the costumer for her show was Bob Mackie (designer to the stars today)

As the list of outstanding comics developed there was Red Skelton, Victor Borge, Jack Benny and only Bob Hope came close to the suggestiveness of today. We could not forget Jackie Gleason. I guess knocking your wife to the moon has lost something over the years. But among the great were George Burns and Gracie Allen, Lucile Ball, Eve Arden, and countless others. There was sexuality in some of their material, but not obscene, not grotesque, not embarrassing.

Maybe it’s just the generations. Maybe tastes have just changed and we haven’t kept up. But maybe real humor has not changed. Have you ever attended a spontaneous comedy family friendly show such as Sportz Comedy? That laughter is nonstop. I have seen some pretty raunchy comedians and the audience is in an uproar, much like our generation and our hero’s. But for us, there are huge loses to all generations.

As for me, I’ll stick to puns, play-on-words, or just plain stupidly. I’m not smart enough for much more. But I want to laugh at something that does not embarrass me.

LIFE LOOKS ROSIER AFTER 50

“Life looks a little rosier after 50, a new study finds. Older people in their mid- to late-50s are generally happier, and experience less stress and worry than young adults in their 20s, the researchers say.” Just read that on the Internet and we all know everything on the Internet is true. It’s strange, but I want to know where those people are that find life a little rosier. It is just a color or is it an experience. I admit my on life feels rosier now than it did in my 50’s. That was a period of loss. 20 years later I have accepted those things and moved on. Everyone here has suffered loss. They have all adjusted. We have adjusted to regularly meeting with doctors, our new best friends, and we hangout we always pick up the check. Some friend.

Actually there are many very contented residents. The hurt, crushed, angry and discouraged ones are just louder — way louder. It is not unusual to hear things like, “Don’t ever talk to me again.” “I hate you.” May you trip and fall down the stairs of life (kinda like that one). Most comments are not repeatable by me. These few do things to hurt others. They tell absolute lies to get others to hate the same enemies. Fortunately, most can’t seem to remember how hurtful they were the day before. Old-timer disease. Actually it beats asking forgiveness since they would never admit they did anything wrong. These people make my day.

It is interesting that so many simply accept the newly gained physical limitations and are thankful for what they have. One can walk up stairs, but not down – she laughs. Several push walkers as much for balance or for the seat that’s attached. That way they can always rest when they want. We laugh about organizing walker races. We could extend it to cane racing as well. Limping would be a well-attended event. We have a much smaller group in wheelchairs, but that would be our fastest race.

Many are powerful speed-readers. You would not believe that quantity of books people read in a week, or the number of puzzles that are done. Those could also be races. If we keep up this dreaming we may have enough events to start a non-athletic Senior Olympics. There’s also sun sitting (to old to sunbath), gardening, smoking (cough, cough), drinking (gin is popular), dusting, and then there is complaining, gossiping, yelling, criticizing. By Jove, I think we have it. A very competitive list of Senior Olympic events

I DREAMED OF THAT

I went to a BBQ at my daughters Saturday afternoon. Hubby and the two girls were out of town for a soccer tournament. It was just her, my grandson, two neighbor kids and the boys she was sitting. What a perfect piece of property. Five acres of mostly forest. I was taken on a tour of forts. I envied my grandson. I would have loved to have a place like this at his age. Instead, I had a couple of city blocks with tolerant neighbors who never yelled at us for running through their yard. Except for Mrs. Withrow. She didn’t want anyone touching her cherry tree. That was sad, because her cherry’s tasted great.

He had one fort that was so well constructed with branches and moss that it is doubtful if it would get wet inside. It appeared more like a cave. Open face. It looked much like the cave that often appears on Hallmark cards at Christmas with a mother, father and child inside. There were a total of six forts. I would have been happy for one. Instead I had cardboard stapled to a 1x2 frame leaning against the back of the house. I was thankful. I was the only one who had a fort. It was very important then as we usually played cowboys and bad guys. My fort was frequently the jail. Thankfully not one ever tore the cardboard off to escape. Dad did put up a somewhat descent roof covered with tarpaper. It had quit an overhang and kept the rain off the fort most of the time. Come to think of it, I miss those days. I actually preferred to be a bad guy as you got to be shot and roll down hills, fall off walls or even low roofs. I loved that, but then my goal in life was to be a stunt man. Yea, I know. I can’t believe it either. Now I can hardly get up on a small wall outside the building door by my apartment without feeling like I will lose my balance, fall and break something. The wall is 14” high. What a wimp.

Conversation around coffee this morning was an attack on the architect who designed this place. The two building are quite different. Apartments are all the same in my building. There are several different floor plans in the other building. Don’t get us wrong. We all love this place. But like any home you have, there is always something you would like to change or wish you had. We want storage. The other building has almost done. Out building has more and could have even more if the door to the closet went to the ceiling. Then shelves could be all the way to the ceiling. As it is, we have the air, but very limited access. I’d like to cut a hold about the closet doors and put storage in.

The kitchens are poorly laid out. That really bothers the cooks around here. Me too. There is practically no counter top. Above counter cupboards are too high and not enough. There is 8’ linear about the counter with another six feet about the stove and fridge. You can’t make it without a step stool. The under counter space is 4 ½ feet. Only a bachelor who eats out could make it, that’s what I’m told. Enough. I’m happy. Everyone who ever moved into a retirement center has downsized and is basically happy for it. I did it before I got here. Have done it twice since being here and need to do it again. Emotional sentimental things! Never look at them but they mean something – to me. My daughter will burn them when I am gone. So why can’t I do that now. I don’t know. I might want to look at them sometime. I just won’t do it.

HOUSEHOLD HINT #1

Hey, I just figured out a new household tip this week. If you have never tried this it may make doing dishes less stressful. This is only for those without dishwashers, which is almost nobody these days, but you may want to pass this on to your kids at college. Did you know washing dishes is far less stressful if you do them every day rather than waiting until you have no more clean ones left? It is also easier on the back. I probably knew this once upon a time, but being a long-term bachelor does dull your brain (on the bright side there are also no honey do lists). Some of you may have already known about this handy dandy helpful hint. You are wise indeed.

The missing table was near its proper place this morning. It has been moved to a side window, and it is not that badly placed. However, a table small round table and four chairs have been situated in such a way that it will be hard to play pool. Also shrimp (one of our really short ladies and still shrinking) removed the clock from the room. I had heard it was her who had done it so I expressed disappointment that it was gone. She commented that she was pleased someone missed her clock. She had taken it back because she was annoyed that the puzzle table had been moved. There is a lot of the putting things out for everyone to use and then taking it back if you get offended. Altogether now, sing: And the wheel goes round and round, round and round.

It’s a great day again today. I am getting very little done. Too nice to be inside. I can’t draw in the sun. My colored pencils are made of wax and they start to melt if you are out to long. I’m set up perfectly at a west window. Of course that means I can hardly see a thing from 4:00 until it drops behind the western hills. The light it perfect most of the day. I like that. A wonderful friend gave me a glass top drawing table. I can use it for a light table and lay it flat for a dining table. Haven’t laid it flat yet. I will when he comes to visit again. I know he would like to eat off a table not a TV tray. Really, why do I need a table? I would only pile things on it. I have my sofa for that.

I went to give a couple of people some photos I corrected and reprinted for them at about 4:00. There was a group playing dominos so I picked away at the puzzle for awhile. That is until the bickering got on my nerves. I simply went over, scolded them and sent them to their rooms with supper. OK, so I didn't do that. I sent my self to my own room. So glad I live alone.